Monday, March 17, 2008

The Morbidity and Mortality Conference

She's dead, She came in on a Friday afternoon all full of hope and swagger and I think at some point, early in the morning on Monday, you just have to face up to the fact the weekend is gone. Its the re-birth of the work week. Soon enough the very real business of earning a living will once again be upon us, but for now, lets evaluate the causes and minutia of what was.
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As most weekends do, they start after work on Fridays. Sure there is the occasional four day weekend, The special holiday weekends, The grandaddy weekend of them all, that Thanksgiving weekend that usually starts on Wednesday afternoon, but this was a regular one and it began on Friday.
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My nostalgic look back on it, saw it begin with some wine. Generally most weekends have that Friday Afternoon Draft beer feel to it, not this one, this one came in with the red Grapes. I have always been a fan of the First Beer on a Friday Afternoon. Its special, it just tastes better. It has all the things any other beer has, the barley and the yeast and hops. It also has the possibilities of what can be. It will work the same for Wine though, the glasses you have then are just a little more refined, a little more grapey as they say. To be honest I had maybe just a little to much wine that day, but I didn't stay out, I put my flirt in with the Brazilian, and I went home and watched a rented movie. I would tell you what movie it was, but its kind of Gay that a grown man rented it, so lets just say it was a little chick flicky and leave it at that. (not that there is anything wrong with that) *
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Saturday came next. This part of her is often considered the meat of the thing. Its when she stretches out and kind of says to the world, "World, Its Saturday, the MEAT of the weekend" See how she says that? I told you it was the "meat" of the thing. --- I was a little depressed though, so I don't think I made the best of this part of the weekend. I fight loneliness all the time, living in this new city, not really knowing anyone - partly I do it by being "out", but like Seinfeld says: you also have to be "in" sometimes and my Saturday had allot of "in" I watched a silly movie pretty much from start to finish in the afternoon. It had Amanda Peet in it, but I never did catch the name of it. Its a regret about this weekend that I will suffer through maybe forever, or at least until TBS runs it again and I pay attention. Maybe I can describe it a little bit, and our morbidity and mortality conference on the weekend can come up with some answers. Amanda Peet is dating this dweeby little guy and trys to isolate him from his buddies. His buddies understand she is controlling and dominating, so they try to break them up. Part of their plan is to kidnap Amanda Peet's character and then fake her death, then set up their buddy with an old high school girlfriend, before she becomes a nun. Any help? the dweeby guy is an actor that is best known for his roll in the movie American Pie. But I digress.
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The Saturday Evening part of the weekend, saw me mosey on over to Bayside Park. (a mosey is a very leisurely type of pace) Had dinner and watched some street performers. This couple was playing with fire, and juggling daggers. You just don't see that everyday. At one point they had six daggers flying around between the two of them, Each with the precision flip in the air so that they catch the handles and not the blade part of the things. They did more, but it really is a visual type of thing and reading about it wont do it justice. Then I came back "in" and watched a movie I rented called: "Babel" I promise you, if all you get out of reading this post is the knowledge to save your money and not rent this thing then I have contributed to the world by letting you know .... It was horrible.
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Sunday was really a great day, This was the part of this particular weekend that loved me the most. It was when the weekend and I really came together and began understanding each other. We laughed , we cried, we were very zen about the day together and it will be our fondest memory of what was. After reading the paper and drinking the Sunday morning Starbucks, I hopped on that train that runs through my building and went on over to Calle Ocho. Me and 1.4 million other people. I walked approximately 54 blocks in all, and saw all kinds of craziness. Glenn Rice, the former Miami Heat star, was signing autographs up by 27th street in a booth sponsored by Kia. They had all these "Kia" girls with skimpy little jump suits on ,and some of them had bikinis and paint...PAINT as clothes, its not just a concept you see in Sports illustrated's swimsuit edition anymore, it is going main stream. (to the extent that a street festival celebrating Latin American diversity in the heart of Little Havana is mainstream) Something else I saw that amazed me was lines that stretched out for incredibly long distances, simply to get some free stuff. Calle Ocho is a street party with all kinds of different musical performances spread out over 27 blocks or so. It is also big business and there is tons of little booths marketing to the people and part of that included crappy little minutia. Colgate had a booth, and had I chosen too, I am pretty sure I could have got some free toothpaste, I chose not to wait in the line though, luckily You can also buy toothpaste at a store for less then three bucks. Standing in a line that wraps around and around in the hot sun for a free tube, just didn't work out in my head as being worth the three bucks. but that was just me, and as the line attested, many others did the economic math and said what the hell, let me get some free Colgate.
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On the way back I passed by one of my new favorite bars: "Finnegan's on the River" this is a bar that is located on the Miami River. True fact, the river and the city are both named Miami. The city stole it from the river though, at least that's the story I am going with. The river was here first, And the city came next, but I don't think the river feels bad about it at all, Its like myself in that regard. My dad and I have the same name. I feel honored, not bad about that. Its the same thing with the river and the city. Its also like the Georgia Bulldogs, Grambling, and the Green Bay Packers, they all have that same "G" on the side of their helmets but they all seem to get along together and send each other those silly little Christmas letters in December.
I met some characters at this bar that day. Two bisexual women, a punk rock chef and a comedian dry cleaner dude. I can tell you this, WE DID NOT BUY A BOAT TOGETHER. Its not often though that you run into a group like that and contemplate it as much as we did. Its all over now. A little Simpsons, some King of the hill. fall asleep in the lazy boy that's how it ended. They usually do end up dying that last death with me in the lazy boy watching cartoons. There is a rhythm to life though, and a new weekend will be born in about five days.
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* - At the point where I say (not that there is anything wrong with that) I assume it is common cultural phenomenon to understand I am quoting an episode of Seinfeld .. and no, I did not credit Seinfeld in the post, but am also clearly not trying to claim the line as mine. Its just funny to say stuff about gayness, and then say (not that there is anything wrong with that)

6 comments:

Brian in Mpls said...

I always enjoy coming here. You have a great mind:)

PhoenixHearse said...

Saving Silverman...that's the movie. I don't know the actor's name.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Brian. I gravitate to your blog for the exact same reason... I'm not gay though, and all this man love requires me to make that statement, (not that there is anything wrong with that)
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Phoenix. I think you are like the anesthesiologist in our little M&M conference on the death of the weekend. YOu have added insight and knowledge to which I will eventually use to help rule the world...... Signed a cartoon villain (their goals are always to rule the world not just get rich)

Native Minnow said...

I would, however, stand in a line that wrapped around the block in the hot sun for a free girl with a painted on bikini.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Minnow. Thats because you are a man who has values and integrity and understand the value of a dollar and the corollary to that, which is the value of your time. Also as things would have it, they were dancing up on top of a platform so you could be in the masses and watch without waiting in line. YOU KNOW WHY- because women wearing paint for clothes has been deemed Important, and this is AMERICA ...

SAILOR MOON said...

lol um, i have a suggestion, be part of the netflix world. Youcan rent whatever you want at a touch of a button, ive had it since 2002. Plus you can watch movies online too. You can get a aux cable and connect it to your tv too. Im telling you netflix is totally worth it!