Monday, May 12, 2008

a big week with toast and probably Philadelphia Cream Cheese

Big week coming up, Urban Meyer will be in town, I am having dinner with him on Wednesday. It will be Urban and me, and a thousand or so other people, all who paid around 80 bucks for the three course meal. It will be cool to hear what he has to say about the Mighty Gators.
Thursday is a pre-trial conference in my divorce. I will just talk with my lawyer about it afterwards, as she said I don’t have to show up for that one. Good thing, because Thursday Evening I am going over to St. Petersburg for a conference that is an all day Friday type of deal. I will probably hang out over there on Friday Night, Then get up Saturday morning and head on back.
I still wait on my ladder. Stupid ladder, come on Big Brown.
It was ordered on May 6th. It should be here this week. What if I am in St Petersburg for that conference, eating hotel toast, when it arrives on Friday? What if they get here with my ladder and I am not here to sign for it? The lobby people that work at my building would probably accept it but then when I didn’t pick it up till Sunday they would stress about having a box laying around. But it would be a small box I am sure, that’s what makes this ladder so cool. You can put it in your pocket and then just pull it out like you are the living embodiment of George Jetson. Remember when he had his whole car in a briefcase? That’s like me and this ladder, sort of, cause lets face it, it weighs 27 pounds and I have man sized pockets but I understand it might be a slight exaggeration to be able to put a ladder in your pocket?
Anyways, we will cross that delivery receipt signing issue when we pass it, and besides, I have been thinking about toast a lot lately. Its time I get myself a toaster. I never wanted my own toaster. I liked sharing a toaster with that lady I used to live with. But soon, I will need some toast. Sure, I have had toast since I have been out of the house, but not home made toast. I have been getting restaurant toast. Restaurant toast can be better then homemade toast but eventually you just want your own homemade toast, in your home. I am a grown man. I can have a toaster all to myself I guess, but still a toaster seems like the type of thing you share with a family. Single people can have toast also I guess, but I was just putting it off till, well I am still putting it off, but I am thinking about it a lot lately. So maybe this week we will eat dinner with Urban Meyer, get closer to being divorced, have some fun at a conference, get a new tricked out George Jetson ladder, and also a toaster. Big week coming up for sure, what with all the future toast eating that may be going on. I think I will buy some Philadelphia cream cheese also, you know, to spread on my toast? Big week for sure.


scg said...


Going through a divorce is like
having your wisdom teeth removed - through your ass. It hurts for a very long time. And it hurts the guy more and longer than the women. There are several stages a man gos through. Guilt, trying not to be angry, being angry, learning to enjoy being single, forgiving, falling in love again, getting married again.

The hardest part is when you try to not be angry. You got to be angry. Not a harmful anger. Just let the emotion out and don't resist it. Then move to the forgiveness stage.

And losing your mom sucks too. No matter what her qualities.

Buy yourself a damn toaster. The biggest, best manly toaster you can find, and enjoy the hell out of it.

Trust me. It won't be all that long before a guy like you is married again, and if you play your cards right, to a woman who will make you wonder what you ever saw in your ex.

So, enjoy the single bachelor days now my friend.


Brian in Mpls said...

I love me some toast.. I don't know how you are surviving right now

Quin Browne said...

pain is relative.

the people who hurt the most are the children, and i always offer this--wear the white hat. never open your mouth about the momma or the daddy around them, and i don't care if they are working the pole or not paying child support and you are burning furniture.

redwood puts off a good long heat...

i am anxious to see this magic ladder.

personally, i ordered a new shirt from

i am addicted to them, and one day will remember i am a grownup, and should stop wearing tshirts and jeans.

one day.

i agree on the toaster. heck, buy the one that lets you make four slices at once.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Some Cranky Guy-- "having your wisdom teeth removed-- thru your ass" Thats as descriptive a metaphor as I have ever heard about the thing. Except I would add,- sometimes it feels like instead of just yanking them out thru your ass the sadistic dentist kind of just pussy foots around with it a little to make it more excruciating.
Brian, I have had toast, I just have it at resteraunts, at home I have toast with out the toast part. I call it bread though
Quinn. -- I agree with you, not that I havent said stuff about my wife in front of my kids. I just dont do it anymore.... ...

Native Minnow said...

Enjoy your toast. Put your ladder on will call, and then you can just pick it up from Big Brown when you get back, and don't have to worry about it being sent back (since they only make three delivery attempts before doing so).

And sorry about the loss of your mother, even if I am six months late in expressing condolences.

Tere said...

I actually prefer home toast to restaurant toast, since at home I can stalk the toaster and put the butter or cream cheese right when it *dings* and not when it's hard and cold.

Also, SCG, I love you and all, but I'm going to disagree on divorce hurting the men longer and worse. I would say women are better at facing and dealing with their feelings, but the hurt... it kills us, too.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Minnow- gotcha on the three times, but it ended up getting delivered on time and yesterday so no worries
Tere first of all I think its funny the language you used in talking about "stalking" a toaster that is exactly what happens though and I love that analogy, I also stalk the microwave when I am popping popcorn because even though there is a "popcorn" button. sometimes I think it doesnt know what the hell it was doing and must have cheated its way onto the face of my microwave. Its like a Math student getting a job as a math teacher but can only add some of the time. -- Secondly, I have no idea who hurts worse, the man or the woman in a divorce, but I know it sucks for me. thats my only frame of reference on it.