Friday, March 30, 2012


So I go to the Doctor today for a routine checkup and during the process the man says to me: "You are in relatively decent condition for a slightly overweight, middle aged man." -  The truth can hurt.  I know I carry a little extra around my midsection.  I also know that I am Middle Aged.
The problem is when I see myself in the mirror I see how I used to be, and when I think of my age I still feel like I am in my early thirties. -- anyway,  He just told me to  Take my blood pressure pills,  try to lose a little weight,  don't drink quite as much, and come in next week so he can stick his finger in my butt.  (Its called a digital exam, to check on my prostrate) -  It is a completely normal exam for guys in my age range,  but still------ I DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT....      

Thursday, March 29, 2012

RIP Harry Crews

"Alcohol whipped me. Alcohol and I had many marvelous times together. We laughed, we talked, we danced at the party; then one day I woke up and the band had gone home and I was lying in the broken glass with a shirt full of puke and I said, 'Hey, man, the ball game's up," -- Harry Crews

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Thanks McDonalds!

A box of Twenty piece McNuggets cost $4.99, and evidently, at least according to the McDonald's Commercial, a good thing to do is buy them and then offer to share them with a hot chick who just happens to be sitting in a McDonalds, by herself, not currently eating anything.  So now you know what to do if that situation ever comes up. Thanks McDonalds!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Tebow and the Jets.

NFL fans are  split on Tim Tebow.  Lots of haters  suggest he is not that good,  and then there are others, like me, who think he is a diamond  ensconced in coal.  All you have to do is dig in that coal mine a little bit to find it,  and you will get your Elizabeth Taylor sized rock.   Believing in Tebow is like believing in John F. Kennedy in 1962, when he said that man will walk on the moon before the decade is done.  Ask Neil Armstrong if that actually happened in 1969 if you are not sure how that worked out.   Ask Ike Taylor of the Pittsburgh Steelers, who got burned on that 80 yard touchdown pass in the Bronco's overtime win against them last January If Tebow can play.  That was a Precision pass, and a textbook stiff arm by Demaryius Thomas.  It was also the equivalent of sending Monkeys into space.   It was just a glimpse.
You may have gotten fat and out of shape in your life, but then if you lose the weight, or, as a comparison,  believe in Tebow,  it's like not only losing it all,  but also  digging in the back of your closet to find those old jeans that you used to wear,  except  when you try them on again, you find a hundred dollar bill in the pocket.  Tebow is that Hundy.  You just have to believe. Tebow will provide that extra reward,  that incredible scramble,  that impossible finish, that Hundred dollar bill in the forgotten pair of jeans.  
There is no doubt in my mind that Tebow is a better QB than Sanchez,  and if the Jets coaching staff is open  minded enough to bring him in,  they are probably open minded enough to see the truth when it presents itself.  They may sit there for awhile and only see the coal.  Their 1962 selves,  may not believe that man will walk on the moon someday, but eventually, I am sure they will see the monkeys orbiting the earth and begin to wonder if they can fit into those pants that are in the back of their closet.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

New York Jets Fan, starting today

Happy for Tim Tebow getting a job the day after he was essentially fired.   The Bronco's didn't think he was good enough, even after saving their season last year and leading them to the playoffs, yet because it is Peyton Manning that replaced him, its hard to argue they did the wrong  thing for their organization. Not to many 36 year old quarterbacks that have had 4 neck surgeries in the past year with a questionable arm due to nerve damage that you would take over Tebow,  but Peyton is that guy.  
They essentially sacrificed Tim Tebow for a chance to have Peyton run their organization for 2 or 3 years and pursue a superbowl birth.  As Tebow is an admitted virgin,  it is the first time in  NFL history that a team sacrificed a virgin to go after a superbowl.
Good thing there is not much media presence in New York City because I am sure Tebow sitting on the bench will hardly get noticed.

True stuff

Nothing in this world thats worth having  comes easy.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Top of the morning to ya

A 2 Day Street Festival!  RIGHT BY MY HOUSE!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The World Is A better place now.

Yesterday, I came across a picture in the current issue of National Geographic of a Rhinoceros being hoisted upside down by his legs from a  helicopter, and it just made me happy for all mankind, because seriously,  It's A Rhino hanging upside down from a helicopter.  Rhinos do not just voluntarily do that,  People  made that happen.  They did it for the benefit of the Rhino to transport it to a new habitat.  They did it to make the world a better place.
Today,  I came across something else that makes the world a better place.  Taco Bell has a new Taco,  in which the Shell is made of  a GIANT TACO SHAPED DORITO.  It is delicious, But why is it just now here?  Doritos have been around for a long time,  and so has Taco Bell.   Its like that Movie Serendipity when John Cusack's character and Kate Beckinsale's Character kept  missing each other.
Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack Eventually hooked up, and finally, DORITOS and Taco Bell are  together.  How many times in my life have I eaten a Taco at the Bell, and later on the same day had Doritos, but never made this simple connection,  This beautiful, fabulous, wonderful connection?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Upside down Rhino

There is a picture in National Geographic of a Rhino hanging upside down by his feet,  presumably from a helicopter.  (The Helicopter is inferred)
A Rhino is a Big Ass stupid animal with a Horn on it,  kind of like a Unicorn except real and a lot bigger.
It was someones job to make this happen.  I love that.  I love that Man is capable of hanging a Rhino upside down from a helicopter.   (they were doing it to move him to a better area)

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Butter is Good

Admit it, life is better when there is butter.  We don't have enough Butter,   everyone agrees life is better when there is butter  yet I feel like there is not enough clammoring for it... Is Butter taken for granted?  I think it might be.  Bread with butter on it becomes toast.  Hot women rubbed in butter is better than simple Hot women.  Butter on top of a steak is the difference between an Applebees and Ruth Christs.

Manning or Tebow

So maybe no one else will say it..... But Damnit,  If Peyton Manning goes to Denver,  that will piss me off to no end.
Here is my problem with that scenerio:  For one,  If that happened,  there is no doubt that Peyton would deserve  to be the number 1 Q.B.  He is just better that TEBOW.  My second problem is that Elways's promise that  Tebow would enter the offseason as the number 1 QB would be bullshit.-
Finally, even though I used to live in a suburb of Denver,  I am still more of a Tebow fan than a Broncos fan.  Hiring Manning would be great for Denver,  but not so much for Tebow.
Plus, The NFL would lose an awesome Storyline,  which is why in the end Denver was just raising the price for eitherMiami or Kansas City.