Gross ass leg

This is a photograph of my shin on the night of our last Softball victory. Because we ended up winning, and because the slide that caused this, was an integral part of that victory, I am okay with it. Basically I realize I am an old man and I also realize that we are playing hack league Softball.
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I will only slide when it is important. That night, because we were playing a team that had always beat us in all our previous matchups, and also because I believed my run to be important, I Slid. I promise you internet that the majority of the time I will just be out if there is a close play, because sliding fucking hurts.

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On this night we were fighting Momentum. We had gotten up big, but those bastards made it close with their comeback. We were only winning by one run when we went into the seventh. We had the top half so we needed some insurance runs. I had hit a double with two outs to knock in one of them and then the guy behind me grounded out to third, except instead of doing the normal play in throwing it over to firstbase, he tried to get me out instead. He fielded it cleanly and his play was to go to firstbase except for whatever reason, he believed he could get me out. Probably should have as well, except he pre-maturely through it to the second basemen and I just kept running to third. The second baseman had to hurry it up to third, but I was able to slide under that bullshit and scraped the hell out of my lower leg as you can see from this photograph.

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We did end up winning and I eventually scored another insurance run so it was all good.

Softball Synopsis for January 27th

The third time was the charm. The Originals beat the Wolfpack for the first time in three head to head matchups tonight at the Drew street Softball facility. The prior two losses were in last Season's scheduled play, prior to the incredible playoff run the Originals displayed during the most crucial part of last season.

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Unfortunately , that playoff run did not include any payback for the Wolfpack, as they were defeated by the eventual runner up, Pete and Shortys. This regular season game was decidedly different. After a full seven innings of competition, the final score was: Originals 16, Wolfpack 13.

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The originals jumped to a commanding 13 to nothing lead, scored a 14th run in the fifth, and held on as the Wolfpack clawed there way back into it in their half of the 6th, to make it only a 14 to 13 game going into the 7th. They had the home team advantage of batting last during that inning, but in the top half of the 7th the originals added two insurance runs to make it 16 to 13. The Wolfpack failed to score any runs in their half of the seventh, and the Originals chalked up a January win.

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"Its a long season but winning in January is how you get to the Superbowl and that's just what we did tonight. We won in January" said team right fielder and co-captain Ben Keener. (no one had the heart to explain to him that this is just Men's Hack League Softball and not the National Football League)

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After the game, money front man, and "Mr. Intensity, " First baseman, "Karl Forrest", declared it a great comeback! When it was pointed out that at no time were the Originals ever behind in this game, and thus technically it was not a comeback, Karl simply changed the definition of what a comeback win is. His point was that in the bottom of the 6th when we started that half of the inning, we were up 14 to 6, but after giving up 7 runs in that frame, "it damn sure felt like a comeback, That was some serious Butt Clenching going on, is all I am trying to say" -The butt clenching part was oh so very true.

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Here is the near perfect analogy for this Softball game. It was like we were this years Minnesota Vikings, and we had given up 4 turnovers in the NFC championship game, yet found ourselves tied and in field goal range after already having nearly double the offense of the New Orleans Saints, with less than a minute to play. Brett Favre rolls right, and instead of dumping it off to the wide open back in the flat, or just running it, He throws across his body and creates the 5th turnover of the game, with his pick to Porter. The Saints go on to win the overtime coin toss, march down the field and win the game.

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The Originals also gave up numerous turnovers in the bottom of the 6th in the form of kicked balls, and also using their gloves like they were croquet wickets, plus all those "Bad News Bears" types of throws. We were Adrian Peterson personified, except not the part where we run over people and by People, We were the Adrian Peterson that kept putting the ball on the ground.

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The difference though, is that the Originals did not throw the ball back across the field and their body in the final fateful moments of this game. Like the Savvy Veteran team they are, they chose to run the Ball to the 25 yard line in the top half of the 7th and then we brought in our kicker to split the uprights in the form of a four up and 3 down bottom of the 7th, while stranding the only runner that got on.

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Speaking about the WolfPack's play, Team Score keeper Lacy Lewis observed: "Their problem was that THEY made 3 outs in their half of the inning before scoring the 4 runs they would have needed to win" She truly understands the game of Softball and the nuance and intricacies of the game within the game.

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The bottom of the 6th was stressful. As previously noted, it caused the entire definition of what a "comeback win" is, to come into review by Karl Forrest. The small group of players on the team that are not lawyers, clearly observed that Karl is one, and thats just how they roll. Always trying to make loopholes if they can't find one thats already there, and then just beating you down with ancillary arguments to try to confuse you. Bottom line Karl, if we were never behind in the game, it IS NOT A COMEBACK WIN. All the other lawyers on the team were very intrigued by the unique argument that because they made it so close, it felt like we came back and should be categorized as such.

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Ms. Constable, who is the wife of our teams version of Johnny Bench, actually went into Labor just watching that part of the 6th. "Nothing like watching the team you have been rooting for since you were a small child, kick it around like you guys did to cause a woman to go into Pre-mature Labor" she said. As of the writing of this article no information on an actual birth has been relayed, but Ms. Constable was adamant that she would not be naming the child after a butterscotch Candy in the teams honor.

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Which brings up another analogy: This game was like a microcosm of the Dallas Cowboys play during the month of December. Many players on the Originals are huge Dallas Cowboy fans, especially the Second Baseman and Right fielder. After the Cowboys lost to the New York Giants and San-diego Chargers in the first two weeks of December. it seemed just like the bottom of the 6th inning for us. Yet just like the Cowboys, this past December, that was not who we are as a softball team. We are veterans of the softball wars and even though we may throw up all over our shoes on the way to the dance, We shake it off and pull it together in the end. Just like the Cowboys won their remaining three regular season games in December and early January to get into the playoffs, the Originals righted the ship in the 7th.

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In summary, This game was just a monumental comeback of epic proportions in which we were never behind and then we won.

Still trying to figure out who I will root for on Superbowl Sunday

As I continue to try to decide who to root for at the superbowl in a couple of weeks my dad sent me this Peyton Manning Video.
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A proud papa

This past weekend I was able to watch my son play basketball. He joined a league that is complete with fog / smoke that they run through when they announce their names before the game starts! It was awesome! They were 2 and 0 going into the thing, but lost 20 to 18. My son played well though. He made 4 of the 18 points, and also played great defense. He really hustled and generally played outstanding man defense. He is just so layed back about stuff generally, that it was interesting to watch him get after it. I was, and am very impressed with the kid! I tried to get some photographs but none of them came out.

Thinking Out Loud about the upcoming Super Bowl

Just thinking out loud, and on the Internet, about my upcoming trip to the Superbowl.

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I am stoked up! To have the good fortune to know a guy that has access to this type of stuff and that he wanted to hook me and my boss up, is on top of this world excellentness!

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Pretty sure you can't do what I just did to the word "Excellent," except if you are going to the Superbowl, Than all language mutilation has to be forgiven.

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To my friend that is a Colts fan, Dude , If I could hook you up then I would. I just can't. I know how much you love the Colts in general, and Peyton Manning in particular. I will TOTALLY be pulling for the Colts in your honor. You know that I also have the utmost respect for Manning even though he went to Tennessee. Even when he was there, I thought he was an excellent example of how you are supposed to play the QB position. All that pre-snap movement he does is like some kind of trance inducing dance done by undiscovered tribes deep in the Amazon. Probably right before they sacrifice a Virgin or something.

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Also, to my Friend that is a Saints fan, I know in the paragraph just above this one, I said I would be pulling for the Colts, but that was a lie. In your Honor I am definitely pulling for the Saints and if I could hook you up, you know that I would. I have seen you root for those guys for as long as I have known you, and after witnessing that, there is no way that I think that would be unhealthy for me. Rooting for a team that consistently and generally sucked for most of the Franchise's history has to be good for ya? Right? I cannot imagine that it would ever get frustrating? Pretty sure those Paper bags and the "AINTS" moniker was all in fun, because back then they were just so cute and loveable? I know you cried a little bit tonight with Joy and relief, and seriously, that was a long road to travel to finally get to the point where this is actually happening.

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The Saints going to the Superbowl was like the 2008 College Football season when Vanderbilt was ranked and undefeated after five games. Just a crazy ass sentence to be typing anywhere, much less on such an important blog as this.

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Okay, seriously, I just want a close game, no blowouts and a back and forth affair. I am going to play this as close to Zen as I possibly can. Either outcome will work for me. at least at this point. I am an NFL whore because I love the whole league. I am just glad that it should be a high scoring affair. I do not believe either defense will be able to consistently stop the other teams offense, and on paper I believe this will be the highest scoring Superbowl of all time. Still two weeks away so its not important that I pick a side yet. I will say this, I believe the Colts are better and that they will win but after watching the Saints win a game they had no business winning except for all the turnovers by the Vikings, They may be the team of destiny.

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Miami, When we get down there, we will be letting it loose - Damn how I wish I would have bought that Weurffel Saints Jersey when I had the chance. I do have a Marvin Harrison Jersey that a Colts fan traded me for my Warren Sapp Jersey a few years ago, when he was still wearing the Buc's stuff. Maybe I will wear my Harrison Jersey and my Saints Visor? Lots of time to choose though.

Going to the Superbowl

The Colts are going to the Superbowl.

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The Saints are going to the Superbowl.

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The Billster is going to the Superbowl.

Say it isn't so Salt, Please.

Reading the New York Times tonight and came across an article that says Salt is bad for you.
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http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/21/health/nutrition/21salt.html?em
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Everyone has heard that Salt is not good for you, but the scientists that did the study that this article is about really went over the top. It was some depressing reading because of my love for that particular spice on my food.

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Its like when you are dating a woman and your buddies have been telling you what a skank she is for quite some time, yet you are in love , so you choose to ignore the little signs and make excuses. "She is just a little Flirty thats all, but I am not the jealous type, Its fine guys"

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They never come out and tell you that your girlfriend is straight up cheating on you, because truthfully, they don't know. They just suspect it. They just point to little signs and try to insinuate from there. They are all like " why did your girlfriend get that phone call and immediately blushed and then made it a point to get some space to take the call? was that a booty call?" And because I don't want to think like that because I love her I make excuses. "Naw, that was just a call from her gynecologist and they had to talk about women issues"

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These Scientists pretty much are flat out calling Salt a whore. Not just a whore but a Tiger-ess type of whore. These Scientist are all " dude -SALT is what caused that horrible earthquake in Haiti" Then they put up a power point presentation and show you just how terrible salt is.

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I am torn, I truly love Salt but the charade cannot go on anymore. Salt is just a BITCH and I wish she wasn't so damn sexy when she is sprinkled all over my Delmonico Steak.

"Originals" Softball Synopsis for Wednesday January 20th

The Originals took a beat down tonight, Much Like Martha Coakley and the Democratic Party took one yesterday in the special election for the late Senator Edward Kennedy's seat in the Senate.

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Senator Edward Kennedy held that seat for nearly 50 years, but the voters of Massachusetts looked for something different in the form of Scott Brown. The Dynasty of Clearwater hack softball that is the Originals, also did something different, just like the voters of our most liberal state.

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The Originals' bat's went silent after the first two innings. Those crickets you hear in the background, is the nothingness that was the Originals offense. We have solved the confusion riddle of "the sound of one hand clapping" That sound is just like our hitting last night. Quick, call a Zen Master and clue him in.

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It was like the voters of Massachusetts were fed up with the Obama administration's push for making America into a European like Socialist State, except instead of voting for a republican to break up the super majority in the Senate, the softballs that were hit by the Originals turned into OUTS. It was an unexpected event in both cases. "sometimes you hit them into gloves and tonight it was like we were hitting metal and that damn blue team had magnets for hands" said team captain, and boss sleeve cutter Adam.

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Unlike the Democratic party however, the Originals did not resort to the blame game. Maybe Martha Coakley thinks the defeat was due to Obama's fiscal irresponsibility, and Maybe the Obama administration puts the blame on the "hare" Mentality of the Coakley campaign, but the originals win as a team and they also lose as a team. With the exception of team co-captain and second baseman Adam, and the platoon duo of guys named James at catcher, every player on the originals made at least one error, and if we are going to be honest, it WAS "Adam" who put together the lineup, that tonight, was the very definition of "FAIL". It was certainly a team meltdown.

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Team Score keeper "Lacy" pretty much summed up the night when she commented about the Originals futility at the plate. She said: " when you guys were up to bat you just made three outs. " A more succinct synopsis could not be made. That is what we did. There is no beating around the bush, we just sucked really bad tonight.

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The originals will stick together, in fact, we blame the farmers of Eastern Hillsborough County for the lack of run production, not each other.

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The past two weeks the farmers have been draining all the water from the Floridian Underground Aquifer System that flows under the great State of Florida so that they could selfishly try to save their crops by creating an Ice blanket for them during this antarctic type weather we have been experiencing. This has caused numerous sinkholes, as well as residential wells to go dry. It's even worse then we thought, though, because after the nine runs we scored in the first two or three innings, the hits from our bats basically went dry as well. Sure, we mixed in an occasional single to go with our "three outs" but nothing good came from those scattered singles and lonely ass base hits. They were the one night stands of hitting. sure it might feel good while your doing it, but later on you just feel used and lonely.

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In summary, what have we really learned tonight? We have learned that the Aquifer has been drained by Farmers. Sinkholes have been forming everywhere in Eastern Hillsborough County because of this. Well owners in the area have lost their access to the water to flush their toilets and take showers. The spicket has run dry as well for the Originals bats. Plus we learned that one night stands only work for that one night, and are not lasting like a five or six run inning is equivalent to a meaningful and caring relationship.

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We took some random quotes from the fans that were present at the game including Jesus Christ himself, as well as Al Pacino.

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Jesus said the following: " I can understand the Originals losing a game here or there, but what baffles me is the total lack of offense. It really wasn't even close. It's mind blowing really. the best way I could describe it would be if you caught me promoting Atheism" "Its just nothing you would ever expect."

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Al Pacino tried to motivate the players by looking to the future. he said: "I don't know what to say really. ...... Now either we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play, till we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell. One inch at a time. "

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Next Wednesday will provide another chance, Next Wednesday is an Inch that we must look at as being right in front of our faces. I think the Originals will take that inch because they are willing to fight for it. Hack Softball is alot more like Pro Football than the College Game. In College Football one loss can be devastating. In Pro Football and Hack League Softball one loss can actually be more of a learning experience.

Lingerie Football

Friday night did the whole Lingerie football thing. -- First of all, I think they discriminate and don't let beefy girls play. They were all pretty women and some of them could ball as well and they were HITTING... Plus they played music, and it was just much more exciting then you would think! Count me as a fan of Lingerie Football. Then we went over to the clubby club, and then an Irish Bar and then home...

Devastating

Haiti was already a poor ass place and then this earthquake comes along and messes them up something awful. I have seen estimates of 50 thousand people dying because of this earthquake. I cannot even imagine how horrible it is over on that island right now.
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It just seems so unfair. Its obviously a generalization, but I don't think life was so great for those people even before what little they had was destroyed.
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People are over there living under tarps and dead bodies are just laying around in the street. - I am choosing red cross to send my meager help.

Champions open new season with a win.

The Drew street Softball Facility in Clearwater Florida welcomed back the reigning Rec League Champions tonight. The season started a week late because League officials forgot to sign up for the use of the park. It was like a holdout by the players, or a lockout by the league, except it was really just someone forgetting a little detail. It was like the bay of pigs for the hack league Softball loving crowd last week.

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During the skirmish with the Cubans, the time change was not factored in by the people that were supposed to provide air cover, and this past week, someone was evidently goofing off watching porn on their work computers when they should have been tending to the details of Hack League softball management. Heads will roll, and someone, somewhere pounded a shoe on a table due to this screw up.

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After the week long delay, the prior season's league champions, opened the winter league up with an 18 to 15 victory, and in doing so, displayed all the veteran Savvy of the championship team they are.
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The opponents, as the visitors, opened the first inning with 5 runs, which included two bombs.

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The veteran Originals did not seem phased. In much the same way Bobby Bowden did interviews during the game towards the end of his run at FSU, this columnist spoke with team captain "Adam" during the middle of the inning. I asked him if this initial barrage by the newcomers was a wake up call? Was he aware that the championship trophy has to be earned EVERY season, and that maybe the originals were a one hit wonder, much like the Divinyls, whose song " I touch myself" became a cult classic and whose group never duplicated that success? Adam's reply cannot be conveyed in it's entirety, but the gist of the thing was that he was cold , and he wanted to know how his new grey shirt looked on him with the sleeves cut off, and the remnants of one of those sleeves being his new head ware? --- Pretty stupid Adam, pretty f-ing stupid.

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The bottom of the first, demonstrated for all in attendance that the champions would not just fold due to a little barrage of runs that included two shots that went out of the park. Lead off hitter "William, I play third base like Craig Nettles " opened it up with a hit, Number two hitter "Sean, lets go to the lingerie football game this Friday" followed with a solid shot, and "Ben, let me just bust open the shins of the opposing team's third basemen" followed that with a shin shot off of the hot corners tibia, or is it the fibia? (one of the two smaller ones that connect to the femur. the front one of the two) This brought up "Jeff, I am in a different league then all these other guys I call my teammates," He did the thing he does, and suddenly it was a 4 run bottom of the first for the defending Champions.

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Jeff was allot like Brad Pitt in the movie Oceans Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen. Sure he is going to pull the heist , but he is going to do it with all his sidekicks hanging around and getting a little bit of air time themselves, plus Julia Roberts is kind of hot. Its a formulaic movie, but someone has to be George Clooney and Julia Roberts, and the Originals are ready for another box office success. More than half of the 18 runs the Originals eventually scored were due to the bat of the originals version of Brad Pitt, but some of the moviegoers actually came out just to see Julia Roberts and she did not disapoint. The originals did not throw the ball around to much, played solid enough defense and in the end the whole cast ended up contributing to the apparent success of the sequel.

Why Lane Kiffin is leaving Tennessee

Lane Kiffin is done at Tennessee, because Pete Caroll was afraid that USC was getting ready to be put on Probation and knew enough to bail on out of there.
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Lane looked at the two situations:
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1) USC
This is a top tier program that is in a great City, has National Prestige, and is in a huge metropolitan city with lots of celebrity fans. The Budget is huge, and the competition is the other Pac Ten Schools
2) Tennessee
This is a top tier program in an Okay City. has National Prestige, and has Peyton Manning and Keifer Sutherland as their celebrity fans. The Budget is huge, but the competition is the SEC in general, and FLORIDA in particular.
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So there you have it. Lane is out of there.
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I heard Phil Fulmer is looking for a gig... Whoooo Hooooo.... GO VOLS!

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A friend of mine just e-mailed me this awesome photograph so I am adding it to this post!

Observations on Florida Recruiting

My computer is taking a dive, I need to take it to the shop to see if it can be saved or not. Don't really see that happening any time soon, but I have a work around with my work computer.
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Fired up about this Gator recruiting, just picked up three more dudes from the Army All American game. Plus even though Maurkice Pouncy is going Pro, Mike is coming back. The line will be strong next year as will the offense in general. Defensively Losing Haden Early and possibly Major Wright as well hurts. Along with Dunlap and of course Spikes but he is a senior and you knew that was coming. Pretty sure the kids coming up behind him can play well though. Should not be a bad season next year and you never know, but seriously 2011 should be a legitimate shot at the whole ball of wax. It is so easy being a Gator fan right now!

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Also, looks like the billster might have a line on a ticket for the superbowl in Miami. If it all works out I am sure I will blog about it....

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Thank goodness we still have a month of NFL football till we go to the offseason and have to satisfy ourselves with spring football and the draft. It will be like going on some kind of a fast. Eat it up now while they are still serving it up.

Good bye College Football till we see you again

College football is going to take some time off now, for a few months anyways, until spring football. Spring football is like having a wet dream. At least its something.
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Good game last night, I feel bad for Colt McCoy. At the same time I am happy that the NC stayed within the SEC. Also, reading this morning in the paper that Urban has been going into the office and recruiting and stuff. He evidently does not get the whole, take some time off concept.
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Probably why I will not make a million dollars a year or more, because at least in this aspect of life, I am just better than Urban. I can totally kick back and chill out. I have a bit of an "A type" personality but its just a smidgen compared to him.

The Butterfly effect

Around Christmas time, a Nigerian National tried to blow up a plane in Detroit. The flight originated out of a town near Amsterdam. Fortunately he was unsuccesful.
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Related to this attempted terrorism is me doing the wash.
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Last night I did Laundry for the second day in a row, and as often happens when I do this chore, I ran into my upstairs neighbor who was sitting out in our little courtyard taking care of his Vice (smoking). My apartment has a beautiful little courtyard area, and off to the side is the apartment building's laundry room. I asked him how things were going and he was telling me how slammed they are at his job. I recalled that a few months ago he was telling me how they were going through layoffs. He didn't think that he was going to get the ax, and he didn't, but it was still stressful for him.
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I asked him why the switch, from laying people off to a hiring binge? His answer was that a dude tried to blow up a jetliner. His company makes body imaging machines and those conveyor belts that x-ray your stuff.
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TSA just put in an order for 165 million dollars worth of that equipment with his company, and the airport in Amsterdam gave one for 67 million.
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Terrorism that orignated from Nigerian National, that came through Amsterdam and was foiled in Detroit, that was probably/possibly funded by Al qaeda, has helped the economy in general, the Tampa Area specifically, and my smoking upstairs neighbor particularly. It reminded me of that butterfly that flaps its wings in Africa which ends up in a tsunami in Japan. The Butterfly effect.

Hey 2010, Please play NICE

Last year was decent for the billster. I had my troubles and my tribulations as it were, but compared to 2008 and 2007 it was a solid, overall positive year.

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Looking ahead to 2010, I am just planning on building upon that foundation. Thats the ideal anyways, but each year of your life is like a trip across an ocean. You are on a boat sailing across the sea. Storms can come out of nowhere, your boat can sink, you could get a really bad sunburn and a seagull could possibly drop a deuce on your eye. Thats life, thats how it works. You plan for strong winds blowing at your back and calm seas, with lots of bikini clad women sunning on the deck of your ship, but it just doesn't always work out that way.

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The variables that life will throw at you are multiple and have different levels of good and evil. No matter what, you just keep on sailing. You try to avoid the rocks and the sea serpents and storms but when they are thrown your way you just deal. I would like to believe that I am in some nice seas and have a sturdy boat to sail them with, but you just never know what is around the corner.

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So 2010 please Play nice.

Go Gators

Hello 2010. Glad to see ya. That was Nice how you opened her up with a Gator Beat Down of the Big East Champion. In fact January 1 was a damn fine Day. Took my kids to the Outback Bowl in the morning and that was a great game with an SEC win in the end. Hell, Auburn won that game about 3 different times.

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Because of all the drama at Florida in the week leading up to the Sugar bowl, and the fact that this game was not the game they had hoped to get in, I was a little worried prior to the thing that we might have a let down. My goodness though if they didnt just put it on em!

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I am going to miss Tebow. He is such a great human being and excellent Football player. The Kid dominated for four years in the SEC and yet the Pro experts just don't see it for him.

Time will tell, but I am pulling for him and I wish him well. I loved how he went out with such a fabulous game.

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Watched a little bit of the high school Under Armour game, Saw some future Gators dominate that as well. Obviously next year is a long way off and we are losing a bunch but it does look like they will re-load and it will just continue on. Maybe it won't be a top five type of team next year but probably will be a top ten type, and who knows. Luck has a lot to do with it. I didn't see that 2006 gator team coming out on top until, well you know, they came out on top.