Thursday, February 25, 2010

My NFL whoring days are coming to an end soon

Bottom line, I am a Fan of the Florida Gator Football team. Thats my team. I make it a point to watch all their football games. Even if they are playing northeastwestern tech state vocational school at the same time Alabama is playing Texas, I am watching the Gators.
In the NFL though, I am a Bucs fan---- now that I live in Tampa. ---When I lived in Miami I was a Dolphins fan. When I lived in Denver it was the Broncos and when I lived in Gainesville it was the Jaguars. In short I am a bit of an NFL whore. I love the whole league. Love Watching Monday Night Football. Love watching the Cowboys against the Giants or whatever the best game is on any particular Sunday. Might love the league as a whole more than the Gators specifically, although no evil cartoon bad guy will make me choose between being able to watch only the NFL but not the Gators or vice versa. If there was an evil villain that made me choose, I believe it would be access to the NFL. I guess I am just a slut that way. Love playing fantasy football and love sitting in a bar watching football on Sunday afternoons. It is the best football in the world.
My whoring and slutty NFL ways are about to end though. Pretty sure whichever team picks Tebow, that is my new favorite team. There are people in Jacksonville who are trying to persuade Jaguars Ownership to draft him. Short of him coming to Tampa that would be the next best thing. Basically their tag line is: Draft him and we will come.
I think it will be awesome if the fans of a franchise can influence that decision and I will tell you something else, Mel Kiper and that other Mel Kiper want to be, are missing the point. They can kiss my ass. He does have a weird throwing motion but that did not stop him from being dominant at the highest level of College Football and he will make the adjustment. He will be one of the top NFL QB's in the league for a long time. Maybe not as a rookie, but in a few years watch out.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sharks and small import cars.

Sometimes I feel like I am swimming in the ocean and although its more likely that you would get hit by lightning, you still cant help but think about the sharks. ---- Except I am not really worried about the sharks so much as a typhoon type of thing sneaking up from the deep and flushing me on through the beach area and then out into the street area, where I might get wedged on a power pole due to the current, and then a small Korean made car gets washed up in the flood and crushes me up against that thing.
At this point the shark comes along and eats me. Cause if it was just me and the shark with no Korean made car pinning me up against a power pole, I like my chances, and the shark would know better than to try to mess with me. Sometimes life isnt about the known things like the fact that Sharks live in the ocean, Sometimes its about the typhoon and the Korean made cars mixing it in and creating complications.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Working out with A-Rod -- Sort of.

Most days after work I go and get a little gym time, Today I worked out with Alex Rodriguez so that was different. Okay, I didn't really work out with him. But he was working out in the same gym at the same time that I was working out. So in that sense, I worked out with A-Rod tonight.
(The Yankees do their spring training in Tampa)
He didn't bother me, so I didn't bother him. Before I started my work out I was coming out of the locker room and he was walking in right past me, so I gave him a head nod acknowledgement and he nodded back.
I did not use any Steroids or Human Growth Hormone and i am figuring since his employer tests for that stuff he didn't either. We were just all natural pushing the barbells and running the treadmills. That's how we roll.

Monday, February 22, 2010

scooby and shaggy

Check out scooby and shaggy checking it out

Friday, February 19, 2010

Things you can learn from your dog

Things you can learn from your dog:
1) love children
2) drink plenty of water
3) be a dependable friend
4) express pleasure when treated well
5) guard faithfully the interests of those who care for you.
Read that today - no attribution on the place where I read it, but thought it was a good observation.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Hurry Hard

Tiny little softball update. We lost by one run and now we are 3 and 3 for this season to go along with our 5 &5 record of last season. it would appear we are a 500 team. after 16 games we are 8 and 8, Bill Parcells said it best. you are what your record says you are. The good thing is that after going 2 and 5 in the regular season last year, we swept the playoffs to win the league. Maybe that will happen again, who knows.
What I need to talk about tonight though is the winter Olympic sport of "Curling." Just a great sport. Its like shuffle board on Ice and they add in "sweepers" -- When the player rolls the rock and he needs the sweeper to get on the sweeping business that they have trained for years to do, they have a term called "hurry hard." and the roller guy will yell at the sweeper guy to "hurry hard" and now thanks to an enterprising business man you can now also buy a condom of the same name.

Just a fascinating concept plus half the profits go to cure aids and the other half goes to some kind of curling association. Its truly a win, win, win situation. That curling association gets some money, The coalition to cure aids in Monterey California gets some cash and then of course you prevent yourself an unwanted pregnancy. Triple win right there! Thanks to my friend Kat for pointing out this hilarious concept. l

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


I have watched a little American Idol over the past 8 years or so. I generally like the early part when its a surprise with some guys that suck, and others that are good ...I also like towards the end when there are about 8 or 9 contestants. Tonight I watched the show where they come out with the 24, and its just good T.V.
These people know how to sing and even the ones who don't make it through are good. The drama of it all is just compelling. The sheer joy of the ones that get through, and the absolute and utter grief for those that don't, make it is just damn good T.V. watching.
Seriously, Raw freaking hopes are coming true for some of them, and then others are also getting crushed like little grapes getting stepped on by a fat dude. Its truly just big time T.V. watching. I feel for all of them and its just Awesome to watch. This is why reality T.V. works, because as much as it can be some contrived crap, it can also be like this.

simple observations

A friend of mine sent me this picture of herself holding a Fish she caught this past Monday. She was very proud of herself as well she should be. Thats a very nice Amber Jack she has right there!

I sent her back a headline from a newspaper article ---Its just very astute, You really can not put anything by a fed ... Those dudes just know... and I bet that fish she is holding wished that she took that headline to heart.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Not time travelling but divorced dad travelling

Last night I rented "The Time Travelers Wife" It was an Okay movie, decent enough that I didn't turn it off, --It didn't suck.

Today As I was doing some Sunday Errands the whole thing got me thinking. As far as my Children, I have pretty much the same problem. Not in the sense that I bee-bop around into the past and future or anything, but in the sense that on average I see my kids for a weekend every third week. Just like the time traveler movie, He pops in and out of his life with his wife because he is a time traveler that can't control when he travels through time.
Sometimes stuff happens and its two weeks, sometimes its 4 weeks, but generally I pop in and out of their lives every three weeks. We talk occasionally on the phone in between , but the reality of it is that they live their lives and I get to see how it is turning out for them on an interval basis one weekend sliver at a time.
Did drive up to Gainesville to catch my son's basketball game yesterday before my x-wife and kids took off to Destin to see Their Grandmother and Grandfather. It was two hours up, 40 minutes or so watching, then 2 hours back to Tampa. That is not just a sliver of his life, that is like the crumbs from the sliver but it is at least the good crumbs with the frosting part still on it.
He played well defensively and scored one basket in their 34 to 20 win. My X-wife had forgotten I was coming, so she had left my daughter at home to pack for their trip. She did go back and get her though, and I found out that she made Straight A's this past Semester in school. (my daughter, ---my x-wife doesn't go to school) -

Friday, February 12, 2010

Tebow prior to SB 44

- No I AM NOT CRYING IN THIS PICTURE, I do think I might of been in shock to meet him though-- Love that dude - the woman in the picture is the wife of My Boss.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

People Busting On me...

This past weekend on South Beach we were walking by a gay bar and this guy in the white shorts was dancing his ass off. I took out my camera to take a picture of him and he stopped dancing so that he could POSE like he is Posing as I took his picture.
He did that FOR ME!
There was a couple that was sitting down at a table right next to me and they asked me what I was going to do with the photograph, and before I could tell them, My Bosses wife told them for me. She said: "He is going to use it for his spank bank"

Softball Synopsis for February 10th

CLEARWATER—On a night when one of the Originals Star players, platoon Catcher, and sometimes Right Fielder, James Constable missed a game due to the pending birth of his first child, the Originals won their third game of the year in “true” comeback fashion to ease above the 500 mark. Team Statistician, Lacy Lewis said that the rumors the happy couple would give their child the middle name of either “Original” or “Werther” in the teams honor should they win tonight, were grossly exaggerated and had nothing to do with the dramatic way the team battled back for a victory tonight.
I think her exact words were: “are you guys a complete bunch of moronic idiots? ”
Regardless of what inspired it, The Originals never quit when they got behind tonight and just kept on battling. Whether it was in the Teams collective hopes and dreams that a victory would secure a specific name on some unsuspecting and as yet unborn child, or even if it was only because this is a team of spunky diehard athletes, the Originals were able to eek out a 23 to 19 comeback win.
Afterwards, Third Baseman ”Bill, I will Play Third base wherever the hell I want to play it, Burke” explained the very concept of a comeback victory to “Karl, Pain doesn’t Hurt Forrest”. (as a side note, a few Weeks ago in the last Original’s victory, Karl had declared that game a “great Comeback”. In that previous game the Originals never actually trailed) Burke explained it to him this way: “ Karl, Because we were behind the whole game , and then at the very end we came back and got ahead, that is a comeback win” . It is believed Karl was able to understand and fully grasp the concept after this experiential type of learning.
Bill Burke however, apparently was not able to come to terms with the concept of a “slow infield.”
Before the game began tonight, The Originals starting Pitcher pointed out to all the infielders that the Clay had been soaked, and would be extremely slow tonight when ground balls were hit. He recommended they compensate, and that the infielders should play in a little bit, to make up for the slower roll of the ball. Burke immediately agreed with this concept. Later we found out he had only agreed in theory. When he actually took the field he maintained his position at the marriage line of the infield and the outfield grass.
When asked about the difference between what he said he would do, (play up) and what he actually did, (play back) He Replied: “I agree in principle with everything Werther said, but in reality, it wasn’t going to be Werther’s Balls that got nailed on a hot shot down The Third base line, so When taking that in to consideration, I believe I acted prudently”
This is why he has the makings of a great lawyer. It’s not only the facts that matter in a trial, but it is also the emotion you are able to bring out of the jury. No one who heard his explanation and has ever been hit in that area of their anatomy, could disagree with that impeccable logic or if his own balls happened to be his client, send that client a guilty verdict.
Speaking of getting hit in that region of a man’s body, The Original’s Right Center Fielder, “ Sean, I am not ashamed of laying in the grass last week after getting hit in the nuts, Tobe, ” had an outstanding game this week. He was only hit in the body by an errant softball a few times, and none of those times involved his manness. Once when he was trying to score and the other team was trying to throw him out at the plate, the ball errantly hit his shin, and another time a ball bounced off his glove and his shoulder while he was trying to catch a deep fly ball in Center field. The ball then hit the fence and hit him again on his forearm, before it plunked down onto the Green grass of the outfield ground. At no point however, did any of these softballs hit him in the place that we all know hurts so much, like it did last week, so it was a Great victory for the Tobe tonight.
He acknowledged this small victory, by at no point ever just laying in the outfield grass. “ No one begrudges the man for laying around in the grass last week after what happened to him, but we were worried he had enjoyed it so much that he would do it again this week for no reason ” Said one of his fellow Outfielders and team co-captain “Ben, I am pretty sure those guys didn’t hit a single ball my way all night Keener”
In addition to stellar play in terms of not getting hit where it hurts, Sean also had a great running catch in which he leaped into the air like a Gazelle. Above and beyond this spectacular play, he also had one of the TWO Grand Slam Homeruns that were hit tonight for the Originals.. “Dan Howitzer Arm” had the other. In your Team Programs the Originals Organization does not list RCF Next to Tobe’s name for his position of Right Center Field , but rather, just the abbreviation ATH. This is short for ATHLETE. Said long time Sean Tobe friend and Team Captain “ Adam, I wear my Blue socks all the way up to my Shorts, Lewis” --- "I have known the kid for my entire life and have never been as impressed with his athletic ability as I was tonight, and also that he did not continue to just lay on the outfield grass for no reason”
With this third win of the regular season the Originals have already made a measurable improvement on their softball record from last year. Last season the regular season schedule, ended at 2 and 5 so they are already guaranteed of an improved regular season. This team was built to make a run in the post season though and the jury is still out. Come out Next Wednesday for yourself to see if the team can put together any kind of string of wins during the regular season, like they did in last seasons 3 and O playoff run.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

A friend E-mailed me this photograph

More pictures from this weekend

Big timed it this past weekend

Went to a football game this past Sunday.

We had some access to a pre-game thing and I met up with Lee Evans. Throughout the past few fantasy seasons I have had him on and off my roster. I felt like it would be good for me to coach him up a little bit.
Took a picture with a Miami Dolphin Cheerleader also because I could.

Earlier in the morning we had breakfast at this thing where Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez and Joe Montana talked a little bit about football.

This is my boss and his wife and Tim Tebow. We did not know that Tim Tebow was going to be at this thing. It was kind of a surprise. We thought we were just going to see and meet Joe Montana.
Kind of sad f0r me but I think the guy who was taking the picture of Me and Tim Tebow
pushed the wrong button and I didn't get a shot of him and me on my camera. I do think there is another camera that has one though, and I should get it e-mailed to me soon.
Joe Montana is taller then I thought he was.
Tim just doing his thing being Tim ...

Saturday before the game we went out on a yacht

It was pretty awesome, we went over to South Beach in the yacht Just big timing it, cause that was what we did this weekend we big timed it...

South Beach was off the hook!

Friday, February 5, 2010

My take on SuperBowl 44

If the Colts were to be represented by an imaginary person they would be the guy who was born into a very well to do family. The type of family that has three homes, The main home and then a winter home in Aspen Colorado and another home in Naples Florida. Our imaginary person would be named something like William, or Peyton or something regal like that.
He would have excelled in academics , first at a boarding school, and then Harvard. He would have played Lacrosse and Polo. As our imaginary person grew up, you would never see any cracks in the image. The kind of guy who never got into any trouble. He may occasionally have a beer but only the fancy types that cost as much as a six pack of Budweiser and then only one, maybe two if it was truly a special occasion.
All the advantages in the world are given to the guy because of his station in life but he remained humble. He used the advantages given to him to make something of himself and did it while still showing respect to others. He is now a top CEO of one of the top ten Fortune 500 companies. He started in that company at a director level.
If the Saints were represented by an Imaginary person They would also be a top CEO of a top ten Fortune 500 company.
There would be differences though. He was born into a working class family. He went to public schools and did okay but not great. He would have had a bit of a wild side and had a few scuffles with the law during his teen years. Nothing real out of hand. That one time he got busted for trying to shoplift a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. A little trouble with speeding tickets. He went to a state college supporting himself as a bouncer at a strip club. He struggled through most of his twenties.
Through sheer charisma and Chutspa he worked his way up the corporation, sometimes taking a few outlandish risks that would either sink his career or propel it upward depending on how it played out. Because of his humble beginnings and long road to the top he is flamboyant now, eschewing the middle aged man luxury car for a Shelby Mustang.
Both of our imaginary people are at the top of their game now. The Fortune 500 companies they run are in the same industry. lets say that industry is advertising. This Sunday they are both pitching a HUGE account that will bring Billions to the firm and truly set the bar to pass even Exxon and become the number 1 earning Fortune 500 company.
Our imaginary person that represents the Colts though, has an edge. He grew up with the third imaginary CEO of the company that will be making the decision on who gets the account. A bit of the Old Boys Club network.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Softball update for the game of February 3rd.

CLEARWATER, FL - The Originals took a 26 to 13 beat down Wednesday Night, much of which was self inflicted.

To be fair, the Razzles Lounge Softball team has some good players, and on top of that, they were some tall dudes.
The game started off with the Razzies up to bat. The first batter hit a weak pop up to short right center field. The Original's own "Sean, let me just lay here in the grass right now, Tobe," made a long run to get to it, but the ball ended up ricocheting off his glove and right into the part of his body that only men have, before landing on the green grass that makes up the outfield. After throwing the ball in, he had to take a little time out, and just lay there for a minute or so. No one that has felt that kind of pain begrudged him this respite. Second baseman, Adam "Gunshow" Lewis who was running back to see if he could make a play, was right there when it happened. His take on the situation was that he did not have a Video Camera rolling.-- "If I had tape of that, I am sure it is the kind of thing that America's Funniest Home Videos would have paid the 10k grand prize for. They love that type of stuff, I am telling you, it was classic ."
Metaphorically speaking, this one play kind of summed up the entire rest of the night. Balls were hit by The Razzies. Many of them landed in the green grass of the outfield, but quite a few bounced off various body parts of the Originals' defense, including their glove hands.
"At least the Florida Gators Signed the number one recruiting class in the nation, so its not like everything went wrong today" commented Team Statistician, and Gator Fan, Lacy Lewis. She certainly can find a positive when the Originals have a suspect outing.
There were a few Highlights for the Originals. At one point the Razzies had a player on third base and the batter hit what seemed like a sure fire sacrifice fly, except Left fielder, Dan, "I have a Howitzer for an arm" shot him down at home plate like he was an overnight shift 7-11 clerk. Even this highlight though, ended up going to waste as the umpire called him safe.
Six Home runs were hit by the originals though, which is always good, and when I say the "Originals" I mostly Just mean "Dan the Howitzer" and Jeff "everybodys All American" Keener hit them, and when I say "always Good" I mean except for tonight. Even with those 6 Bombs, only 5 of them counted, because one of them was hit after the limit had been reached and before the home run extension had kicked in.
The home run that counted as an out for the Originals, was actually a Grand-Slam. "That's just the kind of night we had, even when we did good, we did bad" said team Dwight Freeney fill in, Karl, "just shoot my sprained ankle up" Forrest. Karl had sprained his ankle so bad in the previous game, that ESPN has constantly reported about it on the half hour, for 8 or 9 days straight. At this point we know Karl can, and will play through it, the jury is still out on Freeney though.
The Originals will attempt to bounce back from this loss on February 10th, at the Drew Street softball facility against the next team up on The schedule.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Tebow has a foundation

Tim Tebow has a foundation. It is part of his plan to make the world a better place to live. Can't really argue against that. Who would want the world to be worse? Only Evil Villains in cartoons thats who.
Even scumbags like the Taliban want the world to be better, its just that there view of what constitutes a better world is messed up and out of touch with reality.
Tebow has some plans and intends to do things with his life. I say good for him. I signed up to get on the mailing list and will do what I can to help.