A back pack of feathers.

Felt kind of happy earlier this evening. Still had all the same problems I have had recently, but for some reason it did not seem to matter as much today. I don't know if the fact some good news came out of the NFL Owners meetings in Chicago today, but that certainly didn't hurt any either.

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Wish I could get the MOJO working like this more often, but it's just hard right now. Everything is Hard. I just feel a huge weight on my back lately but today it felt kind of like a back pack of feathers.

Dexter season is coming again soon!

Watching re-runs of Dexter. Is it wrong that I like this show so much? New season coming soon.

Fishing

The "what if" game and the "Getting Old" Game are not fun.

Wednesday Night, our softball team had a double header. We lost both of them, and fell to zero and three on the season. (we got drilled last week)

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We were competitive in each game tonight though, and had we just made a few less mistakes, we could have easily won both. You could also say; that if we had made the same amount of mistakes, but also just mixed in a couple of more hits here and there, we could have taken both of those games. That is the "what if'' game though, and that particular game can be played in all aspects of everyones life.

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"What if" is a son of a bitch of a game.

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I constantly find myself getting drawn into that little game, not just in softball, but in life. I am both blessed and cursed with an introspective mind. I constantly judge myself. Lately, it has been quite harsh for my life in general, and tonight with the softball game was no different.

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Defensively I made one stupid throwing error and I walked two guys as well. Those are mistakes. Offensively, I went 1 for 3 in the first game, and 3 for 4 in the second. I hated making those three outs because all three of them were weak ass pop ups, and I am a pretty good single's type of hitter because I can generally hit the ball to any field. (not much power anymore though) I forgave myself relatively quickly with those particular things, but the real problem I have is that I actually felt old tonight.

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I know that I AM old, but generally I don't think about it. Tonight was different. Late in the second game I consciously chose to not back stuff up defensively because I decided in order to continue to throw strikes and not walk dudes, I had to conserve my energy. I was tired in the late innings of that second game, the 90 plus degree heat and running around the bases just took a lot out of me.

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It was harsh, but I was just short of puking at some points during the late part of that second game. I also saw the end of my playing days. It won't be for a few more years yet, but I had always told myself I would play softball as long as I was not ever the worst player on any team I was on. Tonight I was damn close with my lollygagging ass. Other dudes might not have had as many hits as I did tonight, and some guys made a bunch more errors then I did, but I am positive I was the only guy on my team that could not have made it through a third game if we had one on our schedule.

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"Getting Old" is another son of a bitch of a game.

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Neither the "what if" game or the "getting old" game are fun. In the former, it is just some bullshit in your past that you can't do a damn thing about, and in the latter, it really is just some shit that is going to happen in your future.

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I would write more, because my weakness tonight is bugging me, but its early in the morning now, and I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.

Awesome App that I truly hope really exists

Someone I follow on twitter, tweeted that her Husband found an App for his phone that allows the phone to turn into a remote control for the T.V. She went on to say that he passed out because he got such a boner that all the blood rushed out from his head into his Johnson.

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I want this app so bad, but only if it will work to control random televisions out in the public. Wouldn't it be cool to walk into a bar, and have everyone watch whatever it is that I think we should be watching?

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Hope beyond hope that this is a real thing and that it has those capabilities.

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Fail, then fail some more, then fail again.

Just pretty much exhausted right now. I want a month off or so from work, but am so buried that it would be impossible. It would be impossible even if I wasn't buried- work is just hard right now, and it doesn't look like it is letting up any. just lots of fail .

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My Rent is going up this month as well. - Fail

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I haven't been feeling this blog lately either, because I am kind of in the doldrums. Pretty sure I am not going to end up averaging 16 posts a month like I had sort of planned going into this year. It's Just another Fail for the billster.

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Also a woman I like, gave me a 2:10 in the morning text this past weekend, asking me to come over, and I missed it because I was already asleep. That is kind of aggravating. -More Fail.

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We finally got back to the new season in softball, and in our first game we got drilled. - Fail.

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My Ex-wife disagrees with me on some summer issues, and of course if it doesn't go her way her natural inclination is to just threaten to sue- Fail

By definition if you eat other people you are a cannibal

Read a story today about a guy who was arguing with his girlfriend, and when it started to get physical, another guy stepped in to break it up. - The guy who started it, bit off part of the good samaritan's ear, and then swallowed it. --- Technically that dude is a cannibal.

From the weekend of the 14th

Discipline according to Michael Irvin

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Bill Gets political

Here is me being political. Ron Paul. Vote for the dude. - I can tell you why, but research him for yourself instead. - Short version, He will be harsh economically like we need, Even kind of like a grown up, but he will be liberal socially. Probably to weird for anyone to vote for him in numbers, but I think he is the best man for the job.

Lawyers and Judges and Billionaires and Millionaires going down the road of sadness

Today, an appellate court in St Louis upheld the NFL 's right to continue the lockout on the players.

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The Players union representative, Demaurice Smith then had the obligatory statement that he is disappointed, but that they are prepared to be out for 2 years. This is depressing, and because of this ruling and the overall tenor of this whole dispute, today was the first time it occurred to me that they will not get this thing worked out in time for this NFL Season to start on time.

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We will have the College game, but football season just won't be the same if they can't get it figured out. Plus I also heard HBO offered the hard knocks slot to the BUCS (assuming it gets worked out) but the Bucs declined the invitation.

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Depressing news is depressing.

Negotiation.

My Kids negotiating with the police right by the left field line . Derek Lee had thrown Hunter a ball during the game and he was trying to play catch with it after the game during the Darius Rucker Concert. The police were concerned about an errant throw hitting someone else so they told him to quit. This negotiation resulted in them being able to throw the ball, under-hand.

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We had some awesome seats right over the Orioles dugout.

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