Sunday, April 27, 2008

The one where Spike Lee yells at me

Yesterday, when I was getting yelled at by Spike Lee, I was thinking to myself, to hell with him. I am the one that lives here. Who made you the king of the outside world? Sure you know Michael Jordan and Reggie Miller and I don't. You know what ? You are the one that evidently Flew to Miami, rented some off duty cops and put some beautiful flowers around the trees that grow from the sidewalk just outside of my building. Me? I live here. I have a right to walk outside of my building and go to the stupid McDonalds thats just down the street for my two for two dollars Egg McMuffin deal. Yes I feel bad about this McDonalds. Yes I wish it was a better McDonalds, instead of the most despicable, last place McDonalds of all the McDonalds in all the world, but you know what? It's MY McDonalds. Our relationship is Messed up, I hate my McDonalds, but I also need the Egg McMuffins. Its like that joke, where the guy goes to the psychiatrist to bitch about how awful his wife is. He tells the psychologist that his wife thinks she is a chicken and he just cant take her neurosis anymore. The psychologist asks why he doesn't divorce her if she thinks she is a chicken? He replies: "because I need the Eggs? duh?" Same thing with me, I hate that dirty, poor service, long ass line McDonalds of mine, but I need the Egg McMuffins.

I felt a little self conscious about the photography, so I don't think I did it justice, but hopefully you can see how we have two signs here, both saying open, but really only the one that I am in has a real person doing anything, and you can tell the one that I am in, because I am the one taking the photograph, and trust me, she wasn't doing anything quickly. There is a woman at the front with her kid. You can see the top of his head in the photo. Next to the kid is a construction worker. he is wearing a Hard hat, just in case someone starts throwing Egg McMuffins I guess. I asked him about the hard hat, and he told me that his head never really developed well from when he was born, like most peoples heads get harder over time, he said he had that soft skull thing going on till he was 40 or so? It was like play doh, Either that, or maybe he is just a construction worker, and I am making some shit up? Maybe that's what he said? Something to the effect like: "What the hell are you doing taking pictures of a line at a McDonalds?" " Of course I work construction, don't you see all the buildings nearby that are being built? who the hell do you think is doing that? Construction workers like me?" Sheese...
So as a summary, I walked out of my building and get yelled at by Spike Lee, I walk over to my Crappy ass, good for nothing, except two for two dollars Egg McMuffins McDonalds, and a construction worker lays it down for me. -Meanwhile start talking about taxes with my wife, or the situation we find ourselves in with the divorce, and again, someone will be yelling at me. Life is funny like that.
Here is a picture of the next two spaces to the right, that are just outside of the photograph in the first one. for some reason those two cash registers are "closed" Evidently, the line in the first two were only Gilligans Island type things, with there promise of a "three hour tour" The owners of this particular McDonalds were probably to busy rolling around on a bed full of cash right that very minute, they certainly couldn't be bothered with hiring some other people to, oh, I don't

know, work the registers?

And what the hell is that guy doing behind the "closed Cash register" I think he is getting some cash out so maybe he can wipe his ass after he goes to the bathroom. I am telling you, its the busiest, dirtiest MacDees in all the world, and I wouldn't doubt that they wipe there butts in cash and clean the floor after they close, with particles of gold filled bleach.
Anyways, I got my Egg McMuffin deal and went back to see what Spike Lee was doing. Earlier, before I got to the McDonalds I had walked outside of my building and found a commercial was being shot. My HighRise had been converted into an urban city streetscape, in which part of her was evidently some kind of a book store or something. I had listened to the guy that was at my door when he told me it was ok to cross the street, so I did just that, in fact he specifically asked/ told me to get out of the way and cross the street. When I got to the safe part, that's across the street like he said, where there were many other civilians just like myself, I took a few pictures. Not soon after that, a guy started yelling: "Stop with the flashing!" Turns out, It was Spike Lee basically yelling at one of his people, to tell me to quit with my picture taking. It wasn't the photographs that bothered him it was my stupid flash. So yes, he wasn't necessarily yelling directly at ME, so maybe I exagerated, but he was yelling at a guy about how bad he sucked because he didn't control me from taking those pictures. I heard what he said and thought to myself the thing that I told you I thought at the beginning of this post, plus on top of that I thought, HEY. Spike Lee is sort of yelling at me? That's pretty cool! and then I quit taking pictures. Really though, they didn't even care if I took pictures, they just cared that My flash didn't go off when they were shooting the scene. So then I took a whole bunch more pictures during the down time between the shots. Making T.V. Commercials is hard work. It entails eating Egg McMuffins and standing around taking pictures in between takes and trying not to get yelled at.
Here is a picture of My building doing that acting thing that she does. See how she portrays a bookstore here? and yes that is Spike Lee. Don't worry though, I have some better photos that I will put up here in a minute.
These photographs didn't get me yelled at, because they were just setting up the scene when I was taking these. What Pissed Spike off was when they were actually shooting the scene and I took the photos, and again, it wasn't the photographs, it was the flash.
Here is another look at my building doing the stuff she does with the acting business and being in the background like in that Sony commercial, She is such a damn rock star.
Do you see the poinsettias around the base of the trees? Those are some ACTING flowers to go along with my ACTING Building. Normally we don't have Poinsettias around the base of our trees, normally we have used condoms and stuff. Also that grey box right there acting like a newspaper rack? that's an ACTING Newspaper rack as well. Inside that grey rack is a bunch of stupid papers. This T.V. show/ Commercial, making business requires allot out of my building and allot out of the flowers as well as the newspaper racks.

here is my building in all her tallness. She is a Star of Commercials. She allows me to live in her for now although with all this fancy ass commercial shooting that's going on, pretty soon it will be so hip that I wouldn't be able to afford the rent and I will have to find a less popular building. A building that cares about ME and not all the publicity and money and being in the background of Sony commercials and now this Verizon commercial. A building that may not have topless women sunbathing on its roof. A building that is just ordinary. But for now, I will just enjoy my building and our relationship and worry about that other stuff later.
Here is the best photo I was able to secure of Spike. Not so tuff now are you when I expose your humanness. You are just another guy Mr. Lee, and its Not the shoes after all.
Plus, just yell at me directly, don't yell at someone on my behalf? Plus what if I call you MARS?
Thanks for the Link to this post sent over by


Gizmo said...

NICE Blog :)

Native Minnow said...

The house where I live has never been in a commercial, or TV show, or movie. I guess my house sucks. Maybe I should move.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Gizmo, - thanks
Minnow, all of our houses and apartments can't be movie stars, some have to just get up in the morning and go to their office jobs. (also My building has its own website and people in there have a thread where they talk about the women sunbathing topless on the roof like its a bad thing) Except me and a few other guys who are PRO women sunbathing topless

Bill From Gainesville said...

scg said...

You are entertaining to read. And the photos are cool. Love reading you.


Bill From Gainesville said...

Thank you very much SCG! I like reading your stuff also!

The Charming Hedonist said...

That's it, Spike is officially a douche for having you yelled at. And to think, I actually liked that one movie with the guy in the place and the thing.

Gosh Bill, you sure are lucky to live in a rock star.

And admit it, Dawgs rule.

Brian in Mpls said...

That is awesome!

Bill From Gainesville said...

Hedo thanks for having my back, but Spike is ok -- He did yell, but I didn't take it personally, I understood. He is still good and that one movie with that guy in the place and the thing was really good just like you said... and also I heard Herschel Walker doesn't even like the bulldogs except the OTHER herschel Walker does.
Brian, I agree nothing like starting your day with two Egg McMuffins and getting yelled at, sort of, by Spike Lee

Anonymous said...

Very funny post. There's a lot of filming going on Downtown lately. They're always filming movies and shows and now TV commercials. Must be awesome to live in Downtown! :)

Bill From Gainesville said...

Anon, its a total new experience to me. I am a small town kid living in a big metropolitan downtown city and It is cool. I just wish my family was with me on it. but thats just not how it is.

Quin Browne said...

next time, yell, "FLASH!" then take the photo.

they are used to hearing "FLASH!" and seeing a flash.

'cause that is what you do on set... you yell it then you do it.(i do stuff like that on my job)

jus' sayin'

aside from that, made me laugh.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Quinn, I have my little notebook and will jot that one down and I am glad it made you laugh. thats the whole point of 75 percent of my posts! to make people laugh!

Bill From Gainesville said...

Quinn, I have my little notebook and will jot that one down and I am glad it made you laugh. thats the whole point of 75 percent of my posts! to make people laugh!

"said" Woman said...

You should have yelled back at Spike Lee for "Bamboozled."