Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Pondering things sharks may think about

Sometimes I wonder about sharks and the Ramore fish that suck on them and partake in all the shark's kills.
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I know the Ramore fish has a symbiotic function for that shark, but does the shark also sometimes think to himself. "FUCK this little Ramore fish that is always sticking to my underbelly and creating drag in the water while I am trying to swim and attack seals and stuff?"
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Does the Shark sometimes ponder: "Yes, I get that the Ramore fish cleans off bacteria and seal guts from me." " I get that the Ramore fish is generally pretty harmless to me, but you know, other then the belly cleaning and the seal flesh particle maintenance, it also creates drag on my sharkness"
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Not all sharks have Ramore fish clinging to them. Do the Sharks that do have Ramore fish sometimes think, "where did I go wrong to have this Ramore fish sucking on my underside?" " I just wanted to be a shark and do shark stuff, but now I have this pain in the ass Ramore Fish constantly messing up my water-dynamics"
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Do any of the Ramore fish ever get a big head and think they have a say in what the shark is doing? do some of the more controlling Ramore fish think they have a right to tell the shark how to be a shark?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I-pod help

Technologically I tend to struggle a little bit. I am not a complete idiot, but its real close. It was hell for me to figure out how to put a tracker in this blog, but I figured it out and got it done. Here is a link to that drama http://stuffyouthinkyouneed.blogspot.com/2008/04/who-really-invented-internet.html I know there is a way that I could have somehow made a shortcut instead of putting the whole link in this post, because I have seen other bloggers do it, I just don't know how to do that myself and believe that illustrates my point very well. Smart enough to link it up, not smart enough to do it smoothly. One step above idiot. Like an idiot but with some promise.
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Twitter was something that came along, and I finally got on board with that (not so much for me to twit, but more to read other peoples tweets.) Urban Meyer and Dwight Howard now send me updates on Gator football and Magic Basketball. The site says my photo is to big to go in the Twitter home page so I just used a picture of a little cartoon guy but other people somehow know how to get photographs down below 700 mbs. (whatever an Mb is, I just think its less then 1 gb which is what my photograph is)
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Face book is new to me, I just signed up this weekend and I don't get all those tricks yet, but I am muddling along with that as well. Bill the muddler....
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I bought my daughter an I-pod and we downloaded some songs for her, but we also somehow downloaded a recorded statement I took from someone for my job, Didn't know we did it until she texted me the other night.
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DAUGHTER: Daddy, I was listening to my I-Pod and you are on there talking with some lady about her house. how do you take it off?
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ME: I have no clue, Not sure how we put it on there, and have no idea how to take it out
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DAUGHTER: OK if you figure it out let me know.
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ME: Ask you mother, she is smarter about that stuff
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DAUGHTER: She is asleep
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ME: Sorry...
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DAUGHTER: I love you anyways....
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She didn't really say "anyways" but that was how It made me feel, like I somehow let her down
So Internets: Please coach me up on deleting stuff from an I-pod..... Help me? can you delete stuff directly from an Ipod? or does it have to be hooked up to my computer to find it and then somehow delete it from there?

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Really old photograph

Holy Cow! -- I finally broke down and joined Facebook. One of the guys I went to college with had a photograph from our college days from around 1987 ---- WOW. I actually remember when we posed for that photograph.
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I am the one with the Flannel shirt on and the two brooms leaning on my legs. (Broom ball was a sport like hockey, only you used a softball as the puck and taped up brooms as the sticks, and you did it in your sneakers instead of skates)

Game 2 of the EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS

I am front running with the best of them on this NBA playoff situation. Big Magic fan here right now. Watching that stuff, and reading about it, and analyzing it, and going to some of the games etc.
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It has captured my small little mind and I am totally into watching it as long as the Magic are on board.. Having them go up against the LEAGUES MVP and the team of alleged destiny, only makes it that much more exciting.
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Having clarified all that, tonight was as fine a sporting event as anyone will ever see. The Magic were down by 23 at one point in the second quarter, but with about 1 second left in the game, they were up by two. ----Kid you not, ==== and I am about to start using the "F" word quite a bit because the remainder of this post basically calls for it.

THERE IS A FUCKING In bounds pass to LeBron "FUCKING" James" , who basically just catches it and then turns around and heaves it for a three point shot. As the ball is flying through the air, and the 48 minutes are clearly up, The magic have won this game. Except there is a rule that once time expires and if a ball has already been shot, then whatever happens with that ball, the game is effected if that shot should hit nothing but net. This type of shot is sometimes referred to as a BUZZER BEATER.
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So after 48 minutes of basketball tonight, the Magic were winning. After 48 minutes and one second past that time period, The magic had lost and LeBron had carved a notch into his legend.... Watching it though, it was inspiring even though the bad guys won. What Lebron Did was so AMAZING and so FUCKING AWESOME , you cannot help but be in awe and totally appreciative. Even if they are going at it again to break up the 1 to 1 tie.
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I hope to be there
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Know who took that last fucking shot? Only the best FUCKING basketball player in the whole r FUCKING World. Like it was some kind of a script. I can hear Spielberg now: " Lets have ORLANDO beating the CAVALIERS and LEBRON FUCKING JAMES till the very last second of game two, and then lets have LeBron JAMES win that bitch with a buzzer beater from three point land. Lets write it up like that. Lets pretend like LeBron can walk on water. HELL. lets pretend like he is the greatest athlete of all time and lets have him get his last FUCKING shot off just before the buzzer on the back of the board goes off, so the ball is IN THE FUCKING AIR AS TIME EXPIRES!!!! but then as the ball falls down due to gravitational forces, lets have it RIP the NETS like a hot knife through Melting ass butter. Like its that balls JOB.
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Speilburg's breath is running short now because his adrenaline is rocking out of his ass:
" That would be so COOL. All the fans in the QUICKEN LOANS ARENA can start jumping up and down like Mexican Jumping beans and all the ORLANDO MAGIC PLAYERS can stand in the background with there JAW dropping down to their chest, simply thinking to themselves, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" and why the hell is Steven Speilburg filming all this. =
Kid you not, here I am thinking that the Magic will go up Two Nothing AND come back Home to play in Orlando but NOOOOOOOOoooooo. Stupid Fucking lebron James getting all LEBRON JAMESY on us. Getting all: "LET ME BUILD MY LEGEND" as you magic fans watch on T.V.? The bad side is that the MAGIC lost, the good side is that I was a "witness" to his Lebronness, even if it was just on the T.V. ---Kid you not .... Exciting ass shit tonight...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

No matchup for Dwight Howard

As the fans file out of Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland tonight, they know they saw some basketball played at the very highest levels. LeBron James had 49 points, but the Cavaliers lost. Dwight had a double double and ORLANDO came out of there with a 107 to 106 win.
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I dont really follow the NBA-- but being a front runner kind of guy and this being a front running situation, plus living about an hour from Orlando, I jumped on that bandwagon in the past few weeks. Even went to Orlando and saw Game 4 against the Celtics.
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Seriously some of the top athletes in the world banging up against each other with 2 of the 5 best players in the world on opposite teams? Playing for the right to go to the NBA finals? Sweet couple of hours of entertainment right there.... Go Magic
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I follow Dwight Howard on Twitter, and he had this to say just a minute ago:
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Win!!! We take game one. Let's go!!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Jessica Biel has problems

Jessica Biel says its hard to get good roles because she gets typcast. Her problem is that she is
to good looking. She has some classy problems. Seriously, what if that was your big problem in your life. You are just to damn good looking. We all suffer Jessica, We all suffer.
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She probably has to worry about where she is going to put all her money as well.




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At this point in her career, Biel said she's looking for more serious roles, ones that will stand out among her previous performances in films like "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" and "Summer Catch." The beautiful Biel knows, however, that with looks like hers, such substantial parts may be hard to come by.Read more: "Hollywood actress Jessica Biel says being hot is 'really a problem'" - http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/05/19/2009-05-19_being_hot_is_really_a_problem_says_hollywood_actress_jessica_biel.html#ixzz0G0CxFkQE&A
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Jessica you are Hot though so even though you get some silly roles and stuff you do have that rockin body going for you...

Monday, May 18, 2009

Boobs


Sunday, May 17, 2009

Baseball and Dali

- Took my kids to the Dali museum and then the Rays/ Indians game yesterday.

My son was not into the art much. He only got yelled at by the security guards once, although it was two seperate security guards. I figure since they were both reacting to the same thing, I am counting that as one incident. My daughter and I were facing the wall Looking at the painting and my son was behind me doing gymnastics over the railing thing.
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Baseball was all about 5 dollar cokes and 7 dollar buckets of popcorn. My son was upset that a stranger sat next to him, and wanted to sit in the middle, with me on one side and his sister on the other. I know that is a recipe for disaster so it was vetoed, so then he decided he wanted to leave - it was the first inning. We stayed till the last out though. Rays Won 4 to 2

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Farrah Fawcett

In 1976 when I was 10 or 11 years old I had the Farrah Fawcett poster in my room and I watched Charlies Angels on one of the three channels. She was my first crush and now she is not doing so well. I was shy as hell about girls, even though I was already fascinated by them.
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Girls you actually had to talk with were not really in my wheelhouse then, but Farrah was this beautiful woman that looked back at me while wearing that bathing suit with that smile and that hair and I loved her.
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Hope you keep up the good fight Farrah.


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Cancer is such a bitch.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Monday, May 4, 2009

An Intricate Machine that is life.

Sometimes I look at my life and I am amazed. Not because its any kind of awesome life or anything, but because I look at this huge intricate machine that provides for all the other moving parts that circulate around me and realize that the wheels have to stay greased and the timing has to stay in line and the alloy of the moving parts has to keep going against the forces of nature to achieve the desired outcome.
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Its a big old complicated operation and so far, in general it has been able to do what it needs to do to support my two kids the ex wife and me. Its a precarious thing though and I am constantly on the lookout for gum getting in the gears. There are gum throwers out there, they are like my dragons and those dragons must be dealt with but not all of them can be slayed, some need to be domesticated and used for good. Like that dragon in Shrek that had a crush on the Eddie Murphy Mule.
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I don't always understand how it works but know that it does. I have no idea what E=MC2 is mathmatically, but do know that it means I can't time travel and that nothing can go faster then the speed of light and I know that working dragons for good can, and must be done .
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