Funny Mother In Law Humor

Dude just got married, here he is with his Beautiful wife catching an Ear Full from his mother in law. (Thanks NTF) Thats just funny stuff!

Only 100 Days to Gator Kickoff

Only 100 days till September 4th. Just a bit over 3 months. Pretty sure I know what I am going to be doing that day, and it involves Beer, Hamburgers, Beautiful women in Sundresses, oblong shaped balls, Laughing and running my mouth.

RIP Jarvis Williams

Jarvis Williams Died today of an apparent Heart Attack. He was about my age and grew up about an hour away from where I did. We played Football against each other in High School. He was on that 1981 State Championship Team from Palatka Florida. That Palatka Team had Two guys that ended up playing many Years in the NFL (John L. Williams was the other) They Beat us that year on their way to that State Championship, and then Jarvis and John L. Williams went on to Play for the Gators. I went on to watch the Gators. Jarvis Williams could put a Hit on you that is for damn sure.
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An Open Letter to the Tampa Media

Dear Media People.

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This is An Open letter to talk radio dudes and Newspaper columnists that are trying to throw a Guilt trip on me about the RAYS attendance woes. Shut the fuck up. I go as much as I can. I Like going to those damn games a whole lot, but when I show up and there are only 10 thousand or so other people also at the game, and you start your rant about how we are not supporting the team, leave me the hell out of it okay.

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When there are 10 thousand or so at the game and I was unable to make it, STILL, Leave me the hell out of your rant. I go as much as I can. I also watch a bunch of it on T.V. and I have paid 11 dollars for a single import beer while at the game, (granted it is a 24 oz beverage so that makes it a little more palatable) I have paid 10 bucks to park my car, and I have paid over $100 for three tickets to take my kids. Even bought a $50 shirt so I can style. I support em, and I love em and I am sick of you trying to make me feel guilty because I cant always make it to every freaking game.

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Its not always about the money it cost, because sometimes I get the hook up, sometimes its just about having a life as well. 81 home games is a bunch of Baseball. Sometimes I am out of town, sometimes I have other commitments and yes, sometimes its just not a good fit being all the way over in St. Pete. Yes, I might go to even a few more games if they were over here on this side of the bay, but that is not the point. The point is, I am sick of the whining in the media about the poor attendance. Go Lay your Guilt trip on someone else. I am not going to any more games then I am already going to go to with or without your little Rant.

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Signed, Bill, ( a guy who will probably go to about 16 games this year or roughly 20% of the home schedule and not feel guilt at all about not making it to more )

From You Tube

This is the end of a news story about some kind of shot a woman can get in her private area that helps her enjoy sex a little more. The Male News Anchor kind of gets right to the point at the end... Its a riot.

Craziness gone unchecked

Reading an Article in the Gainesville Sun this past weekend about a Mother and Father that got arrested for Child neglect. - Evidently it came out that this 16 year old girl and her Mother and Father had been living in the Back yard of their home since 2007 because the mother insisted they could not go in the home because she had it so clean.
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On So many levels, this is just whacked out. First of all, the husband is the one that said it was only since 2007, The 16 year old daughter said it has been more like 8 years. Second of all, what kind of dude would put up with that level of craziness? "Ummm, Yes honey, its clean , and you know what, if it gets dirty, we can just clean it again"
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Jimmy Buffet

From the Jimmy Buffet concert a few weeks ago... I suck at uploading pictures... but I had some from the Rays Game and these were in the same roll... Errrr Digital thingy....

Ponce DeLeon Hotel

Stayed at the Ponce DeLeon Hotel on Saturday Night after the Rays Game. It is right in down town St Pete, next to the Marina, about a mile away from Tropicana Field. It had the whole San Francisco Vibe going on with it. The room I stayed in was tiny, plus the mirrors were set so low you had to scrunch down to see your reflection. It was awesome.

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So was that Pizza we ate at Midnight... Drunk Pizza Eating is some of my favorite Pizza Eating in the whole world, except I burned the roof of my mouth, because I was to impatient to wait for that thing to cool down enough before I started sliding it down my Gullet...

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We also stumbled into a gay bar and saw a one legged man dressed up like a woman that had a Mohawk. Wish I would have taken a photograph of that dude.

The Ponce DeLeon Hotel is the hotel of choice for all your Saturday Night Rays Game and Bar hopping experiences.

Softball Synopsis for May 12th

If tonight's Softball Game between Werther's Originals and the Wolfpack were a Novel, it would be a Best Seller, unless it was written by one of those Wolfpack dudes, If they wrote it, then it would just be one of those self published novels, that only your mom reads.

Their Mom's would probably hate how it turned out, but lie to their Wolfpack Kids because they feel some sense of obligation to those dudes, seeing as how every mom that has ever lived will talk about the minimum 23 Bajillion hours they spent in labor delivering your sorry ass.

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The least you could do as a kid, or son, that plays hack league softball, after putting your mother through that intense pain, is win a damn hack league softball game when you are up 8 to 2 after five innings. (If you lose, don't be writing any damn novels about that shit that you have to self publish in your basement.)

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Not withstanding the pain their mothers must be going through after that game, Our moms are generally pleased. They see their sons as noble individuals and guys that fight for what is good in this world. Anne Franks would tell us how life is worth living and stuff because that is what her diary talks about, So let me just interject myself here, and tell everyone on our team that your Moms are proud of you. They did not go through 20 bajillion hours of labor to birth failures. (ever notice how no mom in the world has ever given birth in 23 minutes like they do all the time in any sitcom you have ever watched when a child is being born?) Anne Franks would also be proud because we felt the MoJo that is life and let it carry us through the hiding in the basement part we were doing during the 8 to 2 part of that game when we had the two.

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We still did not hit that well, only scoring 11 runs in a hack league softball game, and maybe Richard Gere is never going to come up that ladder and rescue us from our hookerness. (Richard Gere being our hitting explosion Metaphor from Pretty woman, in that he was REALLY RICH which is what we would like to be in terms of softball hitting wise, and our hookerness being the Julia Robert's Character that has no self esteem in regards to how our hitting has been awful for most of the last half of this season, because, hey, she is a hooker, kind of like our hitting is just trying to survive in this world as well, by selling ourselves out and just getting by)

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Maybe we will just play Defense for the rest of our lives and win games with tiny little softball scores like 11 to 8 as we did tonight. Maybe that is how we roll.

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Maybe we are like the pre-pubescent girl that never grows breasts at all. I am not saying we don't want to have knockers like Pam Anderson, and hit the shit out of the ball, but maybe we just have to be happy with the legs we have that are like Giselle Bundschen, (if Giselle Bundschen's legs represented our defense.) Seriously, that woman has some legs..... which reminds me of the ZZ Top Concert I went to a couple of weeks ago. "She's got Legs, and she knows how to use them..." So did we ...There were only a few errors and in the fourth inning I only threw three pitches to get three outs...The Legs we were throwing out there defensively was just a sexy Giselle Bundschen kind of defense. ..

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Afterward we drank some beer and discussed life in general . Some of the questions and topics that were discussed and answered were: 1) why Doug Johnson (used to play QB for The Gators and Atlanta Falcons) is a douchebag 2) what happens to the space in your body where your spare kidney used to be when you donate it out to someone. 3) various Cake Decoration mistakes. 4) Chicken fried Chicken with Gravy and how awesome a meal that is 5) did the Rays really just go 6 and 3 on their west coast swing? 6) did Wilfred Brimley die? or was he sitting at the end of the bar we were patronizing tonight? 7) Who is Wilfred Brimley? 8) what if the Rays got any production whatsoever out of BJ Upton, Tony Pena, and Pat Burrell, how awesome would they be then when considering even without those guys contributing much offensively the Rays have the best team in all the major leagues 9) How awesome is this Saturday going to be when a ton of us go to the Saturday Game which is followed by a Nelli concert. 10) who is Nelli? and what songs might I know that he sings. 11) is it necessary to do Homework on Nelli by looking him up on You Tube or should you just go with the flow and not worry about it? 12) Is doing an Oil Change yourself really worth not spending the 19.99 you would spend at Jiffy Lube to have someone else scrape the hell out of their knuckles instead of you getting the Filter off worth it? Plus, the time it takes to do it yourself versus just driving in and paying the 19.99 to have that shit done for you? -

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We ponder lots of shit, Thats what we do. We think about life and all that life does while it plays out in front of us and with us both for us and against us... Tonights Softball game was definitely a "for us kind of moment" Go "Werthers ORIGINALS" as our Third baseman's kid's would totally yell out if they had gone to this game.

Where are the Brett Favre will he or wont he stories this summer

Brett Favre laying on the ground holding his head thinking to himself, "I am just getting to damn old to do this shit anymore. This hurts." Seriously, Brett, Don't let this be the end of your career, Get back up off that rug, have that surgery on your ankle and give it another run. At least get yourself in the news saying you dont know yet if you are coming back or not. Its the offseason, and that is part of the fabric of the summer, at least the last couple of summers anyways. ---One day they wont want you anymore, let that be the day that you give it up, for now you are still wanted, you are still Brett Favre.
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When Brett Favre is doing that Brett Favre stuff that he does it really is a beautiful thing. At one time he was my favorite Pro QB to watch play, not that I thought he was better then Manning the elder or Brady the GQ model, Just that he played the game with such passion and seemed to be having so much fun doing it.

Alabama Football Fan

Found this on the internet. I do believe this guy really, really likes Alabama Football. Holy cow!

I will be looking for him in Tuscaloosa this year when Florida Plays Bama because this guy would probably be fun to party with

Flooding in Nashville

A friend of mine who lives in Nashville sent me this video/ Photo montage.
It really is true that there has not been much talk about it in the national news, which is referenced in the clip, but it sure does look pretty bad.
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If you click on the video while its playing it will take you directly to google and the layout will be easier to see

Tebow's Bronco Jersey Is Out selling all of them. Real Jesus is quite proud.

Tebow is a phenomenon like no other player in the league.
























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So Tebow is selling the hell out of the Denver Bronco's number 15 Jersey. His Jersey has out sold EVERY single NFL player in the League during the month of April, and he has only been on the Bronco's since the 22nd, So to clarify, The man only had 8 days as a Pro during the month of April and in those 8 days, his jersey was the number one selling jersey for every Pro Football Player in the league. Just another Example of Tebow exceeding all expectations ...

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He spotted everyone a 22 day head start and ran them all down. He is not your ordinary 3rd String Quarterback. He is like Jesus, He is the Jesus back, and Real Jesus is Clearly Proud of him.

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In addition to out selling everyone in the NFL. He is also breaking all time records. Since the NFL has been tracking, no rookie has ever sold more Jerseys.... EVER. I do believe he has a chance to have the number one selling Jersey for 2010. I have not bought one yet, but will certainly buy at least two. One for each of my kids at or around the appropriate birth dates. 30 percent of the sales have been to Floridians. Its like the Bronco's not only drafted a Quarterback, they drafted a whole new fan base to add on to the fan base that was already rooting for them. It really is amazing when you think about it. - I can not remember any rookie having this kind of impact before ever throwing a pass or running over a linebacker or safety.

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Tebow is playing it all humble ... He was quoted in the Denver Post as saying that it is "Surreal" that his jersey is out selling many of the players that he grew up idolizing. --

What I have been up to, the quick version

Jimmy Buffet on Saturday April 24th, --Bought myself two new pillows on Sunday April 25th, Tuesday the 27th, I went to a Rays game (they won) April 28th, played softball (we lost), April 29th went to a Rays Game, (they won), April 30th drove to Gainesville to get my kids, went to an Arcade, My son finally beat me at Air Hockey (first time that ever happened) Saturday May 1rst, went to my sons football game (they won), drove to Adventure Island in Tampa, rode some slides, jumped off some fake cliff things, bought year passes, went to a Rays Game later that evening, (they Lost) watched ZZ Top perform afterwards (love two of their songs more than the others ---"Sharp Dressed Man" and "Legs") Sunday May 2nd, drove back to Gainesville to drop off my kids and then back to Tampa. Monday May 3rd, Had a board meeting and then a board dinner afterwards,--- Wednesday May 5th, played Softball (we lost --AGAIN)

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Funny things that happened ... Playing New ball at the Rays game on Thursday -- we got everyone all around us to join in...(everyone puts in a dollar and you pass the money to the next person every time a new ball is introduced to the ball game, at the end of the half inning, whoever is holding the money keeps it)

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A heavy set lady got stuck by the side of the pool at Adventure Island (probably 5'3" and 300 lbs plus) -- she literally could not get up... Just before I couldn't stand it anymore, and was getting ready to go help her, someone else did. My Daughter begging me to help her, --- my Son begging me not to (he was worried it would be to embarrassing for her) ME to my son: -- Don't you think its embarrassing enough that she is stuck on the ground and can't get up by herself? -- My SON: DAD DON'T HELP HER -- My Daughter: DAD, GO HELP THAT LADY GET UP...

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My Son at the ZZ Top Concert: -- Dad, who knew old guys could Rock?

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Lots of living going on in the past week or so ..