Sunday, June 1, 2008

Cheese grating, Obama or McCain?

So, lets say you go to a bar. You get the salad, and then the waiter brings the cheese grater thingy over. They ask if you want Parmesan cheese and you acknowledge that you do. Now its a contest between you and the waiter. Your roll is to tell them when you have had enough of that wholesome goodness that is Parmesan cheese. They are secretly judging you for how much freaking Parmesan you ask for. It is a battle of wills that I mostly lose, I usually always concede to the social niceties that is the waiter grating cheese on your salad, but I think this week is the week that I never tell them to stop. I will just have the guy crank Parmesan cheese on my salad until HE questions me,

"Dude, there is a ton of Parmesan on your salad, do you want me to stop?"

no more mister decorum, no more Mr. Obama for me, just sucking up to the masses, or in this case the waiter who is cranking out Parmesan cheese. I will be a man this time, and have a mountain of Parmesan cheese on my salad, or the implicit acknowledgement that this is all a scam and that you no more control the amount of Parmesean cheese on your salad then Obama controls not being a socialist/ communist.

I will not act like the waiter isnt judging my parmesan intake, and I will not judge those that will vote to put up a replica of the berlin wall around washington D.C. when O bama becomes president. He may very soon be the President of the United States, and as far as an orator and great speaker, their is no greater socialist I would ever want to be President then him.

We all have our problems to deal with and in no way am I endorsing McCain, except for the fact that if I have to choose between Obama, and a guy that doesn't know deep down in his heart how much cheese to put on my salad, I am going with Mr. clueless salad guy, or McCain. He would clearly just grate a little cheese and if you didn't tell him "when" He would surely just stop and move on to the next person. O'Bama, on the other hand would just grate away, and even though he would be judging you for not telling him to stop, he would continue with his Parmesan dump because you are a voter and he panders to you. I just believe in capitalism to much to ever go with OBama, but again that doesne mean I don't think he isn't a fine orator. He really is. Tell you something else in this blog post, He will pick Hillary as his running mate. No doubt in my mind about that. No way he doesn't do that. If anyone reads this post and they like Obama as their next president, again, I will re-iterate the positives for the guy. 1) he is truly an outstanding orator. 2) I also believe he is a natural leader of men. 2) He probably would just grate cheese on to your salad until you actually said to stop and would not judge you for being greedy because in the end, if it makes you the voter happy, he is all about that. So that is all good, He will also raise your taxes, pull our soldiers out of the middle east which on the surface, is a good thing, but the cluster fuck that will follow will have you paying ten dollars a gallon for your gas before 2009 is over. Plus it will be very possible, Israel will be attacked, and we will then have our guys over there getting killed in that little war. So our guys are in a stupid war because we had a stupid president put them in harms way, and no matter who ends up being president some more soldiers will also be killed. Vote for McCain, who will keep them in Iraq, or elect Obama who will end up spending lots of our money returning them home and then sending them back over to Israel a year or so later when that whole place destabilizes. Either way, its messed up, less pressure on the airlines though if you elect McCain. Plus McCain is only going to grate so much cheese on your salad then he is just going to go on, the man is seventy something years old and he doesn't have time to grate cheese on your salad all day. This is how I think, and again I respect you socialist loving OBama fans so don't get all nasty, and yes, I do realize Bush is an idiot, I just don't think that means McCain is also.
Rick, thank you for the link and the dig about the kool aid!


ldygator said...

Wow, nice metaphor! You have a lot of really great points. I like how you knock all the stuff off the top and leave just the meat of it all.

Quin Browne said...

bill, i agree. obama scares me, yet, i have this little feeling if i say he scares me, i'll get *that* look.

i'd say i'd move, but, i can't sell my house as it is...and our dollar isn't worth crap anywhere else, either.

fmd, bill, fmd.

Bill From Gainesville said...

LDY GATOR -- thanks --the cheese is like our money being spread out all over everything like there is an endless supply
Quin, FMD indeed....

scg said...

The newspapers should publish that post. It is as if Brett Hume and Dave Barry crashed together! I love it!

We survived eight years of Clinton. So, I think we could survive four of Obama. Keep in mind, it is a hell of a lot easier to go to war than it is to change domestic policy about anything.

No way will he pick Clinton as his VP though. Not a chance. I would never, ever, let Mrs. Clinton behind me.........ever......


Bill From Gainesville said...

He wants to be president and Hillary on the ticket would probably do the trick, I am calling it right now like I am some kind of a visionary, ITs important because someday I will be sitting at a bar telling some stranger how I have this blog and before he chose, I called it.... and if the first part happens you can be sure the part about the bar and the stranger will also happen then I will get a nine hundred number and exploit my prediction abilities