Monday, April 13, 2009

Not yet Grasshoppers.

A few weeks ago I taught my kids how to play the game of "Risk" This is simply the worlds finest board game. It Kicks the ass out of the: "do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollar" Monopoly game. They both have dice and they both have little game pieces, but at the end of Monopoly, someone is the richest dude. At the end of a Game of Risk you have basically conquered the entire known world.
When I taught them the game, I did it by example so they could see the might of My little armies up close, and feel the devastation of their own little armies. It was some global domination alright, but it was done out of love. Self Love, because I don't like losing at the game of Risk, but also out of being a good father. Showing them the way, as it were. Little Buggers learned quick though. Fast forward to This Past Saturday Night when they challenged me to a second game.
This time though, My Daughter talked my Son into forming an Alliance and the two of them worked against me. It wasn't subtle, It was overt and tactical and they were wearing me down so bad I retreated into Australia with only a couple of Asian territories left, while the two of them had America, South America, Africa and Most of Europe divied up.
I saw defeat coming and I was both anguished, and at the same time, proud of my progeny. It was bittersweet. They did not however, step on my throat when I was down. They did not show the killer instinct, or the foresight to put a wounded dog out of his misery and then a Cartoon basically saved me.
My Daughter Had Madagascar and my Son decided since that is one of his favorite movies, that he would conquer this desolate Island and own it for himself. He attacked and won. My daughter felt a sense of betrayal in the alliance and on her next turn she attacked Alaska (because she could, and it was my sons continent) This in turn created laughter and giggling and yelling which was just the cover I needed. I secured a couple of more Asian countries so that I could get my game card and then fortified. My Son took his revenge which caused my daughter to go after him again. The alliance was forgotten and I slowly built up my armies and territories until I was actually back in the game as a player and then I let it loose.
It was like they almost swiped the pebble out of my hand and were ready to go out into the world all Kung Fu like, but the Grasshoppers still have lessons to learn. MUWHAAHAA HAA HAAAHAAA! (that is my EVIL laugh)


Native Minnow said...

I own Risk. I haven't played in years. Most people don't have the patience for board games that take hours and hours to play. I should teach my kids. I know that at least the middle child would like it.

compulsively yours...for now said...

i am fairly certain that the only way i could sit and play that game would be if i were dead, i could play in 15 min spurts throughout the day...

self love=good

kung fu=good

your daughter and son ganging up on you=very, very good

NTF said...

The next time I visit I will show them how to take the old man out as I have done this before.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Minnow -- It is a long game but so is life --- sort of, and you cannot just work on getting to the end, you have to appreciate the process.
CYFN --- Them not having the killer instinct to take me out when they had a chance = GREAT
NTF -- That was a lifetime ago when you and JW and DJ and I think SB-- used to sit around playing that damn game drinking beers, and I am sure you won some, but I also remember winning back then as well

The Charming Hedonist said...

When I was a kid, I remember playing Risk games that lasted DAYS!

quin browne said...

i learned to cheat and stack the deck for 'sorry' so i can quickly lose against the ry-man!