Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A little advice for Jeremy Foley, Free of Charge

As a Gator Fan, The aura I sport around on my body is that of arrogance. Although I began following the Gators in the Doug Dickey era of the Mid Nineteen Seventies, when I was a little kid, I also lived in Gainesville during the Spurrier coached era of the Nineteen Nineties, which featured the Six SEC championships, along with that most awesome year of 1996. *

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The Two National Championships, and even last year's 13 and 1 Runner up in the SEC , under Meyer, also added to my overall sense of College football entitlement. This year was obviously an exception to that persona, but still, with this unexpected turn of events that is the retirement of Urban Meyer for the second and final time in the past year, We must look forward.
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Urban was such a great coach, we made him quit twice. Well now it's done. You could see the tranquility during his press conference to know it's for real this time. He may be the Lance Armstrong of College Football coaches, in quiting and then un-quiting to try for the Tour DeFrance one more time, but he certainly is not the Brett Favre of the four quit variety, Brett Favre. Yes, he quit that first time last December, but he came back, and when he was riding up the Swiss alps on his little Million Dollar Bicycle that is the Gator Program this past season, he realized what a bitch gravity can be, and now he is done for real. At least for a couple of years anyway.
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So as a Gator fan I have some suggestions for our Athletic Director, Jeremy Foley,---- Call this guy and hire him:
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The Hoody....
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What do you mean he would never quit his current job as the Best Football Coach in the world, at the highest level of all organized football, for arguably the Best team in the NFL this current year, and certainly the most dynastic of team we may ever see in that League?
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It's the Florida Freaking Gators that are calling you Bill? (this is part of my overall , Gator Loving Arrogance, I spoke about in the first paragraph of this post, that I think he would at least listen)
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In any event, the Guy drafts, and then subsequently Plays former Florida Gator football players all the time. Jeremy, Just do it, at the very least out of appreciation for all the love he brings our program. I believe his agent is Jimmy Sexton. Pretty sure if you make that phone call then Jimmy will put you on his Christmas Card list for allowing him to negotiate with Mr. Kraft from a position of strength. Might even give you a reach around.
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/The Billster listens to all his Gator Buddies laugh at him for this outlandish arrogance in thinking Bellicheck would ever Leave the Patriots to come to Gainesville.
//Argues back that its probably an easier gig overall, and we could also probably pay him more money. (there are some Rich ass Bull Gators. ---I personally know a couple of em)
///Gets Mocked by those same Friends for his audacity in even suggesting it.
//// Jimmy Sexton personally calls me to encourage my blogging about this.
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Okay Fine, Fuck you then mister Jeremy Foley, for not even giving the man a phone call and asking him.
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What about This Guy then?















That's right. This is the Florida Freaking Gators we are talking about here, and if you don't think we could get Coach Eric Taylor from the fictional town and High School that is Dillon and the Dillon Panthers, then you are just Crazy Jeremy. This Guy invented the Phrase: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose. That is just awesome Catch Phrasing right there. Is it not?
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Plus, Every Game those Panthers Play in seems to come down to a last second touchdown to beat an Arch rival in a crucial game that somehow saves the entire town? JEREMY. THAT WOULD BE SUCH AWESOMENESS TO HAVE FOR OUR GATORS! --- Okay forget that Bill Bellicheck Guy, This is the guy to hire.
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/Bills friends explain the concept of Fiction to him.
// Bill argues that this is for real because he loves watching this show on his HD T.V. and T.V. has never led him astray
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FINE JEREMY, You just have no imagination. Okay, I love this program and as a Longtime Gator Fan My arrogance that seeps out of the pores of my skin says do not quit when Naysayers say Nay.
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How about THIS GUY THEN:
JEREMY!! Its The Coach From the WATERBOY, Plus its also The FONZ. Seriously, How awesome would it be to have the FONZ as our Coach? He could just Knock his Knuckles on Brantleys Helmet, and Brantley would automatically be so very awesomely Cool, Just like TEBOW was when we Won all those Foooootbaww Games.
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/ Fiction is again explained to Bill
// Bill finds himself quite beat down from all the NaySayers on his most excellent advice.
/// Bill realize Nay Sayers say NAY and gives up.
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Okay then Jeremy, Just call up Dan Mullen and get that deal done. You are Such a party pooper.
* I do realize Coach Spurrier also won us one of those SEC Championships in the 2000's It was just easier to put that little asterisk sign and acknowledge that down here

1 comment:

Heff said...

Hey. Take Nick Saban....PLEASE.