Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The first quarter of 2008, and a summary of why I blog

Here I am looking out that massive ass window of mine. The thing is huge, it’s six foot five , by six foot six, and it’s the little fellow out of the two windows I have in my Apartment. It looks out over the downtown high rises to the south, and it is my window to the birds and the clouds, and the sun in the day, and the stars and the city at night. About half my job entails me sitting here and writing on this computer that I also happen to use to blog with, so I look out this window allot.

The Centrust building* is Purple tonight, as I type out this post, all alone in my high rise loft apartment. It’s been that way for four days now. (not me being alone, the color of the building) It probably knows I have been hanging around my LSU friend and his buddies for awhile, so it silently mocks me for all those gutsy fourth down calls old Les miles made that 2nd October Saturday night of late last year against My Gators.

It’s only been a few months since I moved to Miami, but it seems like a lifetime ago that I had a residence in Gainesville, and decades before that, when I lived in that big suburban house on top of that hill, with my two kids, wife, dog and cat.

Back then, I had a job that paid me for leading people and taking on responsibility. I evidently just couldn’t lead my family.

I also had that Free Cell phone that never bothered me at 5:30 in the morning to tell me where I could look at Porn.**

There was Tech support if my computer crashed.

The checks were regular and came every two weeks. The car I drove was owned by the company and they also threw in a gas card. Yet the stuff going on outside of my control within my family life was killing me. Do you hear me? How do you shout in a blog? by just using a bunch of exclamation marks? Well then here !!!!!!! I wondered when it was all going to come crashing down. We fought and argued and I just never understood. I couldn’t ever figure out the things that went on around me in my own home, and was so very afraid to talk to anyone on the outside about the cancer that was infecting us.

I destroyed all that though, and although I am not going to act like I did it on purpose, I will tell you that it’s probably for the better. Don’t get me wrong, I still wish the phone I have
to pay for wasn’t so worried about me seeing porn all the time, And acted more like that other phone, where the minutes were always available, and the bill went somewhere else. I miss that
allot. THIS JUST IN: Cell phone bills going to other people that then pay them with money that is not yours, is a great thing to have.

I miss so much about where I used to work, mostly because it was a good job, based in Gainesville and It sucks to live five and a half hours away from your kids.

Today, after nearly a quarter of a year living in Miami, I am doing ok, if not great, and I am in control of my own time. Its like they say: having people work for you creates stress. Being in control of your own time and schedule and only being responsible for yourself can work wonders on your overall attitude about life. I have also laid down my first quarter of blogging as well.

Blogging is a new hobby I started during the transition from moving to Miami. So for this quarter, it has been a new thing I do. I worry about it sometimes. I desperately don’t want to suck at it, and I know sometimes I do. But I do it because I like it as an avenue to express myself. I do it to keep my mind sharp and think about stuff. Sometimes I think about Stuff I think I need, but really, I made it this far without whatever it is that I am thinking about, so I am pretty sure I don’t need any of it anyways. The best example of this is a boat, I so need a boat, and really the LAST thing I need is a boat.

Most of my blogging so far, has been stuff that I think is kind of funny, but sometimes, like right now in this very post I can use it as an avenue to reflect. You know why? Because it’s My blog that’s why, and I can do what I need to do and write what I want to write about, and its just a little part of me. Don’t get me wrong, on this either, I totally love that my hit counter has been growing as I go along, and I love that I am somewhere, creating something that people waste there time at reading while at work, instead of doing whatever there job is. Midwesterner in New York and Zombie fights Shark did that for me, and they still do. But now I can pass it on.
If you don’t blog yourself, you may think it is easier then it really is. Trying to write a post every day that doesn’t suck, is not really all that easy though, and caring about people that are goofing off at work is part of who I am. I know. I have written some sucky ass posts. I haven't had hater comments yet myself, but I know they are out there because I read good blogs written by witty people that just let it hang out and I know how it works. Some
day I hope to have a large enough readership to have my own haters.

I do it to stay close to my friends that don’t live here in Miami. Really, that’s the reason I started it, I waited till it had some legs to it before I really told anyone in the real world, but truth be told that was my biggest reason. I do it to keep in contact with them. There is Mr. and Mrs Cuban and the Quick draw brothers as well as Superman, the Vacuum and Huizenga. There are so many others that I haven’t given secret Blog identities to and I don’t want to go into all that, but some of them I went to College with, and some have had their own posts where I fuck with them about how much Women's college Basketball they know about. This just in to his Sisters: He would have called you tonight, but LSU is playing Carolina in the Final Four.
There are others, I just haven't laid down a way to identify them without you know, identifying them. I also enjoy staying in contact with my Ex-wife to be,--- Although when I first started it, I didn’t think about that at all. In fact, somehow I kind of figured she would never find out about it. I love her very much, even though I ALSO…

Never mind, there is no time to get into all of our problems, and this isn't the place. And you and I, we have some serious business together to raise those kids as best we can, with the issues we have. So just remember, I am sorry.

I have met some wonderful bloggers that live throughout the country because of this new hobby of mine. My Man Brian in MPLS is smart and witty, and he reminds me of a younger me. Same thing with the Native Minnow, although he cuts frogs and worms open for a living, and that’s pretty gross. Didn’t he see my post about what the Japanese are doing with See through frogs? I think all Biologist should be working on this angle. The world NEEDS see through frogs.

Phoenix Hearse lives a pretty awesome life and she will tell you about it in her blog if you will just read it. She is witty and smart and things she sees are really kind of amusing. The Hedonist is my first Bulldog friend, and I understand she is not a friend, she is just like the rest of them. They are people I don’t know who don’t know me, but whom I personally kind of admire for their ability to write a witty and amusing blog that touches me on some level and those levels are different, both across the blogs and within their own blogs from post to post. Some Cranky Guy is also a good read, and South Florida Daily Blog is truly awesome. Sailor Moon doesnt post as much, but when she does, she also makes me laugh. I am still trying to work off that pesky midget.

I appreciate what they do in putting it out there and they are the types of people that if we knew each other in the real world I do think we would be friends. I leave you on this. My world has changed over the past year. During the last twelve months I no longer work at the job I had for nine years. I no longer live with my wife and kids. My mom died, my dog died, I am going through a divorce, I cant seem to pitch a softball for strikes anymore to save my life. Angelina Jolie Never calls, they still cut open frogs even though the Japanese have made a super frog with see through skin, and through all of this, I would say the happiest I have been in a long time is right now. Here is to the past quarter. Hope the next quarter rock and rolls as well.
* I know its the Bank of America Building, I just prefer to call it the Centrust building.
** This refers to an earlier post. If it doesnt make sense to you, read that post, it was in March .
All the Bloggers I mentioned can be found on my sidebar under the heading blogs Iread and then dont feel shame walking home the next day.


Ian Thomas Healy said...

We all need to take stock of our lives now and again. It seems like you're doing well, considering all your recent adversity. I commend you for it.

I may not be blogging nearly as often as I used to (hey, give a guy a break - I've got three blogs and a daily webcomic to keep up), but I'm trying to keep them all balanced as well. I hope you'll count me in that group of bloggies as well.


Brian in Mpls said...

Bill you are a great guy. I can relate to the working too much and letting everything else go to shit piece. It sucks but two years out of it I realize it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You have a great mind and great heart don't ever worry about sucking.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Ian,--- Definitely
Brian, Thanks! I am pretty sure that worry is part of my DNA though.

PhoenixHearse said...

Huge kudos to you. It's been a year now since The Husband and I separated (the divorce followed shortly after) and I have to admit that I'm JUST NOW starting to move on.

The Charming Hedonist said...


Just because you're a Gator doesn't mean you're bad people. Wait, that's exactly what it means....


You seem like you're in a good place. If you make it up for Georgia-Florida in October, shoot me an e-mail and we'll grab a drink....so long as you're not wearing orange or blue :)

ManningStalker said...

Inspiration. That is what Mr. Bill brings to this blog and cyberworld of ours. He gave us inspiration in those years where he didn't have to pay for his phone, and he continues to inspire us now. That's cause he is LIVING BRO'! Hell, he even inspired me to actually create a username so I have an identity. Hmm, I'm actually somebody now. Good grief, Bill inspired me to be somebody !!!!!! Thanks Bill! P.S. Before I became somebody I was just lazy Tim from previous posts.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Phoenix --- I will move on and I also will never move on. Its some real ZEN shit to think about that, in fact I am constantly going around swiping rocks out of peoples hands....
Hedonist. --- I will not know till much closer if I will be at the Cocktail party or not. Generally I am going to be there, unless I am not. If my weekend with my kids falls then I wont. otherwise I will.... But if I do then TWO things. 1) I will buy the beer, and 2) This just in, Herschel walker doesnt have any more eligibility.
Manning Stalker-- I knew that was you by just reading the name. I am a gator fan, and even I have man love for the dude and I have always known you were even beyond that. and remember always appreciate the Non Porn advice special phone that YOU have.

Native Minnow said...

How about see through fish? Would you settle for see through fish? Yes? Good.

Ha! Got you. They already have those. You can get them at just about any pet store.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Minnow. See my post of Feb 13th, they really do have see through frogs already, Maybe they are not in stores yet but they are in Japan supposedly.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like life is mostly good, with some really sucky parts. Just like me! At least I'm not alone, and that is nice to know. Don't beat yourself up aout the whole not being able to lead your family thing...ever hear the saying, "Dont' walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend"...can't say for sure, but a religious motif maybe, or just a family telling the leader to stop leading...it's not where you go, it's not how you get there, it is about who you share the journey with that is most important. Learn that and next time will be more fun, no matter where you end up!