Football player

My Sons Football team.... and his coaches




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Hunter calling the signals just before the snap of the football.
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Ruptured stomach

So I made a friend the other week. He was a musician, and after his set we talked some shit for about 45 minutes or so. Told him I would come back the next Sunday. Dude had died the tuesday after we first met. Just weird - Still have his business card. He evidently ruptured his stomach and before going to the doctor he basically bled out internally.

Toll road

lets say you are driving down the road, and you realize it is actually a toll road. You did not understand this when you got on that path, but now you are coming up to the booth and it is time to pay up.

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Same thing with having kids, and those kids allegedly needing braces. ---I am all like: Hey lets get off this toll road at this exit marked: ---" Last exit before buying braces that your kid probably does not actually need" --- I know, its a long ass name for a road and its a bitch if you live on that road, and need to dial 911 or order a pizza or something, but that road will get you where you want to go and it will not cost nearly as much as "Braces" Highway.

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If you dont have the option of getting off at "Last exit before buying braces" because your kid DOES need them and has some kind of a mangled up mouth, then by all means use the "Braces" Highway. But if you look at your kids smile and it is absolutely beautiful and she is beautiful, and the only people telling you to take the toll road are the people collecting the money, then maybe you should just deal with giving the pizza man a blow by blow account of how to get to your street.

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To late though, it has been decided that we will take Braces Highway and just pay the toll.

The Locomotive that is the billster

I feel like I am a locomotive train engine with about 87 cars attached. I worked my ass off to get that thing moving on down the tracks at a good little clip, but then got myself de-railed a few years ago. People are counting on that train running on down that line though, so I did not have the proper opportunity to lay on the side of those tracks while the news media swarmed all over to debate the reasons it got derailed. Was it because the engineer wasn't paying attention? Was it because the tracks were messed up? doesn't matter. What matters is that I get that thing back on the track, and it also doesn't matter that we have to start on the up-side of a hill, it just matters that we get that thing going again.

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It was hard getting traction in the beginning, because not only were we trying to get started while going up a hill, but it was raining as well. We still don't have it going at any type of a decent clip yet, but we are moving it along even with the extra baggage it has to carry now. It took a long time to get it going at the pace I had it at before the derailing, and I guess ultimately I just want to get back to that cruising speed. So chitty chitty bang bang .

Saying nothing but using 6 sentences to do it.

"If you can't say something nice about someone, then don't say anything." My momma used to tell me that. I am not saying she invented the phrase, I believe I heard my Grandmother say the same thing once or twice. She probably stole it from her grandmother, who probably heard it from a guy who had big old side burns like they used to have around the turn of the century. This is me saying nothing about someone, but using multiple sentences to do it, while at the same time referencing facial hair that was in vogue around the turn of the century.

R.I.P. Softball Season

Just a few hits short, a couple of defensive plays we needed but did not make. A season died last night. All Seasons eventually die, you just hope its of natural causes at the end of the championship game, preferably with more runs on your part of the scoreboard then the other team.

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When they die a sudden death in the playoffs, its like getting hit by a Dairy truck. Your last words are " get this Cheese off my Chest"

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We won the first game by the ten run rule, but lost the second game by a run. We had the bases loaded with two outs and Mr. Intensity hit a Pea....Unfortunately it was right at their shortstop. Line Drive out, Just another foot or so higher and two runs score and we go ahead. Just a couple of feet to the left or right and we had an opportunity to extend our season. As that softball landed in their shortstops glove, the hope of back to back championships died. It was not to be last night. We lost four games all season, three of them were to these same dudes .

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Here are the things we can take out of this though:

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We won the league last season with a 5 and 5 record. Came up a game or so short this year but ended up with a winning record of 5 and 4, so percentage wise, we were better.

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Next Wednesday instead of playing softball like we would have if we won, we will be able to celebrate the holiday like it is supposed to be celebrated, in a bar, with Irish Car Bombs.

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A story about NOT doing the Laundry.

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Last Night it was laundry time for the Billster. My apartment building has eight units, and one community Washer and Dryer machine that costs a buck fifty to use, each. -- I was going to do a load of laundry but found someone was using it. This didn't bother me. Other people in this building have as much right to use the washer machine as me. Its first come first serve, no worries there. No, what bothered me was whoever it was, evidently forgot they were doing the wash, so when I went back out about an hour and a half later to start doing mine, the wet clothes of "Mr. I forgot I was doing the Laundry" were still just sitting in the machine. (even the first time I went out, the machine was done, and they were just sitting there) Couple of choices You can make at this point. Move their stuff for them and put them in the dryer, or just come back another time. Its not like I know who this person is, and I don't want to get to personal in touching their underwear and stuff, plus, although I have a few bucks, I only had the bare minimum 12 quarters you need to do my own load. Could have moved them out of the machine and just set them on top of the dryer, but again, a little to personal with the underwear touching and stuff that would be involved.

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An hour later I went back out a third time, STILL JUST SITTING IN THE MACHINE!! - At this point I made the decision to just try again the next day and let it go, but first I thought about moving the stuff again. At this point I feel like whoever this person is, they are being rude and my rudeness back in touching there personal clothes and stuff was just to damn bad if it violated their space. I was not the one that so inconsiderately hogged the machine all freaking night. Then I thought about writing a note for them so they at least are aware of their violation of common courtesy. I was going to write it in kind of a sarcastic, passive aggressive and kind of funny way. I chose not to though, and just let it go.

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So in the end, Last night was just practice in carrying the laundry basket the 15 yards or so from my apartment building to the washer machine room. Three trips and no clean clothes to show for it, but all that practice paid off. I was able to really do a good job in toting those dirty clothes out there tonight. Just had to do it the one time today when it was a real Laundry doing type of a situation. Its like Kurt Warner says: Its not doing the Laundry that wears on you, its all the practice and conditioning in the off season. Tonight was Laundry Season but Last night was like the Organized Team Activities in the Summer.

Stuff I lost on Friday, and other things I broke on Saturday

Happy to find out I did not leave my Sport Jacket at the Bar on Friday Night. It actually made it in the cab with me and I left it in the car when I got out at my apartment. I blame myself of course, but that little fishbowl thing with the sweet drink in it also needs to take some accountability.

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Saturday, after getting a little breakfast I came back to the apartment and took a little nap on my couch. I had my sunglasses on top of my head but they evidently fell off onto the floor. I found them though immediately after getting up from the nap because of the crunching sound they made when I stepped on them.

Sploeder head

On facebook last night I saw a picture of My Daughter with three of her friends. She was at a school Dance and she was wearing a skirt. plus she had some kind of Scarf thing going on around her neck. She was doing that beautiful smile thing that she does, and did I mention she was wearing a Skirt? The girl does not normally wear dresses or skirts, although the smile thing she was rocking is a big part of who that kid is.

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I called her this morning to ask her about the dance. She said it was okay, and that mostly they just stood around in the gym. I remember that well from when I was a young teenager. Going to school dances was an exercise in just standing around with your bro's and trying your hardest to be cool. Back then I did it by trying to dress like Fonzi from Happy Days with a white t-shirt and leather jacket. Imagine your role model is basically Henry Winkler? how messed up is that? We had ANGST and didn't even know thats what it was that we had.- I told her that at 13 years old, boys need lots of help and that she should be asking them to dance instead of waiting on them to ask her, because boys at that age think to much, and their heads are filled with all kinds of contradictions and they just need some direction. Guidance is what they need, She became embarrassed talking about boys with me and basically squirmed, and hemmed and hawed until she could get me to hang up the phone. Job well done Bill, but at the same time its sad for me. She is busy living her life and growing up. I get snap shots from time to time, every couple of weeks we hang out for a few days. Instead of seeing the kid ate up with the angst and needling her about it, I just get a tiny little slice of it. Its like My daughter is a complete deli with all kinds of roast beef, ham and other meets and cheeses in the display case and then I just get one slice of ham to go in my bread.

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I remember the day she was born and I was holding her in my arms just looking at her. I remember feeling like my head was going to explode from the most incredible rush of loving another person I had ever experienced, and I nick- named her "Sploeder head" based on that feeling. She still makes my head feel like its going to explode. I love you sploeder head...

Funny little digs at Florida Basketball

Tonight Is Piano Bar time at Howl at the moon for the Billster. Love me some Piano Bar, Just a damn good time. Yesterday I was coordinating it via E-mail with some friends, so we would have a big group, and one of them said he is definitely going to request “ Not gonna make it” in Honor of the Florida Gator Basketball team.

Softball Update for March 3rd.

CLEARWATER, FL---The Defending Champions of the Clearwater Men's Rec League took down Razzles Lounge tonight, giving them their first loss of the current season. It was a back and forth affair, but to use a Curling Term, Werther's Originals had the hammer, in the form of being the home team and batting last. We took full advantage, by breaking open an 8 to 8 game in the bottom of the 6th inning with 4 runs, and then keeping them scoreless in the top half of the 7th to finish off the regular season at 4 and 3.

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This team is the very embodiment of a Rocky Movie. Imagine our season is any one of the 5 films. First we establish that we are the underdogs, but that we are tough and care about Adrian, only in this instance, our Adrian is just the love of the game of Softball. No one bitches about playing in the Freezing Cold or in the sweltering heat and we have done both.

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Its a diverse team as well. We have both FSU fans and Gator Fans all mixing in together for the common cause. We have Good players and not so good players. We have some guys who Cut their sleeves off on their shirts and others who choose not to. This Softball team is the answer to Rodney King's question: He asked " why cant we all just get along?" well Rodney, we can, and we do. There are even Tebow Haters on the team to go along with those of us who believe in the Goodness of the man.

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It was a solid victory against a very good team. It was like the perfect Jello Shot, Not to watered down, but filled with Ever Clear.

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It seemed that every one of their guys could get it out of the park, but just like drinking to many jello shots, it doesn't really hit you until a little while afterwards that you really shouldn't have more than three. (Jello Shots OR home runs, in our league)

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Three home runs in a game is all you get in our league. You are allowed 3 bombs , and if you hit more, they are just outs. If you drink more than 3 Ever clear Jello Shots, they might not hit you until about 20 minutes later, but the next day when you look back on it, besides maybe not being able to remember all the stupid stuff you did, and having a really bad hangover, you might also wish you did not hit the long ball when all it gets you is an out.

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Next week we start the playoff run. We will probably end up facing Razzles Lounge in the championship game, assuming we make it that far, but winning playoff games is just what we do. Hopefully when we play them the next time they will all be drinking Jello shots again.

Watching Idol and Eating Spaghetti tonight

Just hanging out in my apartment this Tuesday . Letting the women at Ladies Night right down the block from me go without the Billster ... Saving up my Partyness for this weekend.