Monday, June 2, 2008

May the force be with you

Today I talked my way past a residential condo association security guard. Good thing I wasnt a terrorist, or more to the point, why have a security guard if you can just smooth talk your way by? It wasn't like it was easy. The guy tried to call the person I was supposed to see, his boss, and then I think maybe George Bush himself. Then he told me I couldnt go in at all, but I just told him in my best spanish, that I wasnt a terrorist. (My spanish is to kind of talk a little louder and emphasize various vowels and stuff.) But I knew I wasnt there to do harm to anyone, so I had the truth on my side. Perhaps if I was there to cause trouble, I would not have been so good at talking my way by the guy. It was like I was Luke Skywalker just using the force and stuff. "No, I need to get in and take some pictures, you will let that gate thing up." " Yes, Yes I will let the gate thing up." The clincher was when I told him it would only be fifteen, No Ten minutes, I think that I conceded the other five minutes was enough for him to save face, then he let up the arm thingy and I was in.


Clinton said...

When I need to convey a point in Spanish, I just start listing menu items available at Taco Bell. That usually works. And if not, Plan B: Out comes the sombrero!

Quin Browne said...

all i can do is ask, in flawlessly castilian accented spanish, "where is the bathroom?"

sadly, they are so astounded by that accent, they spill out the answer in rapid spanish. i've no idea what area the accent is wouldn't matter. i don't speak spanish, i only know the one question.

then, i have to sort of nod and smile and pretend i know..and follow a group of women, hoping they aren't whores leaving for work or going to a drug den.

"said" Woman said...

Bad spanish and a clipboard can get you in the Pentagon.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Clinton-- thats perfect, I need a sombrero also. Another thing I do is say the few words in Spanish that I do know with lots of hand gestures all while raising my tone and emphasis as well. I find this to not ever help in the communication, but its a funny thing anyways.
Quin- I hate when I follow some women and then they turn out to be hookers going to a drug den.
Said Woman ---at the pentagon its important to dress nice when trying to slip past the security, and it would probably help if your clipboard was bumper sticker free...

Brian in Mpls said...

I will have to call on you next time i am trying to get into a club down there.