Wednesday, April 14, 2010

An existential view of tonights softball loss.

You can choose to look at the softball game we played tonight, and think to yourself, Damn, Werther's Originals suck. I can see that. We played pretty god-awful tonight. In fact, If you look at this game AND the last game, We played horrible both nights. Yes, We won the game last week, but that doesn't mean we should have, Last week we came through in the clutch when it mattered. The Tobe Meister had the hit to cap off the 6 run rally that we needed.
This week, we never even smelled a clutch situation that we could come through, if we had wanted to. We just got drilled. Our clutch was bottoming out on the floorboard of the proverbial Old man's car we were driving, and on top of that, we had the emergency brake grinding out our rotors, Plus our air conditioning was blowing hot air and our radio was set on some kind of classical music bullshit.
I don't see it that way though. I choose to look at the "Big Picture" I think of last weeks close win, and this weeks ass kicking, like our softball season is a Major Motion Picture.
No decent movie ever goes start to finish with the guy getting the girl, the hero vanquishing the villain, or the sports team going undefeated. NO, the heroes always face some adversity. Tonight's loss, and last weeks close win, is like the narrative arc for our softball season. We needed the setback to make the ultimate League championship that we are destined to achieve, have some value. ---Some Meaning as it were. To give the ultimate goal a little character. ONLY the 1972 Dolphins go wire to wire without a defeat, and no one named Griese is quarterbacking this team. Mercury Morris cracked open a bottle of champagne somewhere in South Florida tonight because of the beat down we took.
If this softball season is a Girly-ass love movie, the first two weeks were when we establish our studliness and got the girl, and the last two weeks are when that same Girl, our proverbial hot chick, decides we are kind of a douche bag and breaks up with us. -- The rest of the movie and the rest of the season is how we will make amends for our douchiness of the last two weeks. Particularly our inconsistent hitting. During the first two weeks we totally appreciated the hot chick that was our hitting, but during the last two weeks, due to our douchiness, we were all checking out the hooters waitresses while we were on a date with our hot chick. Just, simply put, not focusing. just total douchiness in a non hitting kind of way. It was like when Goose got killed in the training exercise in that movie Top Gun. Tonight was when we got the Goose killed.
Maverick lost his confidence, and his hot ass girlfriend who was the technical adviser to the Top Gun Academy (Kelly McGillis) but later on in the movie, he shoots down a bunch of Russian Migs and he puts on the brakes and lets them Fly right by them. Tonight the dudes from the other team, (Smack My Pitch up) They are like our Ice Man. They beat us down in a game of proverbial Beach Volleyball while showing off their abdominal muscles, but later on this season they will tell us that we can be their wingman anytime when we save their ass, (or for this analogy, Kick it) We will tell them how THEY can be our Wingman.

-Our team is like Julia Roberts in the movie Pretty Woman. We may be Prostitutes and all, but Our Hitting is like Richard Gere climbing the ladder and facing his fear of heights to pick us up in his limousine because he knows, us winning the championship is just like a prostitute that ends up marrying a billionaire. Our hitting is the billionaire in all of us. Each of us has it in him and Richard Gere is like our hitting. It will find our inner whore that is each and every one of us and pimp us out to the green grass that is line drives hitting the outfield.

So, No, I don't see this loss, or last weeks close win as a setback, I see it as the key to appreciating winning the championship and to make it that much sweeter. I like to drink my coffee black, but I want my championship seasons to have a little sugar


Native Minnow said...

The gay Top Gun remix always makes me laugh.

Bill From Gainesville said...

That is some funny shit