Saturday morning I punched a duck, right in his little duck sternum.
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The hotel I am staying at was sold out of the newspaper, but fortunately there is a shell station just down the road. My Daughter was still asleep and my son was playing webkins on the computer. I told them where I was going, and that I would be right back.
-Between the hotel we are staying at, and the shell station, there is a pond with ducks. I was on my journey to secure knowledge and black ink on white paper, minding my own business when a duck attacked me. He just bull rushed into my calves. It startled me and taking from ancient DNA within my very soul, I did the first of two things when confronted with evil. I ran. At first I didn't understand what was going on but as I looked back while running, I saw the duck come off the ground and start flying after me. It was quite a bizarre situation. I turned around as the duck was chasing me down, and then when he got close enough, and before he landed on my head and did god knows what he was going to do, I did the second thing that is programmed into my DNA. I fought back. I punched him in his little duck sternum.
-This dropped him to the ground and I again ran. I don't want to really admit it here, but evidently one right jab from the billster was not enough to make the Duck think about his actions. After punching him I ran again, and I guess as he gathered his senses it took awhile but he once again pursued me, all the way to the shell station. I went in to the store and that duck was just standing out by the curb waiting for me. He is a Duck bully.
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I told the cashier what happened and at first she didn't believe me but soon I convinced her and she gave me a piece of hotdog bread. As I walked back out of the shell station on my way back the duck started waddling after me like he wasn't finished attacking me. This was when I threw down the bread crumbs and saved myself from further duck fighting.
-True story ....
7 comments:
This story = awesome!
Funny stuff!
This must have been one fancy show-down! Sorry I wasn't there to see it.
Minnow -- thanks
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NTF -- reviewed and agree although I laughed my ass off more after I recounted it a couple of times and thought about it at the time of the confrontation I was wondering what the hell was wrong with that duck
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LA Friend. I just wish someone was there to take pictures and stuff
I know the duck arena of which you speak. I have seen those ducks parade around like they own the whole damn area. Vehicles actually have to watch for them as they waddle their bully arses across the street. They will even cross and then turn right back around and cross again. I think they are laughing as they do this. I am glad you defended yourself. However, it should be noted you chose flight before you chose fight. That's not a bad thing I suppose. I'll tell the ducks to respect the Billster next time you are around. However, I have a feeling they will just bully you for your lunch money (bread) the next time they see you. You don't give the bully your lunch money after you pop them in the sternum you big dummy!
next time, carry oranges and show them to the duck.
i promise they won't come near you.
ps my word is billty
QB--- Missed ya!!
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