Tuesday, March 4, 2008

The Cheetah, and the dart to the neck, that is laced w/ divorce lawyer



As I go through this divorce, I can't help but wonder about the new challenges ahead. There are many. One of the challenges is like the difference between a Zoo-kept Cheetah and a wild one. Living in the Zoo means you have to face the bars and the limitations of the pen, but the meals are always consistant, and if they are feeding you steak and lobster, and you like Steak and lobster, it is a tradeoff that you can appreciate. However, imagine suddenly getting one of those darts in your neck, which, this time is laced with divorce lawyer, and waking up, no longer in your zoo confines, but in the middle of the African veldt, or maybe a major metropolitan city in the south.

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Now, Speed, and agility is at a premium, The bars are off, but the steak and lobster is no longer delivered by the keeper. You are in fact dealing with the pursuit of the gazelles after a fifteen year hiatus of NOT pursuing any gazelles, so you keep wondering why they wont just bring the steak and lobster? You soon realize if the gazelles are going to feed you, you will have to be fast enough, (whatever that entails) -- Sure you are a cheetah on the inside, and believe in your speed, (wit, humour, personality etc) but much like an aging wide receiver in the NFL, you also have to deal with the fact you may not have the best speed, you have to adjust with perfect route running, the occasional un-seen shove of the defensive back and exceptional hands (hopefully by the time you get to be my age you have a little personality and understanding of the opposite sex, not to say you understand them, its just that you understand them better then the faster, better looking younger competition)

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You may long for the days of having it delivered and the sense of security in knowing the keeper so well after all those years, but that just aint happening for you anymore so its time to work on the route running...

6 comments:

Brian in Mpls said...

Divorce is not fun I am still dealing with the aftermath of a messy one four years later.

But I tell you it is def. fun to be back in the wild:)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

You need to use your wisdom and cunning to bang those gazelles. Don't give up and settle for water buffalos.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Brian, a bit of an understatement, but I agree, Divorce is not fun...
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Gancer, Check, no water buffaloes for me. thats just good advice...

Native Minnow said...

Divorce? Ouch! My ex-wife and I are still good friends, but we also still have our moments. Good luck in dealing with that. I hope you come out of it ok (financially and emotionally).

SAILOR MOON said...

im digging the cheetah analogy, then you lost me on that football crap...i so hope not to fall victim of divorce...im going into my marriage with an ideal of unparallel and unbreakable love...hope its not naive!

Bill From Gainesville said...

Sailor, Marriage is a good thing just always be open about finances and listen to each other.