Softball void filled

Softball void filled! - Actually filled it up Last Wednesday, but I have been neglecting my blog and quite honestly its only something that is interesting to me. We got our ass kicked last week but we still played, and life was good. Tonight we were the Kicker instead of the kickee, which is just all around better.

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We were up 16 to 5 but let them score six runs in their part of the 6th inning, so it looks closer then it was at 16 to 11. I played like an Old man, which I am, but it was an Old man that had a good time. Managed to not get hurt and only made a little bit of a fool out of myself.

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I was pitching and there was a guy who thought he had a triple. Our outfielder threw it to Third (the guy was on Second) and it got by, This was when the dude started heading for third when he saw the overthrow, except yours truly was backing up the play and had him dead if he kept coming to Third, so he turned and went back to second, which by all rights, I had him dead there also, except instead of throwing it to the second baseman, I threw that puppy into Centerfield. Got to work on not getting all excited like that for the future.

Fantasy Football will mess you up

Dallas Clark scored 30 fantasy points - had he scored 31 I would have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory... How messed up is it that when the Garcon kid scored for Indy, I was happy because it took away the opportunity for Clark to put me away fantasy wise. I was totally rooting for the Dolphins and loving how they kept the ball, but on that last Indy drive I was stressing. Fantasy football will mess you up.

Sweating out Dallas Clark

Going into tonight I am winning this weeks fantasy football matchup by 31 points. All my guys are done but my opponent (Feeding Frenzy) has Dallas Clark - We play in a league in which you have to get a certain amount of yards before they start counting - for tight ends the minimum is 50 yards. The very first play is 80 yards to Dallas Clark which is 8 points for the yards and as the touchdown was more then 39 yards, the T.D. was worth 12 fantasy points, so now I am only up by 11 and every ten yards is another point. Stressful shit rooting against Peyton Manning because he is Peyton Manning and he will throw a football with some precision Plus out of habit I kind of like the fish as a whole so its like a double dagger when Clark scores.

Judging Chili:

A friend of mine sent me this via E-mail. I have no idea who wrote it and I saw it years ago as well, but this is just funny:
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Texas Chili Contest:
-INTRODUCTION TO JUDGE NUMBER 3, WHOSE NAME IS FRANK:
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Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected a s a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges, (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me, I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". I am not from Texas and I had no understanding of what I was getting myself into. Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
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CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...
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Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
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Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
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Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
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CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...
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Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
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Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
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Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver.
They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
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CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...
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Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
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Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
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Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite.
Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
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CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...
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Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
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Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
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Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
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CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
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Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
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Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
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Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage.
Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher.
I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
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CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
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Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
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Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
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Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
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CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI...
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Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
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Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
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Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water.
My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
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CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...
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Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
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Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
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Judge # 3 - No Report

A little set back in the VOID filling department

The original Hooters is on a street called Gulf to Bay in Clearwater Florida and is about 2 miles from where the softball park is located. Right next door is a place called Pete And Shortys and that is where we had our post softball beer. It would be like going to NY City and eating at an Olive Garden. We had our reasons for going to the Pete And Shortys instead of the Hooters and next week we will have the same reasoning more than likely.

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The team shirts are Orange, but they are kind of a Burnt Orange, like the University of Texas shade of Orange. The Facility is pristine. Unfortunately, it is not like Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, in that it was not a dome and the skies opened up on us about midway through the games that were being played just before ours. So my softball void was left in my life for at least one more week. Crash Davis said it first: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it rains. Tonight it rained and I lost .... Lost out on playing softball.

SOFTBALL TOMORROW!!!!!!!

Softball is back for the Billster!
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Lets face it, life just isnt as good without having a night of softball once a week, and ever since I moved to Tampa, there has been a softball void, a 9 month long, void, the size of the Grand Canyon. Just a big old hole in the ground, except this void isn't in the ground, it was in my life. Tomorrow rectifies this situation and that void will be filled, Bats will be swung, errors will be made and beer will be had. Smack will be run, and a game will be played!

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I have never played with any of these guys and don't know their ability nor the skill level of the competition. so that is stressful. I do not want to be the weak link on our team but that is a chance I will take as most of these guys are in their mid to early 30's and it is an "A" League.

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I will just ball as best I can and try to use the whole field to spray the ball and let the chips fall where they may. Damn I am excited though!

A good fantasy football weekend

It was a good week of Fantasy Football for the Billster. Mostly because Adrian Peterson is one of my guys, and he is like a man among boys. That last 60 plus yard run was a thing of beauty, at one point he put on the breaks and threw a Cleveland Brown right off the field, got going again and put a Jim Brown type stiff arm on another dude, and then outran everyone else to the end zone.

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Brett Favre threw his first touchdown pass as a Viking, which doesn't really matter to me because Brett is not one of my guys, but the man who caught it was Percy Harvin who is!

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I drafted him relatively high and caught a bunch of shit from all the other dudes in the league, for being a bit of a homer (huge Gator fan here) so much so, that I made a bet that he would have more fantasy points this year then Terrell Owens. So far so good as T.O. got shut out tonight and I saw him running his jaw a little bit in the huddle and pouting some on the sidelines tonight.

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Just a beast,

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Other observations from watching a shit load of NFL games this weekend.
* Drew Brees is a stud, and I might need to think about starting Jeremy Shockey over Chris Cooley, even though Cooley also had a solid day as well.
* Tom Brady is back, and he looks alot like Tom Brady used to look, especially on those last two drives.
* Earl Bennet is going to be a Thousand Yard, 10 touchdown guy this year in Chicago because that was just a bad game for Cutler and it was an Aberration more so then a trend.
* Mark Sanchez is a football player
* I am a bit of a "geek" when it comes to watching NFL football and I realize no one gives a shit about my NFL observations and Fantasy Football except me and my mom, and she is dead.
(My Mom always loved me and she would love it just because I love it)
* That Redzone Channel is pretty awesome but the guy that narrates it needs to pin his left ear back so it doesn't stick out like half of a dumbo. (his right ear appears relatively normal)
* How much time did Brandon Stokley really kill as he ran parallel to the endzone on that last freak ass tipped ball? Seriously ...another 2 seconds?
* Brian Urlacher? Your wrist? thats going to put you out for the entire season? put some duct tape on that bitch and shoot up some pain killer and get out there and be the beast that you are.
* I had a great time this Sunday at my buddys house watching Direct T.V.

Patrick Swayze RIP

"Pain don't hurt" which just may be one of the most ridiculous lines ever uttered in a movie, but it was a ridiculous movie, where there are such things as world famous bouncers that have philosophy degrees from NYU, and it is a line I like to use in a mocking tone when the situation is appropriate. It is always a joy to me when someone knows that I am quoting Dalton from the movie "Roadhouse." That movie was so terrible that it's actually good. I love the part where "Dalton" Flips his hair around and checks himself out in the mirror as he is in the middle of a bar-fight.

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This was a movie in which a super hot looking woman is a doctor that doesn't drink but continually hangs out at a rough ass dive type of bar at 3 am in the morning. The guy from the milk commercials is also a "famous" bouncer and the level of cheese in this movie just thrills me.

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Then there is another line I like to use when the situation is appropriate, from another movie. "nobody puts baby in a corner" Patrick Swayze movies were just fun.

GE, The company that satisfies all your locomotive needs.

Watching the opening game of the NFL season and loving every minute of it, but I do wonder what the hell the executives at G.E. were thinking in running those commercials? - They are quite the creative commercials, extolling the virtue of General Electric products. Products Like Locomotives and Jet turbine engines? who is the target market for that advertising? Is someone sitting home, watching some NFL football and thinking to themselves, damn I sure would like a locomotive train or a Jet turbine engine but I just don't know which company I should buy them from? Oh... Look, GE makes Jet Turbine engines and Locomotives I thought they just made refrigerators and other appliances. I think I will buy my locomotive from them.

Happy birthday Mom...

My Mom at about 24 years old. Today would have been her 63rd birthday and is the second birthday she has had since she died in November of 2007.
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She was a good person.

Small little sibling digs

Driving up to Gainesville on Saturday Morning and the issue of Halloween came up. My son said he was going to be a vampire. My daughter said she was going to be a pirate.
when my son heard that, he offered to let my daughter use his pirate hat.
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My DAUGHTER replied: "No thanks I am just going to wear a bandana"
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My SON responded: "so you don't want to be a pirate? you are just going to be a pirate sidekick"

Just happy its back!

Awesome weekend. Just good to be out at the tailgate again, talking football.

The Fifth Beatle

The 2009/ 2010 College Football season is starting right here on my T.V.---- in my living room!

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I am sitting on my reclining chair, watching the Gamecocks play the Wolfpack. Just excited as can be, like a 6 year old kid at 7 am on Christmas day.

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Jesse Palmer the ex-Gator, ex- Giant, ex-Bachelor contestant, is doing the color commentary for me.

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(Jesse Palmer being all bachelor like)

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Of course its not just our favorite Canadian Ex-Gator-Ex-Giant-Ex-Bachelor doing the color commentary in Jesse Palmer, but it is a dual commentary situation as "CRAIG JAMES"- He of the many nicknames is mixing in some analysis as well. Craig was part of the duo at SMU that they called the Pony Express. The pony express was just an awesome nickname when considering a platoon situation at running back.

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In addition to being part of the Pony Express, James is also the last caucasion running back to have over 1000 yards in an NFL season and thus he is often referred to as the great white hope.

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James was also the Original Kirk Herbstreit on College Game Day, when that show first started.

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Many people may not remember, but Herbstreit was Lou Gehrig to Craig Jame's Wally Pip, except Craig didn't get hurt or anything to give Herbstreit the opportunity, he just thought he was bigger then ESPN and the College Game day show itself. He bet on that, and found out he wasn't after all. He continues to do analyst work now, even back at ESPN, but back in the day, he just thought he would go pull the same thing off at CBS.

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As Lee Corso might say: "NOT SO FAST CRAIGY..."

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College gameday was the first pre-game show devoted to College Football as a whole, and is now as much a part of a Saturday Morning during the fall, as McDonalds Egg McMuffins are required eating as you head your way down to the tailgate site.

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Its Like James was the FIFTH BEATLE but because he wasn't aloud to sing lead vocals he quit before College Game Day blew up into the institution it is now.

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Fantasy Football

This past weekend we had our fantasy draft and these are my starters in the Big Money league.
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Feeling pretty good about it, plus the Cowboys defense .... and Cooley cracks me up with those awesome shorts.