Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mothers Day with no Mom this time

This is My first Mothers Day without a Mom. My Mom died on November 4th 2007. We weren’t really close, As far as Mother Son relationships go, but still, she was my mom. I didn’t approve of lots of the choices she made in her life, except for that one time when I was born. That was a good choice if you’r asking me. That was a great day, getting my shot at a life and all, no complaints on that decision, and I am grateful to her for that.So Mom THANK YOU. Do they read blogs from the dead?
She and my Dad, and My Mom’s Dad, discussed abortion. My mom was only 18 at the time, same with my Dad. Back then it was illegal to have an abortion, but My Grandfather could have made it happen if My mom had wanted. So thanks Mom, I certainly appreciate the shot.
I know the end wasn’t easy for her, They morphined her up and then also gave her some drugs for the psychotic episodes. She was in Hospice for about 2 weeks. On November 3rd I held hands with her while she slept in that drug induced haze. We watched the Florida /Vanderbilt game. The next day I came back, but when I opened the door to the room, she wasn’t there. For a fraction of a split second I thought they had moved her, but then I realized of course, that was not what happened.

We had her cremated, and then her boyfriend didn’t want me around for any type of memorial, so I think he and my Uncle just spread her ashes in the yard.
Last Mothers day I bought her some flowers and took her to lunch. When I got back to my crummy little apartment that I was living in at the time, My wife had her father dump all This furniture from her crappy little business on my front yard.
I am pretty sure no one is going to dump furniture in my lobby this mothers day, so I have that going for me. I set my kids up ok, so they could take care of their mother. I think I will have a Sunday of chilling. Just Chill Bill sans Mama.


Quin Browne said...

i'm not sure what is harder, losing a parent you love, or losing one you aren't so sure about. i have that to look forward to..

i think, perhaps, it's the things left behind... the issues you know are never settled, or, in my case-- the knowledge you are 'loved', but never liked.

you made me cry, bill from gainesville.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Quin, My mom made her life hard on purpose although she didnt think of it that way. She was a flawed human being, Just like me, only I am flawed in different ways and rarely TRY to make my life harder for myself except for the times when I am to busy making my life more difficult then it has to be.