"Wherever you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai said that. Lately however, I have not been feeling it. I have been lost inside my own head. When I am home, I feel like I should be out. When I am out, I feel like I should be in. When I am working I want to be doing something else and yet when I am not working, I feel like I should be. I have some projects and some deadlines that aren't going to miraculously come together by themselves. For me lately, "wherever I go, I wish I was somewhere else"
-The best thing anyone can do for themselves is to be present in their own lives, yet I have been feeling like I should be doing something else, no matter what it is that I am doing. Its very frustrating.
-I was out the other night and got a phone number. Now that I have those digits I don't really want to call. Pretty sure I will wait a week or so and then do it, and she will read that as me playing games. Not really though, thats not my intention. My intention is to just cut the whole relationship and all the bullshit that goes with that short. so instead of boy meets girl, boy and girl go out for awhile, then boy and girl stop seeing each other. I am just going to skip right to the breakup part and miss out on all the pain.
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My blog writing was non-existent for the past week and now I am writing this drivel. I believed I should write when I wasn't, and now that I am, its all I can do from hitting the delete button.
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Eckhart Tolle wrote about being present in the moment and letting go of your EGO -so thats a good book for me to re-read (the power of now) except that when I picked it up again, I felt bad about wasting my time reading a book I have already read. Not very "power of now" of me at all.
16 comments:
Ok, believe it or not but I have been reading The Power of Now all day. And what is even funnier is I thought the same thing..."why am I reading this I have read it a hundred times"
I feel your pain. I have anxiety about having anxiety-
Its a good book. Another one that talks about the same type of thing is "happiness now" by robert Holden. they are both filled with all the: "live in the moment, quit worrying about the future" "stop dwelling on the past yada yada yada yada." Its a better book, just not as famous as Mr. Tolles cause Oprah didnt pimp Holden out like she did for Tolle --- and truthfully thats a good line about having anxiety over anxiety -- oprah should pimp you out
I worship Oprah, I would be her bitch any day of the week.
The fun part can be amazing though :) Don't skip it.
Oh, please call her! I do this all the time. I know I should be out being social and making friends, but instead I just want to sit at home alone. And the times that I force myself to go out, I'm always glad I did.
But think of all the sex you could be having before the break up part. Call her for me, if not for yourself.
I agree with minnow, every girl assumes you are going to use her for sex anyway. Serves those Beyotches right.
CYFN - Oprah is awesome no doubt and its not like I ever watch her show. Its just that she made herself into a billionaire, she can influence our entire society by just simply talking about it no matter what "it" She is a fully involved human being
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Brian, Phoenix and Minnow and CYFN-- I will be calling her I didnt work that hard to get the digits in the first place not to follow through but if she wants some sex she is going to have to buy me some steak dinners first... Oh wait strike that, reverse it eversal isnt it?
where the hell is my editor. It should have read: whatever "it" is. and: eversal isn't it? thats not even English
I feel like a hooker when men buy me things first so I like to just get it done and work from there. No sense wasting time or money if it ain't gonna work in the long run.
Yeah, I said ain't, tell your editor to suck on that.
Ok, sorry. I have nothing against your editor. I am a headcase as we previously discussed and it is showing today.
Sorry. I am sure your editor as better things to do than suck on my ain't.
I will go back from whence I came, it is time for my meds. Yipee!!!
Pretty sure the editor is okay with sucking on your "aint" --
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also those are two excellent comments right there -- they made me laugh
Don't feel alone Tonto. I was opening up your blog while sitting here debating on whether or not I am going to meet some folks downtown. I promised them I would and I know I will have a good time once there but for right now I don't really feel it is what I want to do. I go through this crap all the time.
Kimosabie -- or however the hell you spell that, glad to hear I am not alone. Generally once you are out that ends up being a good place to be afterall. I get that.
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I just wish that I could be content being with just me. Sometime in the past, I used to feel that way and I want it back. when you have that, then being out is just fun and not like a job.
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I think sometimes, when you are single thats what going out is like. its like a freaking job.
wow, i have some catching up to do
the best book you could read right now is "In the meantime. Finding yourself and the love that you want"
simply a must for you
Cher thanks for the tip I will read it only because you said so (after I read the next three books I already have lined up.)and the one I am reading right now sucks, but it doesnt suck bad enough to give up on it --- it is just barely good enough for me to read about 7 pages a night and it is a 700 page book .... I am on about page 590 right now though ...
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