The Originals took a beat down tonight, Much Like Martha Coakley and the Democratic Party took one yesterday in the special election for the late Senator Edward Kennedy's seat in the Senate.
-Senator Edward Kennedy held that seat for nearly 50 years, but the voters of Massachusetts looked for something different in the form of Scott Brown. The Dynasty of Clearwater hack softball that is the Originals, also did something different, just like the voters of our most liberal state.
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The Originals' bat's went silent after the first two innings. Those crickets you hear in the background, is the nothingness that was the Originals offense. We have solved the confusion riddle of "the sound of one hand clapping" That sound is just like our hitting last night. Quick, call a Zen Master and clue him in.
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It was like the voters of Massachusetts were fed up with the Obama administration's push for making America into a European like Socialist State, except instead of voting for a republican to break up the super majority in the Senate, the softballs that were hit by the Originals turned into OUTS. It was an unexpected event in both cases. "sometimes you hit them into gloves and tonight it was like we were hitting metal and that damn blue team had magnets for hands" said team captain, and boss sleeve cutter Adam.
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Unlike the Democratic party however, the Originals did not resort to the blame game. Maybe Martha Coakley thinks the defeat was due to Obama's fiscal irresponsibility, and Maybe the Obama administration puts the blame on the "hare" Mentality of the Coakley campaign, but the originals win as a team and they also lose as a team. With the exception of team co-captain and second baseman Adam, and the platoon duo of guys named James at catcher, every player on the originals made at least one error, and if we are going to be honest, it WAS "Adam" who put together the lineup, that tonight, was the very definition of "FAIL". It was certainly a team meltdown.
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Team Score keeper "Lacy" pretty much summed up the night when she commented about the Originals futility at the plate. She said: " when you guys were up to bat you just made three outs. " A more succinct synopsis could not be made. That is what we did. There is no beating around the bush, we just sucked really bad tonight.
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The originals will stick together, in fact, we blame the farmers of Eastern Hillsborough County for the lack of run production, not each other.
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The past two weeks the farmers have been draining all the water from the Floridian Underground Aquifer System that flows under the great State of Florida so that they could selfishly try to save their crops by creating an Ice blanket for them during this antarctic type weather we have been experiencing. This has caused numerous sinkholes, as well as residential wells to go dry. It's even worse then we thought, though, because after the nine runs we scored in the first two or three innings, the hits from our bats basically went dry as well. Sure, we mixed in an occasional single to go with our "three outs" but nothing good came from those scattered singles and lonely ass base hits. They were the one night stands of hitting. sure it might feel good while your doing it, but later on you just feel used and lonely.
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In summary, what have we really learned tonight? We have learned that the Aquifer has been drained by Farmers. Sinkholes have been forming everywhere in Eastern Hillsborough County because of this. Well owners in the area have lost their access to the water to flush their toilets and take showers. The spicket has run dry as well for the Originals bats. Plus we learned that one night stands only work for that one night, and are not lasting like a five or six run inning is equivalent to a meaningful and caring relationship.
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We took some random quotes from the fans that were present at the game including Jesus Christ himself, as well as Al Pacino.
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Jesus said the following: " I can understand the Originals losing a game here or there, but what baffles me is the total lack of offense. It really wasn't even close. It's mind blowing really. the best way I could describe it would be if you caught me promoting Atheism" "Its just nothing you would ever expect."
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Al Pacino tried to motivate the players by looking to the future. he said: "I don't know what to say really. ...... Now either we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play, till we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell. One inch at a time. "
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Next Wednesday will provide another chance, Next Wednesday is an Inch that we must look at as being right in front of our faces. I think the Originals will take that inch because they are willing to fight for it. Hack Softball is alot more like Pro Football than the College Game. In College Football one loss can be devastating. In Pro Football and Hack League Softball one loss can actually be more of a learning experience.
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