Awesome Jobs to have, NOT

Couple of things about work. Not my work, but other peoples work.
-
First off, I read a story today about a veterinarian that actually put her hand down a Live Shark's throat. That is some serious type veterinarian shit to do.
-
Basically this little Nurse shark that was about 3 to 4 feet large had eaten some fish and evidently the fish spine rubbed up against its gullet and created a cut in its throat that made it painful for this nurse shark to eat, so it just quit eating. This alarmed the people that owned this shark (it was some kind of aquarium) so they called in this vet to take a look.
-
They put this shark in a little bathtub like enclosure and then mixed in some anesthesia and the shark kind of went to sleep. Sort of. from reading the article it was more like it got him/her groggy. Then a Vet helper got in the pool with this thing and kind of held him still and then the vet got in and they opened up its mouth and put a piece of PVC pipe in its gullett, then the vet put her hand through the PVC pipe into the mouth and stomach of this thing to check out the internal abrasion. Seriously, that PVC pipe could have slipped or whatever and those razor like teeth could have took her arm off. In my opinion, this is one 3 or 4 foot shark, and Darwin might be working and all. Sharks eat fish all the time and if you are a shark and get hurt by eating a fish to the extent that you no longer want to eat? maybe you should be dead. Just wow.
-
THEN some dudes at Fidelity Investment got fired because they had a fantasy football league. The company has a policy that you are not to use company time to gamble. Evidently the commissioner of this league did not use company time to do this, but someone in his league sent him a message to the extent that Trent Edwards SUCKS. Which from a fantasy football perspective that is all true. They found out the league had a $20 buy in and because of this they fired the dude? Seriously that is so fricking harsh, and the fact that Trent Edwards Sucks is part of why this guy got fired?
-
I love my job. I have yet to be required to put my hand down a sharks gullet, nor have I gotten fired because Fantasy Football is one of my things. Also I would have never drafted Trent Edwards either.

Softball Champions

This is the team that won the Wednesday Night Men's Rec League Softball championship for the City of Clearwater Florida.

Ballers, each and every one of em. To the extent that you can get fired up about winning a softball championship, we were, and are.

-

Those glasses that we are holding are the equivalent of the stanley cup. They are like Chizzeled glasses of awesomeness that also include a night out at a bar in which the bartenders will fill them up for free from 6 to 9 p.m, on January 16th. Just more Swag for the victors. We are like Conquering Vikings. Like Softball GODS!

Great Night of softball excellence!

Thursday night was a great night of epic proportions. Time was turned back for the billster, A glimpse of what I used to be, came out for me when I was at the plate and that was just my part, everyone else also played better then I have ever seen them play and justice was done.
-
Championship!, Swag for winning the championship came our way. It was just a night of cosmic alignment. Two games needed to be won against teams we had failed to beat in three tries previously. The semi final had a team that was undefeated all season, having beaten us twice. The championship game was against a team that also beat us in the prior game that we had played them, however, Tonight was the night for "Werther's Originals" and the balls fell in our gloves as we were on defense, and generally hit outfield grass when we were hitting. Just a beautiful night.
-
Hopefully, Pictures tomorrow.

Twilight the movie.

This is going around the internet -

Tough day at work

Board of directors meeting today, then some golf (my foursome won with a pathetic 1 over par in a scramble) We had 3 bogeys, 2 birdies and the rest par. - Dinner at a Nice Steakhouse and then home. Its a tough life, but someone has to do it. - Tomorrow is the Other board meeting for the other company, but no golf. Tomorrow I will have to play catch up for the fun of playing today. life is all about tradeoffs.

Tiger Woods Jokes I have heard in the past few days

Tiger Woods hit a tree AND a fire hydrant. Must not have been able to choose between a wood or an Iron.
-
The police asked Elin how many times she hit him? She told them I can't quite remember, just put me down for a 5.
-
What the hell were they doing out at 2:30 in the morning? just "clubbing"
-
what do baby seals and Tiger have in common? they both end up getting "clubbed" by Norwegians.
-

Thanksgiving Weekend 2009

While doing Thanksgiving at my ex-wife's house, my son wanted me to take a picture of him posing with a football in front of the football game that was on T.V. So then he posed, and I took the picture. (that was my T.V. in the background, which is just another thing I lost in that whole getting divorced dealio. )

I realized I had a "parenting moment" as soon as I snapped the picture so I asked him to pose again for me.

Before I took this second picture, I went full on "parent mode" and coached him up on the proper way to hold the rock. As you may notice in the first picture he was not holding the point of the ball, in addition to letting the ass end of the thing stick out behind his arm and just generally did not have it tucked correctly. In this second photo we have addressed those issues and had ourselves a little teaching moment.

After thanksgiving, I took my kids back down to Tampa via Melbourne to see my Grandma and Dad, (their grandfather and Great Grandmother) and after seeing some movies on Friday Night and watching the UofF Ass kicking of FSU on Saturday, we went to Busch Gardens on Sunday, even though it meant we would be unable to watch NFL football. When I am not watching NFL football on a Sunday, it is usually because it is the Spring or Summer and they just aren't playing. This was a Sunday when they WERE playing, but I was riding rollercoasters, eating popcorn, and making my kids stand in front of a mess load of flowers while I took their picture.

Big ass Busch Garden Gators.

The Cracker Barrel at MM 279 off I-75 which is the place of exchange.

Finishing the Marathon of 2009

The marathon that is the year is at the 25 mile mark. we have about a mile to go in the form of December, and unfortunately December seems to be on a bit of an incline. Finishing this bad boy out while running up hill seems to be a bit sadistic. Lets move Christmas to July or something. Its just hard dealing with it on top of everything else.
-
Maybe I am just sad about Bobby Bowden getting forced out up at FSU, although at least they are going to give the reins over to Jimbo Fisher and he certainly has not shown much in the last two years while he has actually been the head coach, at least in principle, in everything but the title.
-
Maybe its a bit of a downer that Carlos Dunlap, the Gators potential 1rst round draft choice type of player at Defensive End, got in some trouble earlier this morning and now is suspended indefinitely, but MOST definitely will be out for the SEC championship game. Thats a bummer.
-
And why does my job have all this stuff getting crammed in during this month as well? It seems like in addition to the main part of my job that I always have to do, right now I have to also deal with the pony show. Lots of meetings are getting mixed in. The type of meetings where you have to be on? Not the type of meetings where you can just be there and listen or something.
-
There are other pressures as well that I wont get into. Anyways, I am just going to keep on running and once January is here This Marathon will be over. We will of course start another one though. Maybe in 2010 I will do a little bit more travelling then I was able to get in this year and the bifurcated life will get easier.

Not gonna do it... Don't even bother asking me...

I just want to make this clear, I do not intend to Coach The Notre Dame Football Team next season. See, I am just like Coach Meyer . We are happy with our current positions, and really like living in Florida.
-

Blind Side was good.

Blind side was good. Not as good as the book, they never are, but in the book Sandra Bullock was not playing Mrs Tuhey either. The Guy playing Michael Oher nailed it as did Sandra.
I still cannot watch Lawrence Taylor breaking Joe Theismans Leg though. I have to turn away.
-
Worth the money to see it while it is in the theaters. Certainly worth a rental in a few months.

STUPID SHIT I HAVE DONE IN THE LAST TWO DAYS!

Its like I am telling on myself.
-
Most of the time when people do stupid shit, but no one else knows about it, They will keep it to themselves. Lots of time that is exactly how I roll as well. Not today Internet. TODAY, I am going to out myself as it were, about the two stupid things I have done in the past day and a half.
-
One is milder than the other. I will use that as my warmup. The second one actually cost me $100 bucks.
-
THE WARMUP STUPID THING:
-
Let me just set the scene, It is Thursday Night, I have gotten home from work, I have put in a workout (This particular workout was seriously half ass, but Still, a half ass workout is still better than no workout right?) I am home now and thinking about my plans. I Heart the Miami Dolphins and know they are playing on T.V. tonight but it is on "Direct T.V." which I don't have, and I think to myself that I need to take a shower and get dressed and go to a bar somewhere so that I can watch it, all while cursing the NFL for this cable ass bullshit they are pulling. -- I am tired, I had worked my ass off the Wednesday before last night, flying up to Tally at like six in the morning and getting back at 7:30 at night, then playing a Late night softball game, getting to bed late, exhausted and then of course working all day in the office on Thursday Night. I decide that as much as I would like to watch the Dolphins, I am just not up to going out, so I just stay home and watched some comedies on NBC and then went to bed. -
-
On my way in to work it dawns on me, THAT GAME LAST NIGHT WAS NOT ON THE SUNDAY TICKET! IT WAS ON THE NFL CHANNEL! MY CABLE PACKAGE HAS THE NFL CHANNEL! I COULD HAVE WATCHED THAT GAME BUT I WAS NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT THE HELL THE DEAL WAS ! UGHHHH... STUPID ME.
-
It gets worse though and it has the same theme of not paying attention, but this time it was not just my missed opportunity to do something I like to do, NO, this time my ability to NOT PAY ATTENTION busted my ass to the tune of $100.00. That's right Internet. I cost myself a C- NOTE.
-
On my drive into work this morning, just before I arrived, I had a phone call from a buddy of mine and we were talking about the FSU game which is in 8 days. Am I coming to the tailgate etc.? What are we going to cook, blah blah blah ... During this conversation I let my buddy know that YES! I am coming to the Tailgate - That weekend is my Kid weekend though, and I do not think I can find 3 Tickets together for a decent price etc. so I am just coming up for the tailgate and will watch the game on the T.V. at the tailgate spot. We hang up and I go into work and ALL BE DAMNED if in my E-mail there was not an Employee looking to sell his FOUR FSU tickets for $100 bucks total. I am like Holy moly! this is the Universe looking out for me, I call the dude up and tell him I am down for it and he brings them to me and we do BUSINESS. I bought FOUR FSU TICKETS For $100 bucks TOTAL! --- WOW! just incredible good fortune but of course a minute or so later I realize that the e-mail said nothing about Florida Florida State, the E-mail was this guys offer to sell his FOUR Florida FIU tickets. I had just been so caught up in my little world that I read it wrong ....
-
I decided that although I would tell the World on My Internet. It would be to embarrassing to tell the dude about my mistake and see if he would take them back. So I will just eat them -- No way that I am driving the two hours up to GVILLE to watch that game as I already have plans to watch it on T.V. in a bar.... Unless the bar doesn't get Pay per view? -- Okay Not going to make that mistake. I called the bar to confirm and they DO!

My two encounters with Florida's Next Governor

A few weeks ago I met the democratic nominee for Governor of the Great State of Florida. (we were drinking.) Okay, I was drinking. all right, full disclosure, it was at a fundraiser thing and they had some wine, so I had a glass. She was asking me for money. Okay, more disclosure, She was asking everyone that was at the thing for money. That was the whole point of the little get together. I shook her hand really quickly and said something stupid, got nervous and then made a fart sound with my armpit and my hand, bailed out of that situation and caught a waiter with some meatballs and those little toothpicks on a trey.

-

Yesterday, I ran into her again while I was up in Tallahassee and she tried to act like she didn't remember me, but this time she wasn't asking for money, so I think our relationship is developing nicely. (Seriously who forgets me?) I was in a group and she was speaking to the whole group, then she bailed out, so maybe she did remember me but she certainly did not wink back at me.

-

I might have made the part up about making those fart sounds with my armpit and my hand, but the thing about the meatballs was absolutely true. They had swedish meatballs at the fundraiser (I like to turn my profile to people and hold the toothpick on the side of my nose so it makes it look like I have gigantic, meatball looking boogers, that dangle down above my upper lip) Thats just me.

-

I did know that I shouldn't do it in that particular situation, however. I feel like my restraint is quite remarkable when I concentrate on it, but in all honesty I was wondering if it would have gotten a laugh? I once stuck some money up my nostril at a real live party though. Its kind of my idea on how to pick up women. If you have twenty dollar bills hanging from your nostrils they just assume you sneeze money. Chicks seriously would dig a guy that sneezes money. At least until this damn Swine Flu epidemic.

-

Seriously, Swine Flu is killing my game.

-

TEBOW IS BADASS

I found a new blog that is basically a hyper blog devoted to "Tim Tebow" the point of this blog is to write about Tim Tebow. Thats what every post is about. Something about Tim Tebow.
The point is to address Hyper Local blogs with the twist that its not about a neighborhood, but about a single person. A very famous person to be sure but every post is about him either directly or indirectly.
-
I love the guy myself, HUGE TEBOW FAN HERE, and think he is the greatest College Football Player that has ever suited up. Before him, my vote for that honor was a Georgia Bulldog. (Herschel Walker is still the Second Greatest College Football Player of all time) Anyways I Stole this Photograph from that blog and he evidently stole it from LSU FREAK. The link is www.timteblog.com
-

-
Tebow is All about being Above and Beyond, He makes Promises that get written up on metal and placed on Huge Ass Football facilities of Big time Football stadiums WHILE HE IS STILL PLAYING THE GAME. He gets himself put in the Ring of Honor while he is still PLAYING FOOTBALL IN THAT STADIUM! Seriously, the stadium that he plays his home games in, has a tribute to him. He is up there with Weurffel, Spurrier, Emmit, Youngblood and Wilbur. None of these guys ever got up their WHILE THEY WERE PLAYING. Other than Spurrier, all of them were actually done playing Football when they were honored. Spurrier still Coaches and was doing that when he got in but he is like a peanut shell of himself compared to when he was reaking havock in the SEC, Now he just occassionally upsets an SEC team. He is just a shell of who he used to be when he was at FLORIDA.
-
Tebow Saves Third World Children's lives in the offseason, or at the very least their foreskins on their Penises, and he is the only person in the world that can wear "Crocs" and make them look good. He is just badass! and this picture speaks the truth, even though it is doctored by LSU Freak and doesn't really exist anywhere.

Biggest Loser is Awesome

Love watching the biggest loser -- Tonight they had a makeover. Seriously, just some Good looking fat people. I mean that in the best way. they are seriously fat. but they are kicking ass. I am overweight myself, but I am happy with a pound a week or so in weight loss. I understand I have a Job and I have a social life. I am not living on a ranch where All I do is work out and eat right. I eat right about 3 or 4 days a week. I eat okay another day or two and usually eat like shit and drink to much one day or so a week. They get pissed when they lose "only" 3lbs a week.

-

See you Rebecca.... Should have lost more than 3lbs this past week and not get below the yellow line. Don't Be such a bitch when you get voted off. (I would have voted for LIZ myself, but I am not on the show) Still, don't get all whiny...

"The Blind Side"

Fired up about "The Blind Side" -
-
I read the book about 3 years ago. It was like two books in one. It had the Story of Michael Oher, but it was also an analysis of the Left Tackle position and the evolution of that position. Pretty sure the movie is just going to be Michael Oher's story but that is okay.
-
The last time I looked forward to seeing a movie this much was probably "Rocky"

-
Plus Sandra Bullock Is HOT!

Three Cans of Dip, Wrapped up like a present!

-
Saw TO giving a little lip to some of his coaches today! The implosion is about to start.
-
I made a little bet that Percy Harvin would score more fantasy points then TO this season and so far so good. Hoping that TO goes into Implosion mode real soon!

A shout out to Giant Karaoke machine making Corporations

Tomorrow night is Karaoke night. Last Time I went all Billy Joel. This time I don't know.
-
Love to do a little "Dinosaur" but it is so rare, only Hank and I can do it because The Karaoke Company does not load it up into their little Karaoke Machine, damn Karaoke ass communists!
-


-
How can I get my Country Rock Star on when the evil Karaoke Corporation wont load my song on their machine!
-
There are Lines like " Them aint High Heel Sneakers" and " Gay Guitar Pickers don't turn me on" Thats just great Song Writing right there....
-
COMEON GIANT KARAOKE MACHINE MAKING CORPORATION! WORK WITH ME HERE!

Take the Governor off the Porsche Mr. Addazio, for the love of all that is good in the world.

This is Coach Addazio.
-
He is the Gators Offensive Line Coach and Offensive Coordinator, and also the perfect example of the Peter Principle.

-

-

Last year and the year before that his only duty was as the Offensive Line Coach and he did an excellent job. Our Offensive Line was dominant. It is still an above Average College Offensive Line. It really helps when you have two future NFL linemen in the middle. (The Pouncey Twins will both be high draft picks)

-

His play calling though seems to be pretty limited. He calls the dive play up the middle. He calls it again, and then he calls for Tebow to do Tebow stuff and fix the problem that is 3rd and 4.

-
Back in the Doug Dickey era when the Gators ran the wishbone they would throw it more often then they do now.
-
Its like this: The Gators are a Porsche 911. Just a bad ass car, You can see it. Tebow is the Driver and Addazio is the crew chief. He has put a governor on that car though and won't listen to the people begging him to unhook that thing and let that car do what it is capable of.
-
He does have an awesomely shiny head though.

Stuff I am Grateful for

My Dad
My Kids
Having friends
My Job (and my boss for hiring me)
Watching The NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!
Being on a Softball Team
The location of My Apartment
Beer
women
Watching College Football
The Internet
Pat Tillman
The United States of America
My Divorce Lawyer
Psycho Ex-Girlfriend
-
(not a complete list)

A kid weekend....

This weekend was a kids weekend for the Billster.
Here they are on my Stoop, My Boy is wearing his Earnest Graham Bucs Jersey all proud like, because the BUCS WON TODAY. WooHooo!!!


Here they are in front of the Cracker Barrel. This is the general drop off point where I meet their mother for the Child Exchange. It is Mile Marker 79 on I/75. It works out well for me because it is only about a 45 minute drive from my apartment. It works out well for the Ex, because Her Boyfriend lives somewhere near this place.




This is a picture of my kids and the "RISK" board. after four games they finally took me down. They colluded to not attack each other and ONLY attack their dad. They did that before, but this time neither of them got very sentimental about owning Madagascar to break their treaty. They wore me out and were so proud in kicking my butt.



Think of the picture below as if I was a deer with some big old ass antlers and they were Deer Hunters that had just shot me. They are posing over their kill, and the Kill was me! (getting beat at Risk by my children) It was both a sad thing and a happy thing for me, at the same time. Pissed because of the negative mark on my "risk" playing abilities, and positive because they worked together and kicked my butt and they are my kids.


-
World Domination it was and my daughter ended up being the winner, going on to take my son down later...

The bifurcated life

Ultimately, everyone is just trying to live a life that is fulfilling, and interesting and has some meaning.
-
Some people do it better than others.
-

People that think about it, constantly judge themselves.

-

Ultimately I believe it comes down to comparison for everyone. Why did I end up the way I have ended up? Not that I think I am at the end, but at this point in my life, why is it still so hard for me? At this point I expected to have much more, both financially and emotionally.

-

I basically do okay in life, but metaphorically speaking, the deal is that I throw the football way to much.

-

I live my life like the run and shoot. It's an impressive offense and all, but it leaves your defense on the damn field to much, and besides, it is totally susceptible to the interception. Sure I need to run the football more than I do, but I just can't help myself and feel like throwing the ball is the way to go.

-

My life is basically pretty good, but the highs are not as good as the lows are bad. If, and again, metaphorically speaking, I ran the ball more, I may not have the ups of the 75 yard touchdown pass but maybe the lows of getting life run down the gullet would not be as painful either.

-

I hate that I let my life get so bifurcated. I hate that it is such a dichotomy.

-

Still I continue to line up in the shotgun with the no back set and five wide.

Poor fantasy football management

So I have Josh Brown on my Fantasy football team and he did this today:
-
Of course I had him on the bench because, Come on, he plays for the ST LOUIS Rams.
Just poor player management on my part. - Doesn't matter though because I won anyways but still...

A beautiful Saturday for College Freaking Football!

FIRED UP RIGHT NOW !! ---
-
Damn if College Football Saturdays aren't the best 13 or so Saturdays of all the 52 Saturdays you get in a year.
-
This PARTICULAR Saturday is just a little bit different. This is the Saturday that Florida Plays Georgia. Herschel Walker doesn't play there anymore so I feel like the mighty Gators have a chance. Okay, Honestly, I believe this is the week they hold on to the football and execute the way we all know they can and Tebow not only gets his 50th but also his 51st rushing TD of his career, along with throwing a few for good measure.
-
THIS Saturday is running a deep route, breaking wide open down the middle on a perfectly beautiful Fall day.
-
This is such a beautiful Saturday that they are going to give us an EXTRA HOUR. (technically that won't happen till Sunday but its at the point where Saturday night is bleeding into Sunday.)
-
Gonna have some fun today!

A moral victory of sorts

I was a part of what you might consider a "moral" victory tonight. We lost 12 to 11 in softball, but we were ahead during the game at various times. It was back and forth throughout, but in the end we came up short. This was the same team that drilled us in the first game of the season 16 to 2. This was the team that had not been behind in any game they have played all season. This was the undefeated team in our league and unfortunateley they remain undefeated.

-

We were playing to win, unlike Tennessee when they came into Gainesville and just played to stay respectable. We hope to get another shot at those guys in the playoffs at the end, and maybe if we can keep it together we can pull off the upset. Moral victories are still losses but the coulda woulda shoulda's are just much more poignant in something like this.

Biggest loser is HARSH

The biggest loser is harsh -- can't believe they sent Abby home, even though she basically made the case that it should be her that goes this week. The woman went through some real shit in her life. She lost her husband and two kids in an automobile accident. She wasn't with them, when a guy going 100 miles an hour crashed into their van. She lost her infant, and her 5 year old, and her husband.

-

Now she got herself voted off "The Biggest Loser" t.v. show. If she hadn't thrown herself on the sword I am pretty positive it would have been someone else that got run out of there. I Bet the producers were not happy with that development as she came across the T.V. as an excellent person that is just trying to deal with the curve balls that life throws at her, just like everyone else does. Except she did not just get curve balls, life was throwing heat at her ear hole.

-

Obama and the Percy Harvin Jersey

It says Obama, but it's Percy's old number and now its Janorice Jenkins'
-
Maybe Mr. Obama could fill in for Steve Addazio and mix in a pass play here and there with all those damn running plays. Its like 1970's Nebraska football that we have going on in Gainesville. Thank goodness that defense is STOUT.
-
That jersey is like those pants that those girls have in that one movie, you know the movie I am talking about? the one with the pants?

GO HUMAN BEINGS

Listening to Sports Talk Radio on my way home from work today and I was once again reminded of something I had previously observed.

-

The host of the show is a Hurricane Fan, Hurricane Alumni, and also an asshole. (You can be a Hurricane Fan and also Hurricane Alumni, and NOT be an asshole. I am not implying because you are a part of the first two, that you are automatically an asshole, just that this guy, who I will leave unnamed is one, an asshole that is) also his name is Mark Bednarzik (Okay I did not leave him unnamed afterall.)

-

Mark Bednarzik, Lane Kiffin and that Study that basically says you should ALWAYS go for it on 4th down can kiss my ass.

-

Back to the point though, which was me being reminded of something I had previously observed. which is this: "People that hate Tim Tebow can't help themselves but actually still LIKE Tim Tebow." He is that good of a human being. GO HUMAN BEINGS.

-
-
-
-
-
-
-

Side note on Mark Bednarzik. There are three Radio Stations that I am aware of that do Sports Talk in the Tampa Market. 620, 1010, and 1040, all of which are on the AM dial. I have listened to all 3 at varying times on my ride home from work. Mark Bednarzik is absolutely the Best in that time slot. I never call in because I disagree with him so much and he owns the controls on the situation, but as much as I disagree with MOST of his opinions on sports and think that he is a negative nelly, I still listen to him instead of those other two stations because although he is an Asshole, he is the good kind of asshole.

Going "ALL IN"

I am "All in" tonight. Its a poker term, but it translates well to real life. In poker, if you have the good hand but the pot is growing out of your range, you can fold up and live to play another day so that you retain your money, or you can go "All in" which is fine, if you win the hand, but if you lose, you are done playing.

-

Nothing wrong with folding a really good hand to live on to play another hand.

-

You might know your cards are good, but worry, and suspect another player has an even better hand.

-

Not going "all in" can be a very wise strategy. Not doing it, is like punting the football on 4th and 1 from midfield. Its almost exactly like that. Think about it, on the first three plays you obviously AVERAGED 3 yards a play to make it to a fourth and 1 situation, and more than likely, if you go for it, you will get the yard. Most coaches, however, punt in that situation even though there have been studies that have proven that the most logical move is to go for it. (those studies, as well as Lane Kiffin, can Kiss my ass. I am just pointing out a Harvard study that documents this shit and that I can't reference right now, because its really just a side point, plus I don't feel like doing the research to back up my shit, but the people that know football well know which study I am referencing)

-

Playing field position football and defense and backing down from "all in" situations creates longevity for football coaches, and keeps you alive till you can get that magical Royal Flush in poker. I get that. I understand that, but not tonight.

-

Tonight I am going to Rage a little. I am going to go all early 1990's Steve Spurrier and just throw the ball to spots, and hope the receivers get their ( they mostly did under Spurrier, thats why that dude is a legend and why Weurffel had such a bitch of a Pro career, because in the pros lots of times they dont get there due to the increased skill level of the Defensive backs in the NFL)

-

So life... Tonight I am playing all four downs, I am not punting ever and even if it gets silly, Like to the degree that its 4th and 8 on my own 2 yard line and I am down by 38 points. I am still going to go for it. Suck that LIFE.....

RUMORS

Heard a rumor today.
-
Bobby Bowden is going to retire at the end of this season, they are currently negotiating a severance package. Bobby wants 4 million. FSU is offering 1 million.-
-
They will reach a number, and then Bobby will exit. Except he is not going to quit coaching. He is going to be the head coach at UAB next season. His son Terry will be the assistant head coach, Jeff and tommy will also be on the staff.
-
Just a rumor though, I will call my contact in the FSU family tomorrow and find out if he has heard any of it...

Kiss My ass Lane, plus a side helping of trivia

Lane Kiffin can Kiss my ass. He may be correct, maybe Alabama is the true number 1 team in the country. He is entitled to his opinion and I am entitled to think that he can kiss my ass. --
-
Just a little trivia about Lane Kiffin and his wife. His wife and my Ex-wife went to the same High School. (not at the same time, they are a few years apart in age) Here is some more trivia. His Wife was a huge Gator fan growing up because her dad was an assistant coach at Florida when she was in her formative years. Before that, her dad was a Florida Gator QB who once threw 9 interceptions against Auburn in one game, which I believe is still a record for the most interceptions thrown by one QB. in a single college football game, my goodness at some point shouldn't a coach pull your interception throwing ass out of the game and let someone else try? (John Reaves is her father)
-
She is also a Florida Graduate herself. Her and Erin Andrews
-


I will say this, She is rocking that Orange Dress and if you did not notice, it is Gator Orange, you can see the difference as she stands next to that Kid in the Vols Jersey.

Stupid Fantasy Football

Nice weekend fantasy wise... came into Monday night up 87 to 73, no worries, still have LT going for me tonight, and of course my oponent wasn't done either, I knew that. He had the Denver defense/special teams. He also had Eddie Royal.
-
If you did not watch it, Royal had a kick return and a punt return which is 12 points each for 24 oh yes, plus he had the defense which is 24 more points for the same returns = 48 points tacked on to the 73 = 121 fantasy points against my little 87 and its not even half time, plus LT is getting pulled at the goal line and is not the LT of old anymore. LT is still a decent back, but fantasy wise, he is pretty much a guy that you will probably need to find the good matchups in terms of the other teams defense, instead of just starting him because he is LT, like you used to be able to do back when he was the best back in the game.

Sweet Suite!

Big timing it on Thursday Night - Went to the Bulls / Cincinnatti game in a SUITE! it was SWEET!

Florida Vs. LSU

LSU / Florida weekend turned out for the good. Doesn't always happen that way, and now the next biggest game for Florida is Arkansas, in Gainesville. This one is only going to be a two hour drive away, but I have no idea if I am going or not, which oddly enough, never happens when it is LSU.

-

When it is LSU I am there. This is because of a pact I made with my buddy some 18 years ago. We were drinking at the time and the idea was that we would just always be at the Uof F/ LSU game every time they played. --

-

It may get broken some day in ATLANTA. We could get priced out of the seats someday, but even then, we will try, and if we fail, we will be together in a Bar, in the City it is being played at, and at the very least, watching it. We came very close this year to not making it, but in the end, the universe wants us to be there and the Universe acted accordingly.

-

Excellent weekend in Baton Rouge

Lots of driving to get here....
-
Lots of defense that was played
-
Lots of fun!

Democrats on Halloween

Finding LSU tickets

Stone cold Poker player looking at the down cards knowing they are crap. Looking around, figuring on the bluff, or maybe turning that bluff into buying the pot outright if the bluff doesn't fly. Not prepared to lose the hand, Putting on the sunglasses right now puffing on the cigar. The stone cold killer starts reading the tells.

My prediction: Tebow will play this week at LSU

Game week: #1 Florida vs #4 LSU, in Red Stick Louisiana.

-

Tebow went down, and still has not been cleared to play. I believe he will be game ready though.

-

I had one Concussion my junior year in High School. I played outside linebacker and all week long I had been studying film of our opponent. They had a little bubble screen play and a component of that play was one of their wide receivers cracking back. All week we practiced it and I was able to pick it off in practice against our scout team TWICE.

-

In the game I saw the formation and just felt the play coming, and in fact I was playing that tendancy specifically on that down, meaning if they had actually been running right at me I would have looked like a fool because the second the ball was snapped I smoked it out to where I knew the throw was going, so I could get the pick six, but in my excitement, I forgot about the other receiver who was supposed to crack back on me, and he did. No pick six for me and the next thing I remember, I was on the bus going home. I played the next week though, and TEBOW has had Two weeks to deal with his.

-

I have the utmost respect for LSU but do feel the reason the Gators will win is because of TEBOW and if he doesn't go, I think it would swing to them with the home field advantage and all those crazy drunk Cajuns going nuts in a night game at Death Valley. Brantley is a very good

QB, but I would hate for his first start to be in that situation.

-

(LSU CELEBRATING THEIR WIN AT GEORGIA)

-

Its a long drive and I worry with both of them being undefeated, that I wont be able to scalp a ticket, but not enough to figure it wont happen.

Octoberfest

Softball void filled

Softball void filled! - Actually filled it up Last Wednesday, but I have been neglecting my blog and quite honestly its only something that is interesting to me. We got our ass kicked last week but we still played, and life was good. Tonight we were the Kicker instead of the kickee, which is just all around better.

-

We were up 16 to 5 but let them score six runs in their part of the 6th inning, so it looks closer then it was at 16 to 11. I played like an Old man, which I am, but it was an Old man that had a good time. Managed to not get hurt and only made a little bit of a fool out of myself.

-

I was pitching and there was a guy who thought he had a triple. Our outfielder threw it to Third (the guy was on Second) and it got by, This was when the dude started heading for third when he saw the overthrow, except yours truly was backing up the play and had him dead if he kept coming to Third, so he turned and went back to second, which by all rights, I had him dead there also, except instead of throwing it to the second baseman, I threw that puppy into Centerfield. Got to work on not getting all excited like that for the future.

Fantasy Football will mess you up

Dallas Clark scored 30 fantasy points - had he scored 31 I would have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory... How messed up is it that when the Garcon kid scored for Indy, I was happy because it took away the opportunity for Clark to put me away fantasy wise. I was totally rooting for the Dolphins and loving how they kept the ball, but on that last Indy drive I was stressing. Fantasy football will mess you up.

Sweating out Dallas Clark

Going into tonight I am winning this weeks fantasy football matchup by 31 points. All my guys are done but my opponent (Feeding Frenzy) has Dallas Clark - We play in a league in which you have to get a certain amount of yards before they start counting - for tight ends the minimum is 50 yards. The very first play is 80 yards to Dallas Clark which is 8 points for the yards and as the touchdown was more then 39 yards, the T.D. was worth 12 fantasy points, so now I am only up by 11 and every ten yards is another point. Stressful shit rooting against Peyton Manning because he is Peyton Manning and he will throw a football with some precision Plus out of habit I kind of like the fish as a whole so its like a double dagger when Clark scores.

Judging Chili:

A friend of mine sent me this via E-mail. I have no idea who wrote it and I saw it years ago as well, but this is just funny:
-
Texas Chili Contest:
-INTRODUCTION TO JUDGE NUMBER 3, WHOSE NAME IS FRANK:
-
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected a s a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges, (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me, I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". I am not from Texas and I had no understanding of what I was getting myself into. Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
-
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
-
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
-
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
-
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
-
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
-
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
-
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
-
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver.
They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
-
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
-
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
-
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
-
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite.
Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
-
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
-
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
-
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
-
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
-
CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
-
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
-
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
-
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage.
Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher.
I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
-
CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
-
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
-
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
-
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
-
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
-
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
-
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
-
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water.
My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
-
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
-
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
-
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
-
Judge # 3 - No Report

A little set back in the VOID filling department

The original Hooters is on a street called Gulf to Bay in Clearwater Florida and is about 2 miles from where the softball park is located. Right next door is a place called Pete And Shortys and that is where we had our post softball beer. It would be like going to NY City and eating at an Olive Garden. We had our reasons for going to the Pete And Shortys instead of the Hooters and next week we will have the same reasoning more than likely.

-

The team shirts are Orange, but they are kind of a Burnt Orange, like the University of Texas shade of Orange. The Facility is pristine. Unfortunately, it is not like Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, in that it was not a dome and the skies opened up on us about midway through the games that were being played just before ours. So my softball void was left in my life for at least one more week. Crash Davis said it first: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it rains. Tonight it rained and I lost .... Lost out on playing softball.

SOFTBALL TOMORROW!!!!!!!

Softball is back for the Billster!
-

Lets face it, life just isnt as good without having a night of softball once a week, and ever since I moved to Tampa, there has been a softball void, a 9 month long, void, the size of the Grand Canyon. Just a big old hole in the ground, except this void isn't in the ground, it was in my life. Tomorrow rectifies this situation and that void will be filled, Bats will be swung, errors will be made and beer will be had. Smack will be run, and a game will be played!

-

I have never played with any of these guys and don't know their ability nor the skill level of the competition. so that is stressful. I do not want to be the weak link on our team but that is a chance I will take as most of these guys are in their mid to early 30's and it is an "A" League.

-

I will just ball as best I can and try to use the whole field to spray the ball and let the chips fall where they may. Damn I am excited though!

A good fantasy football weekend

It was a good week of Fantasy Football for the Billster. Mostly because Adrian Peterson is one of my guys, and he is like a man among boys. That last 60 plus yard run was a thing of beauty, at one point he put on the breaks and threw a Cleveland Brown right off the field, got going again and put a Jim Brown type stiff arm on another dude, and then outran everyone else to the end zone.

-

Brett Favre threw his first touchdown pass as a Viking, which doesn't really matter to me because Brett is not one of my guys, but the man who caught it was Percy Harvin who is!

-

I drafted him relatively high and caught a bunch of shit from all the other dudes in the league, for being a bit of a homer (huge Gator fan here) so much so, that I made a bet that he would have more fantasy points this year then Terrell Owens. So far so good as T.O. got shut out tonight and I saw him running his jaw a little bit in the huddle and pouting some on the sidelines tonight.

-
Just a beast,

-
Other observations from watching a shit load of NFL games this weekend.
* Drew Brees is a stud, and I might need to think about starting Jeremy Shockey over Chris Cooley, even though Cooley also had a solid day as well.
* Tom Brady is back, and he looks alot like Tom Brady used to look, especially on those last two drives.
* Earl Bennet is going to be a Thousand Yard, 10 touchdown guy this year in Chicago because that was just a bad game for Cutler and it was an Aberration more so then a trend.
* Mark Sanchez is a football player
* I am a bit of a "geek" when it comes to watching NFL football and I realize no one gives a shit about my NFL observations and Fantasy Football except me and my mom, and she is dead.
(My Mom always loved me and she would love it just because I love it)
* That Redzone Channel is pretty awesome but the guy that narrates it needs to pin his left ear back so it doesn't stick out like half of a dumbo. (his right ear appears relatively normal)
* How much time did Brandon Stokley really kill as he ran parallel to the endzone on that last freak ass tipped ball? Seriously ...another 2 seconds?
* Brian Urlacher? Your wrist? thats going to put you out for the entire season? put some duct tape on that bitch and shoot up some pain killer and get out there and be the beast that you are.
* I had a great time this Sunday at my buddys house watching Direct T.V.

Patrick Swayze RIP

"Pain don't hurt" which just may be one of the most ridiculous lines ever uttered in a movie, but it was a ridiculous movie, where there are such things as world famous bouncers that have philosophy degrees from NYU, and it is a line I like to use in a mocking tone when the situation is appropriate. It is always a joy to me when someone knows that I am quoting Dalton from the movie "Roadhouse." That movie was so terrible that it's actually good. I love the part where "Dalton" Flips his hair around and checks himself out in the mirror as he is in the middle of a bar-fight.

-

This was a movie in which a super hot looking woman is a doctor that doesn't drink but continually hangs out at a rough ass dive type of bar at 3 am in the morning. The guy from the milk commercials is also a "famous" bouncer and the level of cheese in this movie just thrills me.

-

Then there is another line I like to use when the situation is appropriate, from another movie. "nobody puts baby in a corner" Patrick Swayze movies were just fun.

GE, The company that satisfies all your locomotive needs.

Watching the opening game of the NFL season and loving every minute of it, but I do wonder what the hell the executives at G.E. were thinking in running those commercials? - They are quite the creative commercials, extolling the virtue of General Electric products. Products Like Locomotives and Jet turbine engines? who is the target market for that advertising? Is someone sitting home, watching some NFL football and thinking to themselves, damn I sure would like a locomotive train or a Jet turbine engine but I just don't know which company I should buy them from? Oh... Look, GE makes Jet Turbine engines and Locomotives I thought they just made refrigerators and other appliances. I think I will buy my locomotive from them.

Happy birthday Mom...

My Mom at about 24 years old. Today would have been her 63rd birthday and is the second birthday she has had since she died in November of 2007.
-
She was a good person.

Small little sibling digs

Driving up to Gainesville on Saturday Morning and the issue of Halloween came up. My son said he was going to be a vampire. My daughter said she was going to be a pirate.
when my son heard that, he offered to let my daughter use his pirate hat.
-
My DAUGHTER replied: "No thanks I am just going to wear a bandana"
-
My SON responded: "so you don't want to be a pirate? you are just going to be a pirate sidekick"

Just happy its back!

Awesome weekend. Just good to be out at the tailgate again, talking football.

The Fifth Beatle

The 2009/ 2010 College Football season is starting right here on my T.V.---- in my living room!

-

I am sitting on my reclining chair, watching the Gamecocks play the Wolfpack. Just excited as can be, like a 6 year old kid at 7 am on Christmas day.

-

Jesse Palmer the ex-Gator, ex- Giant, ex-Bachelor contestant, is doing the color commentary for me.

-

(Jesse Palmer being all bachelor like)

-

Of course its not just our favorite Canadian Ex-Gator-Ex-Giant-Ex-Bachelor doing the color commentary in Jesse Palmer, but it is a dual commentary situation as "CRAIG JAMES"- He of the many nicknames is mixing in some analysis as well. Craig was part of the duo at SMU that they called the Pony Express. The pony express was just an awesome nickname when considering a platoon situation at running back.

-

In addition to being part of the Pony Express, James is also the last caucasion running back to have over 1000 yards in an NFL season and thus he is often referred to as the great white hope.

-

James was also the Original Kirk Herbstreit on College Game Day, when that show first started.

-

Many people may not remember, but Herbstreit was Lou Gehrig to Craig Jame's Wally Pip, except Craig didn't get hurt or anything to give Herbstreit the opportunity, he just thought he was bigger then ESPN and the College Game day show itself. He bet on that, and found out he wasn't after all. He continues to do analyst work now, even back at ESPN, but back in the day, he just thought he would go pull the same thing off at CBS.

-

As Lee Corso might say: "NOT SO FAST CRAIGY..."

-

College gameday was the first pre-game show devoted to College Football as a whole, and is now as much a part of a Saturday Morning during the fall, as McDonalds Egg McMuffins are required eating as you head your way down to the tailgate site.

-

Its Like James was the FIFTH BEATLE but because he wasn't aloud to sing lead vocals he quit before College Game Day blew up into the institution it is now.

-

Fantasy Football

This past weekend we had our fantasy draft and these are my starters in the Big Money league.
-

Feeling pretty good about it, plus the Cowboys defense .... and Cooley cracks me up with those awesome shorts.

Game Week

Coach with his Game face on, Know why? ..... Cause its GAME WEEK.... thats why!