Thursday, May 29, 2008

Where is the Cheers type of place here in Downtown Miami?

I think every single guy should have a bar, not that you can't have a bar as a married man, I just think having a bar as a single guy is slightly more important. I am not talking about owning the thing, but about a place you can go to get dinner, have a few beers, watch some T.V. and maybe its a place where they know your name.
Like Cheers was for Cliff, Norm and Frasier.
It's not as easy finding the perfect place like it was for Cliff, Norm and Frasier though. You can't just turn on the T.V. at 8 p.m. on Thursday nights and be there, like those guys could back in the late 80's. Because Cheers is in Boston, but pretty much everyone in America could view that place back in the day when that show was on prime time, and you still can, if you have as a channel on your cable system.
Finding this bar that you can call your own is a brutal process. There are so many variables about having the perfect bar, that are completely out of your control. Its like finding a relationship with a woman. Not any woman will do, and not any bar can suffice. You want the woman to be smart, and you want the bar to be close by. You want the woman to be attractive enough, and the bar can't charge to much for their drinks. You want an equal as a woman to have a relationship with, and your bar should have a television, probably multiple televisions, HD would be nice. The bar should "get you" and the woman should do the same. Its a two way street though. To have a relationship, you should "get" her as well, and understand and appreciate her. Just like the bar should be a place that the bartenders know you by name, the woman should allow you to be you.
The perfect woman does not exist, but guess what, you probably arent perfect either. This by no means, is an excuse to settle, not with the woman, or the bar, but you should be a big enough man that you can except some baggage that comes with either a relationship, or the bar you call your own.
Maybe the woman talks a little to much, and maybe the bar occasionally plays crap music. Maybe the woman is always late and that drives you crazy. The bar might slightly overprice their drinks, but remember, you probably also suck in some ways as well. You might be a bit to anal about stuff being in the right place, or maybe you think way to much about football. Maybe its you that actually talks to much? She might be stunningly beautiful and you, not so much, but she likes you because you are funny and have a huge personality. Just saying, allowing for give and take is part of the process, but again, that is in no way an excuse to ever settle on either the bar or the relationship.
Right now I am currently seeing three different bars on a relatively regular basis. All three are close enough that I don't have to drive my car to get to them, which is good on the occassions when I imbibe to much, and all three of them have flaws as well as huge upsides.
They are all on the golf course right now, metaphorically speaking, so not any of them are in the clubhouse with a score to beat. The current leader is one that I go to the most often. It has a relatively well priced menu for both the food and the drinks. It has two hot looking bartenders that know me by name. It has the requisite Televisions and it is a fun place. Not only that, but there are a few regulars that hang out there that amuse me in conversation. They know me and I know them. We aren't necessarily friends, but we do kind of hang together to some degree when we are at the place at the same time. Here is the problem with this bar however, It closes on Saturday and Sundays, how messed up is that? to be fair though it's primary deal is as a lunch place for working downtowners. It also has a primarily male clientele, which I am not knocking, but the perfect place would have more women hanging out then this particular bar has.
The second place contender to become my bar is also within walking distance, so that is a plus. The bartenders are all dudes, but they are cool and funny and they also know me by name as well as my beer of choice. This particular place is also very upscale and has a killer location, an outstanding view of the river and awesome food. In fact, the food is better then the leader, which brings me to the negatives with this place. It is the most expensive of the three. It is primarily a place to get super nice dinners, so it doesnt have much of a regular clientelle. The bar here is more like a place to wait rather then actually hang out and have a good time.
Finally the Sergio Garcia of the three places. This place has so much potential but much Like Sergio Garcia is the best golfer to have never won a major, this place is the best bar that just doesnt quite get it. This place has the most women hanging out, which is a huge plus, the food and drink are also reasonably priced, plus it has cool music and outstanding atmosphere. You would think this is the winner but it is also to popular, I know, that sounds like I am being picky but its more of a scene then the other two places are, and it just doesn't feel like a place you can be a regular at. Its louder then the other two bars, mostly because its more popular, which again is a plus and a minus. It is also the farthest away. I can get there by riding the train that goes through my building and around down town and then on to Brickell though, so its not a deal breaker.
I need a regular bar and place to eat most of my dinners , as this cooking business is not cut out for me. I just can't figure if any of these are going to be the one, I dont want to be to picky but I do know what I like in a bar. Its a process though and I will hopefully eventually figure it out, plus who knows maybe there is a journeyman golfer hanging out in the back of the pack that will make its move on some future friday and storm the field and win the tournament. Life is full of surprises.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

No, I am not Paris Hilton, or as a second title, you could call this the post about a photo book of Gainesville.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, I am sure a question often comes up in your minds. Is “Bill from Gainesville” really Paris Hilton? Short answer, I am not, however I get how you might think that.

Paris lives in the world. You may see her being followed by Paparazzi in L.A. one day, NY City the next, the day after, it might be Las Vegas. She lives everywhere, just like me, except, You know, completely different. While she is jet setting between NY, LA, Chicago, and Vegas, etc. I am driving my car between Miami, which is my home, to my other home, Gainesville.

She is Paris HILTON, I might as well be called; Bill LAQUINTA.

She gets to stay free at any Hilton in the world. I get to stay free at the LaQuinta in Gainesville on every tenth visit for one night. She is Beautiful, So yes, I see how you could make the mistake of thinking I am actually her.

Part of what we Jet Setters do is blog about our various Cities that we live in. I once wrote a post about how similar I am to Tiger Woods and it ended up being a shill for a coffee table book of Historic Photos of Miami.

This post is similar to that post, in that I am not really a professional golfer, nor am I an Heiress to a hotel chain. I will tell you about an Awesome book that Turner Publishing sent me for free, only asking that I write a post about it.
Their website is and the book is: Historic Photos of Gainesville.

This past weekend I saw it on the shelves of Borders, the one on Newberry road, right across the street from the Red Lobster and just down a bit from the intersection of I-75. You can get it there, or you can order it from Amazon. It is such an awesome book.

Page 55 has a picture of Newnan’s lake. We used to go down to that very same lake when we skipped school during my High School days, only we didn’t wear suits with funny little hats and stand on Cut logs, nor did we help over dressed ladies into cutout canoes.

Page 57 has a picture of Hogtown creek at the point where today, 34th street exists. The belt I am wearing right now came from the Benchmark that is on that very corner. The place had a lot more trees in 1905, not that there aren’t still tons of them, I mean the city is called Tree City for a reason.

Page 85 has a photograph of Holy Trinity Episcopal Church taken in 1905. In 1991 it would burn down, but in the rebuilt version, my daughter was baptized in 1997 and my son in 2001.

Page 135 has a picture of what later on becomes the Seagal building, circa 1925, it wasn’t called that then and wouldn’t be completed until ten years later. The guy who started it went broke, kind of like lots of developers of high rises here in Miami today.

The corner of University and 13th street looked a whole lot different in the 1920’s then it does now. My college Fraternity, Sigma Alpha Epsilon was located on that corner then, now, there is a Holiday inn, a Leonardo’s Pizza and the wall that announces the campus of the University of Florida. (I was an SAE, just not at U of F) This photo is on page 139.

Page 148 has a picture of Florida field from 1931. It looks a lot different then it does now. In 1981 and 1982 I played High school football on that same field, and my wife who I didn’t know then, played clarinet during halftimes of her High School’s games when they played city rivals.

During football season I often tailgate right by the Century tower. A picture of this bad boy circa 1955 is found on page 194. (thats my thumb, I know sexy, just like Paris' thumb)

The book looks awesome on my coffee table. It would look good on yours as well, especially if you are a Gainesvillian. Coffee tables need coffee table books, and besides, men don’t wear hats like they used to either, so having a bunch of photos of old time dudes wearing hats is just an absolute bonus.

Finally, when my parents first moved to Gainesville we lived in the Flavets. I was two years old and found myself living on a college campus, partying with coeds, discussing Sartre and Machevelli and economics and stuff, you know living the life. Now the flavet village has long been gone, a dormitory exists their now, but that place accross the street from right field of Perry Field is still home to my very first memories (probably towards the end of my stay there, when I was about five years old)

Monday, May 26, 2008

My out of body experience on Memorial Day

As I was cruising down I-75 in the middle lane of a three lane stretch of the highway, heading back down from Gainesville to Miami today, the car in front of me had a blow out of the left rear tire. This caused the driver to swerve over into the left lane, then back across all three lanes, and back into the middle lane as it did a complete 180 and stopped, facing the wrong way on the south bound lanes of I-75.
Their was an 18 wheeler in the right lane next to me, and that guy layed on the brakes. Smoke was coming from his wheel wells. I also put on the brakes as quickly as possible, and as I did so, I looked into the rear view mirror, hoping that the people behind me were paying attention. I knew I was going to avoid smacking the blown tire dude, and I was only hoping that the people behind me were not going to whack me.
All worked out well. For a second or two as I was completely stopped in the middle lane of I-75 facing southbound, while staring at a car that was in the same lane as me, also completely stopped, but facing Northbound, I just stared. It seemed to have happened in slow motion.
The driver and passenger of the car got out, kind of walked around the vehicle in a dazed and zombie like looking way, and then people started going around on both the left and right lanes. The 18 wheeler had gone by the vehicle as it was happening, he would have been unable to stop if the guy had ended up in that right lane, instead of the center, and this would be an entirely different story. No one was hurt, but in the 15 seconds or so that it went down, and the other 30 seconds or so that I was sitting there, traffic behind me already started backing up horrifically. This was the end of a holiday weekend and the road was super congested as it was, but now this
was going to add hours to people's trips that had left only a few minutes later then I had.
Me? I went around on the right side, but as I did so, I stopped next to the guy, rolled down my window and told him how awesome his driving skills were. The fact he didn't run in front of the barreling semi, or flip the thing was a nice piece of skillful driving. I gave him a fist bump and took off down the road. As I was doing so I thought to myself, should I try to help? I could see what needed done. they needed to have one of the guys basically stop all three lanes of traffic (it was already stopped for them, they just needed to keep it stopped for a few minutes.) Then they needed to limp the thing off to the side of the road, let the three lanes of traffic go on their way, change the tire and continue on their travels. It would have taken about four minutes of my time to have coordinated all that for them, at least the part of it where they have their car over on the side of the road. It always takes at least thirty minutes to change a tire on the shoulder of the highway, and it involves lots of cursing and stuff, as well as sweating when it is done in Late May, in Florida.
In the end, it was a car accident that wasn't. It was some drama for the guys in the car with the blown out tire, and no doubt, the Semi truck driver had his heart racing as well. For me, it was kind of an out of body experience, I swear it happened in super slow motion and as I was reacting, it was like I was observing everything in a very unattached manner. Like it was on T.V. or something, as if there was no chance of me getting steel on steel action with the guy, in fact, my most vivid memory of the whole situation was looking into the rear view mirror and completely hoping the people behind me were paying attention. I knew I had no real control over that part of the situation and as I saw them braking, a calmness came over me. Bizarre trip down to Miami today. That trip is such a part of my life right now, both ways, every three weeks. It has provided me with my first ever out of body experience. Happened by myself on a stretch of that road, just south of Ocala Florida.
Rick, thank you for the link!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Gordon Gekko has his line, Moe's has theirs

Here is a picture of Gordon Gekko, I have been contemplating his line "Greed is good"

I am buried in the making of the widgets that I make, and will also be driving 332 plus miles today. Maybe even more, as I might have to see a man about a horse while on the way. I am pretty sure I will be hearing another famous line in addition to Gekko's.
Tonight when I am having dinner with my kids, the people behind the counter will say: "Welcome to Moes" There will be Burritos and taco's and some silliness I am sure.

Thursday, May 22, 2008


Lets be fair to life. We all know life itself isn't fair, but that doesn't mean we can't try to be fair to her. My last post kind of intimated how bad she can suck. Okay, I think I basically came right out and said she sucks. She is also a beautiful and wondrous thing. Life has balance. She can throw some nasty stuff at you, like Brandon Webb did during his nine game winning streak for the Arizona Diamondbacks, and she can also lay out a beautiful night in South Florida, with peanuts, a few beers, a cool breeze and a single digit stroked into Mr. Webb's loss column.
Last night it wasn't to hot, there was a decent enough sized crowd, maybe 18 thousand. Cody Ross, who started in Center field, kept throwing warm up balls into the stands between innings as souvenirs for the fans, and then in the bottom of the fifth, just for good measure, he hit one into the stands as well.
Before that, the Marlins pulled off a suicide bunt, which you just don't see in the major leagues very much.
Out of one hundred and sixty two games to be played by the Marlins this regular season, this was only one. But damn if it wasn't a good one. Not just the game, which again, was awesome, but the whole experience. Listening to the fans rag on the Diamondbacks Right fielder, (and Justin Upton, just for the record I don't think that guy really slept with your mother last night) Eating some peanuts and the obligatory ball park dog, drinking a few Bud lights and just chilling. Life was good, and I was living last night. So she is not all filled with suckiness although in her truly balancing way, I am betting Brandon Webb didn't enjoy it as much as I did.
One more thing, Ricky Nolasco who started for the Marlins, and Brandon Webb both had some weird facial hair. It wasnt a beard, but they had hair on their chins but without a mustache to go along with it? Whats up with that? Is there a name for this look? Why?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Old stubbie ponders juggling

I am like a juggler. Except I am like a puppet juggler, in the sense that my puppet master is really in control, because I am just a juggling puppet. The roll of puppet master is played by the character called life. So, I juggle because I have to. It's not that I can't juggle, I am a damn good juggler, its just sometimes I feel like my particular puppet master is a sadistic bastard.
Puppet Master is all like: "Here Bill, juggle these chainsaws." and I am all like: "Dude if I make a tiny mistake while juggling a chain saw I could seriously hurt myself." then Puppet master looks me directly in the eye and says "Yes, so you better not make a mistake." See how direct and harsh she is?
Anyways I juggle because its what I know. I juggle out of habit and I juggle because I have responsibilities and not living up to those responsibilities would be a worse fate then ending up accidentally catching the running chain side, of one of the saws I have flipping around in the air.
Here is the problem though, Puppet Master has had me juggling chainsaws intermittently now for awhile, except I only recently noticed her hand up my ass. For awhile I never realized I was just a puppet. Sometimes when I am juggling bowling pins like a normal juggler, I think to myself, what would happen if I didn't catch one of these pins? It would fall to the floor and I would stop being a juggler and Instead, I would just be a guy who throws stuff in the air and watches it fall.
Anyway, as far as everything goes, I feel like we are building up to a Crescendo here pretty soon and because of that I find it hard to concentrate on the chainsaws flipping through the air all around me, Yet know that I must. I find myself unable to sleep at nights, unable to enjoy the stuff you are supposed to enjoy, and feeling sad about that loss. It's very easy to have a positive attitude when everything is good. When they keep throwing chain saws for you to juggle, then your life becomes kind of a caricature of itself, because you can have no life, all you can do is concentrate on the chainsaws. If you somehow let yourself get distracted from the chainsaws for even a little bit, then you might find yourself with a stub for a hand.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sports with the professionals

Last night, this topic came up, what professional athletes have you played sports with or against:
* Vernon Maxwell was the starting Q/B on our 12 year old pop warner football team until he broke his arm. (I moved from tailback to QB after that, and we won the 12 year old City league that year) Vernon later played for years in the NBA, winning some championships, fighting with some fans, failing to pay his child support.
* When Emmit Smith was in the first few years of his contract with the Dallas Cowboys, he came back to Gainesville during the summers to finish up his degree. While in Gainesville for those summers he played on my Men's league softball team. He is now the all time leading rusher in the NFL and a damn good human being as well, although his ability as an announcer on ESPN needs some help.
* In 1982 Palatka High School won the state football title in the 3A class. They had a running back named John L. Williams, who later went on to become a first round pick out of the University of Florida by the Seattle Seahawks. In High School, he was only held for less then 100 yards one time that season. My team was the opponent. I tackled him allot that night, but only one time by myself, I hit him face mask to chest, driving forward in what would be a perfect form tackle, except, instead of knocking him backwards he ended up running me over and I hung on to his legs as he gained about five yards while he kind of just tripped over my body and my efforts at tackling him.
* I once pitched a two hitter in an 11 to 1 ten run rule win in a high school baseball game. One of the hits however was a Home run hit by Ricky the Rocket Nattiel, who later on, would be one of the Three Amigos in Denver, for the Broncos, play and score a touchdown in one of the early Elway Superbowls. (as a side note the other hit by them that day was by a kid that went on and played a little Minor league professional Baseball, his was a ground rule double)
* Chris Doering caught about two Touchdowns for the Redskins and has also hit a home run off me, although I don't feel as bad about it as the Ricky the Rocket home run, because the various bombs Doering hit were when we were playing coed Softball.
* I have Occassionally played Golf with Casey Weldon, who, while at FSU, was the runner up for the Heisman Trophy the year Desmond Howard won it, and who went on to play several years in the NFL, as well as the Birmingham franchise in the one and done XFL.
Thats it, Professional athletes I played sports with or against, some before they were Professional athletes and some after.

Monday, May 19, 2008

How I met Your Mother Live Blog at Midwesterner is going to be live blogging this seasons final episode of "How I Met Your Mother" tonight, beginning at about 8:15 pm. This is a good show, he is a witty fellow, it should be fun, I encourage you to go to his website tonight and participate. I will be commenting, because thats just how I roll, watching sitcoms on a Monday Night in May, with a computer, probably a glass of milk as well. Just clean wholesome fun.

Jumping out of a plane

Friday night, I was talking with a fellow who was also at the Case Law Seminar, he was one of the lawyers from the firm. We were talking about one of his dreams. He wants to parachute out of a plane. The twist though, is that he just wants to do it. He doesnt want to have to go to a class, he doesn't want an instructor to have to strap on to his back. He just wants to get a parachute, put it on, go up in a plane and jump. He said even if it was a super hot woman jump instructor, he still doesn't want to do it any other way then just by himself. He really feels like lawyers and lawsuits have messed this type of stuff up. He even has a personal friend that flies planes suitable to jumping out of, and that guy wouldn't even agree to his crazy ass idea. He told him he would draw up the airtight hold harmless agreement himself. Bottom line, because of our suit happy society it would appear you can't just willy nilly jump out of a plane without first taking some kind of a class, and even then you would probably have to have a guy strapped on to you as well. -- Your Jumping out of a plane type of living is miles behind your swimming with a pack of sharks in chum infested water type of living. That, you can sign a release and do, but jumping out of a plane without going through a bunch of bull first? Not so much.
It's part of the times we live in. If we lived in the year 1898, you could just jump out of a plane whenever you wanted to, of course the catch is, they didnt have planes back then, but even if it was 1932, you could easily just hire a guy to fly you up and then jump out. Its because we have so many lawyers and laws and regulations that we have all these problems just jumping out of a plane without first taking all kinds of classes and stuff.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The WNBA preview article

This weeks Sports Illustrated, the one with Danica Patrick on the cover also has a WNBA preview article within.. Exciting stuff I am sure for my man in Tennessee!!

An ode to an Old ladder!

My old ladder, just busy taking up space in my tiny little loft apartment.

Tile Ft Lauderdale

A few days ago I ran accross a post in someone elses blog that seemed similar to issues I have with my McDonalds. Billy has a love hate relationship with Egg McMuffins and the franchise that is close by, just like me.
The premise behind tileftlauderdale is that the author has these tiles, and she paints them and then leaves them out in the world for people to find. Its absolutely a brilliant hobby. I so look forward to one day actually finding one. In fact, I tend to make sure I read her blog more on days that I know I am going to be in the Ft Lauderdale area. Click on this link here to see what I am talking about

Another post about a ladder

A blogger friend of mine has a post up about HIS ladder, and his ladder is really awesome as well, Please go read this post


A friend of mine from Gainesville sent me this video. Funny stuff.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Don't take it for granted. Live your dreams.

Athletics, Art, Music, Acting, speaking and Writing, ultimately, when they are done at the very highest levels, it is inspiring. To be good at any of that stuff you have to want it, and you can’t take it for granted. You have to have some talent to be sure, but you really need to have a passion and a zeal for it.

I saw Urban Meyer speak last night about the upcoming Gator Football season, but that speech was about so much more. It inspired me, and it moved me, and it made me think. I spent $73 dollars to attend the event, every damn cent of it worth it.

It was two speeches in one, or you could say it was one speech, with an underlying moral message within itself. It came at you on two different levels, It was about football, but it was also about life. It was about passion and it was about the struggle we all face and what makes you successful as a football player, but also about what makes you successful as a person.

He started off explaining how after the end of last season with the very disappointing loss to Michigan in the Citrus Bowl, he was down. He said it made him physically sick the way the fourth quarter of that Michigan game ended up.

He went on to explain how Nike has a cruise they offer to the stable of Nike Coaches. He didn’t want to attend, he wasn’t in the mood, he was pissed off and he just didn’t feel right about it. His wife, Shelly, who, by the way, is absolutely beautiful, insisted that they do. He told us how that cruise and the things he learned, changed his attitude. And he told how he brought back that perspective to the team.

I am going to paraphrase Urban Meyer here in this paragraph and this quote as well, It was by a coach who lived around the turn of the 1900’s named Yost. “when you start taking things for granted, if you don’t have the love and compassion and enthusiasm you will not be very good” You have to love the struggle. Meyer also quoted Vince Lombardi, and again I paraphrase: " A man feels best when he finds himself laying on the field of battle, exhausted, having given his all and ending up victorious.” Both quotes are about football, but both quotes are really about the struggle we all face in our lives. Ultimately you have to embrace the difficulty, that’s why Ray McDonald is in the NFL right now, because that kid worked, when he found out he had blown out BOTH ACL’s and the doctors were telling him he was through. He didn’t quit. He worked. He embraced the struggle. It was clear Meyers message was about not taking anything for granted. Just don’t do it, appreciate what you have and work your ass off to achieve more. Don’t settle, demand greatness, live your life and live your dreams.

His speech also emphasized how Football is a part of life and it acts as a magnifying glass. If you play football half ass, you will not only lose, you will get hurt. It’s such a beautiful sport with its objectives and its roadblocks, strategies and how the physicality is so brute, but so beautiful. Urban Meyer talked about how He gets to run out on that field in front of 95 thousand fans and that he is living his dream. He made it clear that the players realize how lucky they are to be able to
do what they do, and that he will damn sure, make sure that they will realize not to take this for granted, so they will work.

When its 95 degrees out and the players are working their asses off, that’s about the struggle, that’s about not taking anything for granted. He told of the first five years of the SEC Championship game. Florida was in it EVERY year, After the 5th year, they won the National Championship. During the next ten years the Gators found themselves in the SEC championship game only twice. It is hard when you are on top to come back and not take stuff for granted. Urban pointed out what made that coaching job by Billy Donovan so awesome. The second year, if that team doesn’t win the National title game, it’s a failure, talk about pressure. Billy Donovan calls it “the team having its edge.” As you may know, that team did win during the second championship season.

You could tell from Urban’s speech this upcoming Gator Football team will have an Edge. He said that in all his years coaching College Football "THIS offensive line may be the best he has EVER seen." let me just repeat that word: EVER. EVER EVER EVER. They are 9 deep. He talked about the running back position and how Chris Rainey will text message him to let him know that he is up to one hundred and seventy eight pounds. The kid came in last year at one fifty eight. He ran a 4.2 forty yard dash, and was the star of the spring game. He loves that kid because that kid is living his dream and that kid understands what a special opportunity he has to be great.

He talked about the wide Receiver corp. That unit starts off with Percy Harvin. Isn’t he only the finest wide receiver in the entire country? That Defense has 7 solid Defensive backs, a solid Defense all filled with hardworking humble and grateful kids. I am telling you, Urban Meyer is very confident in this upcoming team. He is focused and his confidence just oozed out of his very pours. The whole room took on an aura about it. It was inspiring.

His description of Tebow? He said in his opinion he is the Best FOOTBALL PLAYER he has ever seen. He made it clear that he doesn’t necessarily think he is the Best QB, just the best FOOTBALL PLAYER. He didn’t come out and say it, but his speech made it clear that this will be a Hungry football team with loads of talent and he doesn’t expect to lose this year. Let me
say that again, He told me non verbally to be sure, that he does not expect them to lose. He never said that in words, but you know what, communication is only 7 percent what we say and the other 93 percent is non verbal. He said it by how he said it, and what he talked about. He said it with his tone and he said it by what the message was all about. He said it by what he didn’t say. I never heard the words, but I feel it in my very DNA. This is a good football team, and those kids will understand how beautiful life is if you seize the opportunities it will provide. I can tell you this, its One Hundred and seven days till kickoff of that first game. I am already starting to get fired up about it, and that was even before last night. I love College Football in general and I love the Gators specifically. Damn straight, that was a good night for sure.

plus as a side note, there was this Green stuff in a gravy bowl. Turns out, you put it on your skirt steak. Even that was awesome and something new for me, and I will never take a green looking spinachy thing in a gravy bowl for granted again. I mostly looked at it and wondered, until another Gator fan coached me up on it. Know why I am not going to take that for granted? Cause I got the message from Urban. Don’t take anything for granted. Embrace the struggle. Live your dreams.

Rick, thank you very much for the link!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The longest lunch EVER

Yesterday, I had lunch with a Beautiful Puerto Rican Woman. Except, instead of just lunch, we spent the whole afternoon together. I had met her on Friday Night, e-mailed her back and forth on Monday, and Tuesday we took the all time longest lunch together. We basically just blew off the whole rest of the afternoon. Then we went out for dinner last night, and now here I am looking at all the work I was supposed to do Tuesday afternoon, plus all the work on our regularly scheduled Wednesday. Bummer thing is, I cant really work late today because Urban Meyer and I have been planning on hanging out tonight at the monkey jungle, and I wouldn't dare disappoint him. I am sure he would be crushed if I told him I couldn't make it. He so looks forward to hanging out with me and talking Insurance.

Also, as just a side note, if BPRW asks for "Sheese" it means Cheese, and when we are talking about focus, its not a request to fuckus at all.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Ladders, oh joyous Ladders!

I have a new ladder. This isn’t just any ladder however. This is a special magic ladder. It is kind of like the equivalent of a Superhero Ladder. If Superheros had alter egos that were inanimate objects, then my ladder would be the Clarke Freaking Kent of ladders, until it broke out into its Superman self of a ladder, that’s how awesome this ladder is. Looking at it all compact and carryable, anyone could easily mistake it for a mild mannered thing that fits in the trunk of an inconspicuous Chrysler Sebring Convertible. You can just look at it and see that its deeply in love with Lois Lane, but get it out on a house, give it a phone booth somewhere and take off his glasses and BAM, My ladder is all stretched out and is getting me on roofs with a little Swagger, a little style.

Look at it, all small, compact, just blending in with the coffee table and my Photo book about Miami. (remember that post?) He has his little safety stickers on his side, his little safety catches underneath. He is writing a bland story about the recent run up in grain prices in his cover job as a reporting ladder. But let truth and justice get sullied, or at least let an insured have some damage to his roof, and VOILA, that bad boy turns into a fourteen and a half foot, Ladder of Steal, or at least some type of metallic Alloy.
Look at it stretched out to 6’10 inches or so, and it has another five rungs I left all closed, just out of shear laziness on my part. This ladder is the BOMB. It’s about Style and it’s about convenience. It’s about more then that though, it’s about all that is good in the world. It’s about building a better mousetrap and me being the guy who has mice, and then I beat your door down because, you made a better mouse trap. You aren’t mad at me for beating down your door though, because you have such pride in your telestep ladder. Mice Fear you, women love you and I climb up on roofs, and when I use you to do that, My chest will be sticking out just a little bit fuller, my climb will have just a little bit more rhythm. This is about all that is good in the world. This is the post about my ladder. My brand new, fresh out of the box, never been climbed on before, ladder. It truly is StuffIthinkIneed which is a lot like Stuffyouthinkyouneed, only from a slightly different perspective.
Here is a photograph of the Ladder Model that came on the box. Ladder modeling is a small niche in modeling, and is often a stepping stone to mice trap modeling. It’s a cut throat world though, and sometimes Ladder Models get invited to Beach Volleyball competitions only so they can put up the net, you know, cause they have a ladder. It can be devastating for the ladder model because he thought he was going to play volleyball with hot chicks, and then all they want him to do is put up the net. Many a ladder model has ended up on the streets after this type of rejection among the modeling world. All homeless, carrying around their ladder, begging for small change.

This is the type of ladder that makes grown men wear Red pants, with Red suspenders and Black shirts. The same grown men will hold a ladder in one hand and waive bye to mice with the other hand, all while smiling the happy smile from the joy and happiness that this ladder brings. Will you look at this Georgia Bulldog loving Ladder model, with his red and black, his goofy grin and his cocksure way about himself? Doesn’t that just bring shear joy to your heart? I know it does me!
Here is the same Georgia Bulldog Ladder Model demonstrating the awesomeness that is this ladder. Look at him as he walks along side the red box with his ladder, then suddenly evil is spotted and in just a few easy steps we have transformed our little easy to carry ladder into a mice killing MACHINE. Look at how Marvelous this thing is!

Unfortunately, shortly after this scene was shot on the side of the box, our Georgia Bulldog ladder model went insane, he was mumbling how regular clothes wearing models don’t take Ladder modeling serious, and then he took some super models hostage. He had them in the second story of his home, mumbling something about the tragedy that Herschell Walker has 7 different personalities. Luckily though… the swat team came prepared.

They had their own ladder and they are using it to fight crime and save supermodels from deranged ladder models dressed in Georgia Bulldog colors. Let this be a lesson for you, ladders are for doing good in the world.
Rick, thank you for the link!
SCG, thank you for the link!

Monday, May 12, 2008

a big week with toast and probably Philadelphia Cream Cheese

Big week coming up, Urban Meyer will be in town, I am having dinner with him on Wednesday. It will be Urban and me, and a thousand or so other people, all who paid around 80 bucks for the three course meal. It will be cool to hear what he has to say about the Mighty Gators.
Thursday is a pre-trial conference in my divorce. I will just talk with my lawyer about it afterwards, as she said I don’t have to show up for that one. Good thing, because Thursday Evening I am going over to St. Petersburg for a conference that is an all day Friday type of deal. I will probably hang out over there on Friday Night, Then get up Saturday morning and head on back.
I still wait on my ladder. Stupid ladder, come on Big Brown.
It was ordered on May 6th. It should be here this week. What if I am in St Petersburg for that conference, eating hotel toast, when it arrives on Friday? What if they get here with my ladder and I am not here to sign for it? The lobby people that work at my building would probably accept it but then when I didn’t pick it up till Sunday they would stress about having a box laying around. But it would be a small box I am sure, that’s what makes this ladder so cool. You can put it in your pocket and then just pull it out like you are the living embodiment of George Jetson. Remember when he had his whole car in a briefcase? That’s like me and this ladder, sort of, cause lets face it, it weighs 27 pounds and I have man sized pockets but I understand it might be a slight exaggeration to be able to put a ladder in your pocket?
Anyways, we will cross that delivery receipt signing issue when we pass it, and besides, I have been thinking about toast a lot lately. Its time I get myself a toaster. I never wanted my own toaster. I liked sharing a toaster with that lady I used to live with. But soon, I will need some toast. Sure, I have had toast since I have been out of the house, but not home made toast. I have been getting restaurant toast. Restaurant toast can be better then homemade toast but eventually you just want your own homemade toast, in your home. I am a grown man. I can have a toaster all to myself I guess, but still a toaster seems like the type of thing you share with a family. Single people can have toast also I guess, but I was just putting it off till, well I am still putting it off, but I am thinking about it a lot lately. So maybe this week we will eat dinner with Urban Meyer, get closer to being divorced, have some fun at a conference, get a new tricked out George Jetson ladder, and also a toaster. Big week coming up for sure, what with all the future toast eating that may be going on. I think I will buy some Philadelphia cream cheese also, you know, to spread on my toast? Big week for sure.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mothers Day with no Mom this time

This is My first Mothers Day without a Mom. My Mom died on November 4th 2007. We weren’t really close, As far as Mother Son relationships go, but still, she was my mom. I didn’t approve of lots of the choices she made in her life, except for that one time when I was born. That was a good choice if you’r asking me. That was a great day, getting my shot at a life and all, no complaints on that decision, and I am grateful to her for that.So Mom THANK YOU. Do they read blogs from the dead?
She and my Dad, and My Mom’s Dad, discussed abortion. My mom was only 18 at the time, same with my Dad. Back then it was illegal to have an abortion, but My Grandfather could have made it happen if My mom had wanted. So thanks Mom, I certainly appreciate the shot.
I know the end wasn’t easy for her, They morphined her up and then also gave her some drugs for the psychotic episodes. She was in Hospice for about 2 weeks. On November 3rd I held hands with her while she slept in that drug induced haze. We watched the Florida /Vanderbilt game. The next day I came back, but when I opened the door to the room, she wasn’t there. For a fraction of a split second I thought they had moved her, but then I realized of course, that was not what happened.

We had her cremated, and then her boyfriend didn’t want me around for any type of memorial, so I think he and my Uncle just spread her ashes in the yard.
Last Mothers day I bought her some flowers and took her to lunch. When I got back to my crummy little apartment that I was living in at the time, My wife had her father dump all This furniture from her crappy little business on my front yard.
I am pretty sure no one is going to dump furniture in my lobby this mothers day, so I have that going for me. I set my kids up ok, so they could take care of their mother. I think I will have a Sunday of chilling. Just Chill Bill sans Mama.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Little Boxes on the hillside

When I am done watching this Dvd and then I have to decide if I am going to just wait till the next season comes out in June or if I am going to buy Showtime so I can watch it as it comes out? I dont know what I am going to do. That song that opens up the show called little boxes on the hillside? Thats a great song also.


Okay, Nancy is the character played by Mary Louise Parker, she is married to a DEA agent, for business purposes only. She met him because her kid, bit his kids, leg. They don't live together because no one knows they are married, well hardly anyone, her business partner the black man who thought up the grow house angle, he knows. The thing is, this show started out, season one episode one and then each episode builds and builds and builds, until your whole mind is blown away when you are watching the second half of season two like I am tonight. I kid you not. I am an Old man, been around watching T.V. for a long long time. This show might be the best show EVER, of all time. EVER. I am not going to waste the stuff for those that haven't done it yet, but you MUST RENT THIS SHOW... Seriously Trust me, its just outstanding T.V. -- they live in a suburb called Agrestic. My head is going to explode its so good... I love the writers of this show

Season two of WEEDS is just good T.V.

Tonight, I am watching the last few episodes of season 2 of "Weeds" Netflix is telling me some bullshit that I have to wait till mid June for season 3 to come out. Ughhh, How am I going to do without the goings on in Agrestic for a full month? Whats up with the MILF weed? Each episode just builds on the prior episode. Damn straight, this is good T.V.

Gator Nation finds some shame today

Imagine you have a beautiful daughter. Imagine she was 21 years old, going to college and one day she was on the back of her boyfriends Motorcycle when it crashed. Both her and the boyfriend died. You grieve and mourn this loss which is absolutely beyond comprehension. Unimaginable, is how I would characterize that loss as a parent. Devastating.
Six months later you discover that someone has been using her credit card beginning the day after her death? The boyfriend was a walk on Gator Football player. One of his friends was Jamar Hornsby, a safety and special team player on the Gator Football Team. He evidently helped clean out the apartment the day after the death. It would appear he also helped himself to a credit card that wasn't his. I have experience with people stealing credit cards from me, So I understand the huge amount of hurt and sense of betrayal and how violated it makes you feel, but to do it with a dead persons card? Jamar, that is just Evil. Good for Coach Meyer kicking him off the team. It is just shameful what he did to that girls family. Besides, Hornsby wore number 7, which is also Cornelius Ingram's number. Before that, Danny Freaking Wuerffel wore that number. Its sad for Hornsby also. He has screwed his life up for three thousand dollars or so. It just saddens me for everyone. I think about the dead kids, the families, even Jamar. He screwed up and deserves the punishment that is coming his way, but its still tragic and its just so very stupid. UGHHHH

Thursday, May 8, 2008

The beatdown or the pick me up?

I keep on trying to figure it out. At some point, don't you feel like you should just kind of understand how life works? Its like this, if you made it to middle age, Not only should you be wise, but you should also understand women by now? Why do pretty women still get me flustered? and its not even just the young ones, Its basically the youngsters in their late twenties, all the way up to the mid forties. A woman that is my age, and that understands herself is pretty awesome to behold.
Sometimes I wonder if Gay dudes end up that way just because its easier then trying to understand women? I can certainly appreciate that perspective. I mean, I don't appreciate it enough to actually go gay or anything, but I guess what I am saying, is that, if its easier for you to do all that Gayness, then try to figure out women, I can at least understand where you are coming from. Not my choice, but I understand the perspective.
Anyhow, I am not in a good position to blog about stuff because I am feeling a little bit beaten, It comes and goes, and I realize I am a moderately ok dude, and eventually everything will all work out, but sometimes the rejection and the beat down just gets tiring. And yes, I do appreciate the other times when it is all good. Life always tries to balance everything out for you.
Don't let the beat downs phase you to much, and don't get to full of yourself when all is well in the world.
Also, my mailman left me a bag. Can you believe that? Its a plastic bag that you put groceries in and they are asking that I fill it up and place it by the mail room. They will then pick it up and send it on to the various homeless shelters etc. I will participate, but still, Opening your mailbox, and finding only a plastic bag? It's just depressing. Its like Charlie Brown always getting rocks in his Trick Or Treat bag.
Its especially frustrating because I just bought a new ladder online, and I am waiting for the delivery. So every day I am thinking I will have a note in my mailbox, asking me to come and get my new AWESOMEmcAWESOMEY Telescopic ladder. and then today? All I got was a rock in my trick or treat bag. I guess it serves me right though, for getting excited about a ladder? who does that? I promise it will get its own blog post once it is shipped though, because this is my blog and that ladder is really cool to me, and even though It is not lost on me how stupid and geeky it is to get excited about having a new ladder, that's also part of who I am so I will share...
It is a ladder that will fit in my trunk and when I pull it out and do all that telescopic stuff with it, I will be able to get on a roof in shear style. Now, I have this huge ladder that wont fit in my trunk. Its a fold out,but I still have to carry it around in my back seat. That is going to be over so soon though, and when it is, we will celebrate that day on this website. I need you to look forward to the delivery also maybe I should get some little hats to give to the UPS guy? some of those little blowy things that stretch out and whistle?
Rick- Thanks again for the Link!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Shane Falco

That's it, the whole post is Shane just standing there. A guy who was a replacement player. If only he hadn't gotten hurt in that last College game of his. He may be Keanu Reaves to you guys, but in my heart he will always be Shane Falco. Study this, let Keanu, become Shane in your minds. Pretend like the character that is Shane Falco exists.


I added a Tebow Picture to my blog, If you dont look for it though, you might not see it, It is huge though ,and it is towards the bottom of the page and it makes me proud to be a Gator fan.

Hello, My Name is Bill, I havent had McMuffins from the crappy McDonalds next to my condo now for 10 days

I have not been to the McDonalds that is just a block or so away from my house since the day Spike Lee sort of yelled in my vicinity. I do realize its one day at a time for me with that particular Mackey Dees, however.
The convenience of it being just a block or so away is a huge aphrodisiac. Having a McDonalds ready to give up the Egg McMuffins so close to your house is not for the faint of heart. I am like a recovering crack addict living in the middle of the Bolivian cocoa fields. I have to get up every day and not think about it. Most days, its easy. If I catch a beer Buzz or if I feel the need for a greasy Egg McMuffin on a hang over, that's when I may be in trouble. Just consider this part of the post where I get up in front of you and tell you: "Hi, My Name is Bill, and I haven't eaten at the disgusting McDonalds right by my condo for 10 days." Then you say: "Hello Bill"
This is not to say I haven't had McDonalds in other parts of the world for breakfast in the past ten days. Most McDonalds don't disgust me like the one next to my home . Most McDonalds are just a part of the back drop that is our lives. As you drive around they are constantly zipping by in the background. In fact here is a particularly cute McDonalds I noticed the other day on US1 near Coral Gables:

This particular McDonalds happens to be on the corner of US1 and wait for it.....MCDONALD Avenue. Unfortunately I do believe a McDonalds on McDonalds only tends to amuse me and then I make a big deal out of it on my blog and people say what the heck is wrong with that guy?
You may not be able to read the sign in the picture below this paragraph, but if you put your pointy arrow thingy on the photo and double click it, that will make the whole picture big enough where you can read the name of that street. I took the picture of the McDonalds while sitting in my car and then the picture of the sign shortly after that, just after the light had turned green. I wish I could have had both the store and the sign in the same photo, but I think it would have required that I park the car to figure that out.

Also, my flowers died so I got some more. $13.00 from a guy on the side of the road. Miami may cost an arm and a leg for most stuff, but they certainly give good flower value. That same set up would have easily been $27.00 up in the North Central part of the State. Of course up there parking is generally free, so it probably all evens out.

Quite a few of you sent me comments about finding some better analytic software, and I thank all of you. Blogger and I are still together, we just decided we would only have a Platonic relationship and she wouldn't have to give up the analytics part since it was such a stumbling block for her. I will still post and we will still hang out, but I wont be pestering her for analytics anymore. I have another site now that is taking care of that end of my blogging needs. Its not the main focus its just kind of like a friend that provides benefits. Blogger and I are also just friends now and the tension has completely left the room, I don't think I have to make myself a Bomb ass website now after all. I can just continue with this setup.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

You have to earn it

Old James Ryan: Tell me I have led a good life.
Ryan's Wife: What?
Old James Ryan: Tell me I'm a good man.
Ryan's Wife: You *are*.

That's the last lines in the movie Saving Private Ryan. The old James Ryan was visiting the cemetery and looking at Captain Millers cross. Captain Miller ended up being shot in the process of achieving their mission of getting Private Ryan out of the war zone.
I was thinking about that because Private Ryan was at a cross roads the day Captain Miller was killed. Private Ryan realized all the sacrifices that were made so that he could be sent home. He was told by Captain Miller (Tom Hanks Character) to Earn it, to live a good life. -- So towards the end of his life, Spielberg puts us at that graveyard, and the elderly James Ryan asks for reassurance from his wife, He wants to know if he did earn it.
No one died to get me to the point I am at in my life, but I do feel a burden. A sense of having to earn a good life from here on out. The other life I had, which ended up being so miserable in the end, is still the life I knew, I believe I was basically earning a good life before it all got derailed. I still have this feeling in my mind that if only a few things could be changed it could have been a wonderful life. Its not to be though, It frustrates me, because to this day I still cant make any sense of it? I still ask the same questions and wonder the same incredulous thoughts and have the same anger over the details of what went down.
Anyways, My life is what it is now, Bill Parcells will tell you your record is what you are, and I am trying my damnedest to adjust. I cant tell you that I am a family guy, because even though we all want to be 13 and 3 or something like that, I am more like the Dolphins, in that I am clearly a one and fifteen squad right now, and my family, they live in Gainesville. I am a little beaten down, a little weary from the ride. I am the coach of my team as well as the GM though, and in a few years I hope to be back in playoff contention. I will get better at being an every third weekend dad. I am not cut out to be Single forever.
The Dolphins aren't always going to have a losing record either. For now I guess the rebuilding process is kind of exciting. Who is my Jake Long? and seriously, did I just reference my future Girlfriend as a 315 pound left tackle?
I'm like a kid playing with fire who ends up with burn marks all over him. I truly am a pyromaniac, but I'm kind of a dysfunctional pyromaniac, one that's afraid to play with fire.
As far as your average pyromaniac goes, that would suck to be afraid of fire. I am like a vegetarian that deep down, knows I should be sitting at the meat table, cutting off huge swaths of roast beef, dipping it in Horse Radish Sauce and washing it down with Prime Rib. its just a messed up situation. I am a married guy living a single mans existence, right now the exotic vegetables are a treat, but please, how long can you eat salad?
So in the end, when I am that old man, how will I look back on my life, Will I have earned it? or will I be a depressed beaten down single guy moaning and whining about how unfair life is? I can tell you this, until a few years ago, I was climbing that mountain very well, thank you. it was getting better and better, but much like a rock climber that falls, you hope you are able to get back up that mountain. I started climbing the mountain with my wife and even as we re-climb it we will be doing it together, in a separate sort of way, if that makes any sense. because of our children, I want her to have the right ropes and the right equipment. I want her fingers to grip on to the crevices well, and to a degree, we will each be tied together with safety ropes. You hope the learning curve helps speed up the process. You hope Jake Long doesn't turn out to be the next Tony Mandarich. (Mandarich was a number two overall pick who didn't do anything much in the NFL except have some really cool tattoos, if you are into that sort of thing)
In the end, what I make of my life from here on out needs to be better then what I had been working on before it all completely disintegrated. And its my fault for letting it get that far, If I would have stood my ground and insisted on how stupid everything was the first time I had to pull out 10k from our 401k, maybe things would be different. Some day when I am old and looking back, will I think of the time between now and that far off distant day as a struggle? or will I eventually look at this transition time and whatever happens, as a blessing in disguise? Will my relationship with my kids be strong? Will I ever own a house or a condo again? Will we ever find a quarterback, Is Jake Long the next Mandarich or is he the next Jonathan Ogden?

Monday, May 5, 2008

Dig in and take your cuts

I drove about a bazillion miles between Thursday and Monday, Hit some bombs on the golf course and then also embarrassed myself out there as well. Golf is always like, "If you hit a good one, you owe me a stupid one." At least that's the way golf is with me. Its an awesome game that totally sucks. Its absolutely one of the greatest joys in the world to be out on the course with your buddies, a few cold brews, maybe a cigar on a sunny day. Especially on a weekday. Hit a few down the middle kind of deep, get full of yourself, then hit a few in the lake. Stupid golf.
Saw my kids on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. They are doing well. We went bowling on one of the days. I think they got the sucky bowling gene from me. We saw the movie Baby Mama. My Seven year old was bored, so about every five minutes he would whisper , Lets go Daddy. My daughter and I thought it was a funny movie though, and I recommend it. Also I don't recommend taking your seven year old.
Talked to my daughter about the Myley Cyrus scandal. She had not heard of the controversy until I told her about it. Her take as a Hannah Montana Fan, and eleven year old is that they should just leave her alone. As we were discussing it, we talked about Jamie Lynn Spears being pregnant (I guess she already had her baby now though) She said she had some friends whose parents wouldn't let them watch Zoey 101 anymore after that news came out. We also brought up the movie Juno. At this point My Daughter is still a kid, but all that stuff is terrifying to me. Especially since I probably wont be around as much as I would like to be when she does finally start dating boys. She has a good head on her shoulders though, and is certainly smarter then the run of the mill 16 year old boy, so she has that going for her.
Listened to the "Last Lecture" on the drive back to Miami. Very good book. Its about a professor that has been diagnosed with Terminal Cancer and he talks about his last speech that he gave. The speech itself is about Life, and tips on how to be. Its worth the 18 bucks. and it might occassionally make a tear run down your cheek.
Ultimately you need to be self aware, and that's whether you know you suck at Golf, If your kids are never going to be on the professional Bowling tour, or whether or not your daughter is going to stress you out of your mind when she is a teenager.
Life is full of 90 mile an hour fastballs, and lots of them will get blown by you, but you have to dig in that batters box and take your cuts. Even if the long commute from Gainesville to Miami, and the knowledge of what you are missing is like getting hit in the elbow with a 90 plus mile an hour heater. Stupid Baseball, Stupid Golf, Stupid Life. The fact is though, I will still be in my kids lives even if it is not as much as I would have liked. And hearing about someone else who has a much worse fate in dying at such a young age while his children are 5, 4 and 1 is what puts all of it in perspective. My High School Coach used to tell me to not even acknowledge it hurts. Just run down to First. So thats what I do. Occassionally though you do want to spit on it a little and rub it in.
Rick, thanks for the link

Sunday, May 4, 2008

The Complidig

The other day I told someone about my blog and gave her the URL address. The next day, I spoke with her about some other things, but during our conversation she brought up my blog. She said something close to the following: "I liked your blog, your kind of smart, you would never know." -I thought that was an outstanding dig! Its an art to dig on someone in such a creative way! That is both a complement and a dig at the same time. There should be a word for this, and I think that word should be Complidig. Compli, from the word Complement, Dig from the whole word dig. (Pretend like I was breaking some stuff down from the Latin) I take no offense . I enjoyed the humour, and in reality, I am actually not very smart, I am pretty good at bullshitting though. In my mind, I was thanking her for the blog post material. Plus, I was playing golf when we had that conversation, She was working. Pretty smart of me to get out on a beautiful day like that day was, and play golf. Plus, I won a 25 dollar Starbucks gift card in the after tournament raffle. She was working. Did I mention I was playing Golf, drinking beer, telling lies and basking in the glory that was that day? I was truly LIVING. I think she was working.

Thursday, May 1, 2008


Driving quite a bit today, then tomorrow, driving so much more. Lots of it in order to do part of my job. Lots more of it to see the two people I made. Two different types of driving. At some point today someone will complement me on a two hundred and ninety foot portion of one of my drives, tomorrow though, It will just be the radio and my lower back.
Okay, maybe it will only be two hundred and seventy five.